Phinnies

"Not the Answer"

Suicide is not the answer

that you think you're running toward.

You're not running from your pain,

you're running from Your Lord.

Ending it all, here and now,

may seem right at the time.

But to give in to the darkness

would be a tragic crime.

You have a glorious future,

trust me, you really do!

God's love is enough you see

for ALL you're going through.

I know that life's not easy

hurting more than you can bear

but God is right there hurting

and will help you if you dare.

Dare to call on the One

who can make your healing come.

Dare to trust in His mercy

instead of doing something dumb.

I am here for you, you know that

but I'm not what you really need.

You need to find your jailor

so that you too can be freed.

I'm not saying it will be easy

but I know what I'm talking about.

When you are locked in by pain

only God can show you out.

Because love lives on

and lives on in me.

I could never give up

for they mean the world to me.

Yes, I was damaged-

the pain and sorrow surreal.

And yes, I even doubted

if I would ever heal.

But because I know the Lord,

and the love inside of me,

I knew that if I had faith

a healing there would be.

Once a hated enemy,

time was now my friend.

As we waited upon the Lord

and for relationships to mend.

Yes, because love lives on

and lives on in me.

I didn't give up

for they mean the world to me.

Cobalt ink flies across the parchment,

as my heart pours out from the pen.

Unable to come to terms with my feelings,

wondering if I will ever come to trust again.

Through a raging tempest, the letter is written

including my emotions and yes, my fears.

A correspondence of total honesty

crafted through many waves of my tears.

Neverending questions arise in me

as I try to determine what best to say.

But what of these painful emotions

that I alone must convey?

Through the pain and suffering

will my message of love be lost?

Will being honest exact upon me

some enormous and painful cost?

After many tear stained hours

upon the paper my essay lives

but now my heart is in dismay

and I can only pray each forgives.

Now there is but one thing to do

I close my eyes tight to pray.

Please Lord, let there be healing

in our relationships today.

"God's Little Reminder"

Fields of green and golden splendor,

children running wild and free,

a warm spring reminder of life

and what is important to me.

My child playing safely with friends,

healthy, loving and always a smile,

brightening any room or heart

by just visiting for a short while.

No matter what life chooses to send

there is one thing that I can always say -

God loved me so much to send

this child of grace to me this day.

I'm diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression, Bipolar Type II and Borderline Personality Disorder. I've read that a certain percentage of the population will have multiple diagnoses but I hadn't heard of that many people with 3. Are you diagnosed with more than one.....if so, what are yours?

"Recoil"

I no longer have a voice.

I no longer know what to say.

I never thought it would come to this.

I never thought I’d lose my way.

I’m lost in some illusion

That things will turn out right.

But I always seem to think this

Before the darkest night.

My heart has started to recoil,

beat back by the shock

That a trusted friend

was no longer my rock.

I thought by now it would change,

My heart would be back to new

But that can not happen

Until I can once again look to You.

Forgive me for my failures,

Forgive me for looking down.

I failed to look to You

When things got me down.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian and I want the atheists ( I know, their ideas very) to come to know Christ the way I do however, posting these stupid questions as if we'll give them that one pearl of wisdom and show them the light is pretty weak. The same is for the atheist who tries to explain away faith through his brand of logic and reasoning which will never work either.

Both approaches are pointless don't you think unless you have an ongoing dialogue which is impossible here? Does anyone actually exchange emails to continue the heart to heart - nope. It seems rather pointless to me....thoughts?

I'm just curious because all that we do is based on Wesley writings and I find it funny that so few has read his journal or any of his other writings. It is REALLY good stuff.

http://www.ccel.org/w/wesley/?show=worksBy

Now, please don't say "I wouldn't" .....don't bother responding if you can't answer the question.

Rule - You can't pick another "flavor" of your current beliefs. You can't go from Protestant to Catholic....or Atheist believing in Reincarnation to not believing. We're talking a change in your total belief system here.

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Me - I'm a Christian so if I am assuming my God & Christ is out, I would probably go with Buddhism. There is a lot of wisdom in their beliefs.