Heidi B

I have a standard white apartment door that's accumulated a lot of scuff marks from shoes over the duration of my stay. I really want it cleaned off, but I'm at a loss as to how. Anyone else know anything? It's a $100 if they do it!!

A few months ago, I learned that my boss was in the middle of dissolving his partnership. It is a very acrimonious dissolution on both sides.

I was asked to start coding company credit card charges as invoices to the boss, who in turn would pay himself. I pulled him aside privately several times and told him I was really uncomfortable doing this. I was told several times to shut up and do it.

I was also the designated safety rep of the company, meaning I was in charge of all things safety related. I gave the presentations, researched applicable OSHA standards, what have you. I noticed more than a few safety violations and concerns. Again, I told my boss and filled out the required forms. When I handed them in, he threw them in the trash. He told me not to be stupid, and that he didn't give a damn. I started raising a stink, and he got upset.

Shortly thereafter, I was promptly terminated for issues I knew nothing about. I was not counselled on the issues, company protocol was not followed, and there is certainly no documentation in regards to the issues he is claiming.

The state supervisor regarding retaliatory terminations is investigating this matter. In the meantime, I need to search for a new job. It seems that the rent and my daughters physical therapy won't get paid on hopes and dreams. ;-)

What the heck am I supposed to put on my résumé?! The other partner has no problems giving me a glowing recommendation due to the circumstances. Nonetheless, I cannot put on my résumé exactly why I was fired. If I'm branded a whistleblower, I'll be a pariah. Clearly, bad-mouthing my employer is NEVER an option. Yes, there's ill-will all around but I'm a professional.

Any ideas?

I have super thick hair, though it's been thinned a bit since it's all layered. It reaches the middle of my back. Here's the thing: stupid hair won't hold a friggin' curl. I've tried all kinds of products before / during / after styling, clean hair, dirty hair. Curling irons, rollers, pin curls. It seems my hair is as stubborn as I am! It'll stay curled for roughly 20 minutes, and then falls flat. The ONE time it held a curl, I used SO much product it was crunchy, and it looked like 1980's Miss USA Contestant hair. (Mousse, gel, hair spray. Took two shampoos to wash all that crap out.)

I was hoping someone had any suggestions? I like it straight, but I'd REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like to curl it every now and again!!

Recently, I left Office A for a job opportunity that was just too good to pass up. It was a promotion, and it meant more pay. After being there only SIX days, they've decided to restructure the company and I was laid off. I left on Office A on good terms, gave 2 weeks, and had a great track record. I know *some* of my old job duties have since been filled by another (former) colleague. I'd like to at least ASK for my old job back, but I have no idea how to go about it. Do I simply walk in, explain my situation, and ask? I've never done this before, and I'd prefer to go back to my Office A rather than a long (and who knows how long) job hunt.

I am in quite the pickle and I have no idea how to resolve this issue. My coworker, “Susan” and her husband “Thomas” are friends of mine. My fiancé and I have had them over several times, and I often would go to help out on their ranch in exchange for riding horses.

When I had my wisdom teeth taken out a few days ago, my fiancé couldn’t get the time off work to take me to the surgeons office, so Thomas volunteered. He also offered to stay with me that day, and I accepted his offer. The problem is, when I got home and came to from the anesthesia lying on the couch, his hand was down my pants and he was rubbing me intimately! I was shocked and appalled, and when I confronted him on it, he said I must have imagined it. I know darn good and well I didn’t. I felt extremely violated and sick to my stomach, and ended up moving to the bedroom-where there’s a lock on the door.

Here’s where I’m REALLY thrown for a loop: Susan came over today and said that in the past she’s caught Thomas in compromising positions with other women, but it “wasn’t his fault.” Thomas told her that they women came onto him and forced him into committing those acts. (Basically, the woman all raped him.) SHE BELIEVES HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY. She completely believes that none of the acts were his fault.

I haven’t told my fiancé anything, because I quite simply don’t know what to say. I also have no idea what to tell Susan. I have every reason to believe she’d blame me, and Thomas would feed her a line of crap about how I came onto him, I wanted it, et cetera. Furthermore, we work together in very close quarters, and my office would become a living nightmare. I thought about trying to find a different job and THEN telling her, but unemployment in my city is 9%.

What do I do? Do I simply say nothing, and distance myself from them? How do I tell my fiancé? If I do tell her, do I say something to my boss as well? I can’t stop thinking about this, and I really feel she should know her husband is sexually assaulting women who are unconscious.

I’ve been with my company for 4 years now, and I love it. I like the work, I like the people I work for and with. The problem is, due to extreme cutbacks, I haven’t gotten a raise since I worked here. In fact, my pay has been slashed dramatically, and corporate issued a memo stating that it’ll probably remain this way for the next 2 years unless something drastic happens. I cannot continue to support my family (IE pay bills, put gas in the car, put food on the table) with my wages anymore. We’ve cut back as much as we possibly can, in every conceivable area: food, entertainment, clothing- you name it. But because our wages have been cut, we’re starting to fall behind, and it’s putting us in a financial tailspin.

As a result, I’ve started to look for other employment that will pay me a decent wage. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of how blessed I am just to have a job! My question is this: on most job applications, it asks you why you left your last job. I simply don’t know what to say. How do I convey that I love my company, and I’m loathe to leave them but it all boils down to I don’t make enough with them to stay?

For the last 8 weeks, my left breast will swell up a complete cup size, and the aerola looks like it's peeling and it itches like crazy. During that time I'll have a discharge that looks like Elmers glue. Then, it'll go away for a few weeks. However, it is constantly throbbing and occasionally it feels like instead of milk ducts or mammory glands I have fire running through the tissue. I also noticed a 3" dimple running on the underside of my left breast.

My Mother had BC when she was 32, and it was "hormonally nourished." My paternal Aunt died from imflammatory BC when she was 41. My twin sister had 3 benign lumps removed two years ago.

My doctor ordered an ultrasound, and it was inconclusive. He suggested it may very well be Paget's or BC, even though I am so you because of the family history. He suggested Mastitis, though he said it was a long shot because I haven't nursed in over two years. I go in to see a surgeon Friday to discuss a mammogram and/or a MRI.

The ultrasound tech blew me off, and I have to admit it irritated me. Just because I am young doesn't mean a cancer prognosis is any less scary.

Can someone give me any ideas as to what's causing this? The waiting is killing me. If you had BC, did you have any of my above mentioned signs?

I bought a used iPod Nano off Craigslist, and I told the girl I liked the music she had on there, and to leave it. iTunes recognizes the device, but it won't sync up. I tried to transfer the purchases to her old iTunes to mine, but it says I need to authorize my PC first. I've authorized the computer a million times! Now I can't sync it up or download music to it, and it's getting pretty frustrating. It says that it's got all the updates and the software? Any advice or help would be great! I don't want to erase the music that's on it and start over, but if I have no choice...I guess I will.

I'm going to interviews and they're always "Give us a situation where you dealt with someone you didn't get along with? How did you deal with that?" And I'm stumped. I get along with pretty much everyone in my office. There was one time at a previous job where a girl hated me because I had "dated" her fiancé back in middle school. (Yes, I'm serious. Middle school.) She trashed my desk and I went to HR who refused to get involved, and I ended up quitting. The other time, the receptionist I worked with was my bosses daughter whom everyone despised due to her entitled attitude. I simply avoided her, and the fews times I need need to interact with her I made it a point to be poilte & curteous to a fault. She ended up quitting, and I've never had any problems with anyone since. There's been one sales rep that would get upset that I kicked back his error-riddled paperwork, but I resolved that by giving him examples of how it needed to be filled out.

Point is, I really don't know how to answer this question and saying "I get along with everyone" sounds like a copped-out lie. Telling them what happened at my previous job sounds outrageous (though 100% true) and I'm afraid that if I tell them my bosses daughter quit it will sound like I made her quit,, even though A) nobody liked her and B) she quit to be a SAHM...

What do I say?

My fiancé and I need to lay some ground sterilizer on the sides of our house. It needs to be able to kill bamboo and some pretty stubborn weeds. What is a good brand? Can we do it ourselves? Is it permanent? Will it get into the soil and kill the yard we've spent two years making halfway decent? Any ideas are appreciated!

My parents have been in the middle of an ugly divorce for nearly four years. During that time, my mother has drunkenly called me, and made threats against my Father and his fiancee. My Dad want me to testify against my Mother in their divorce trial.

I live in WA, can they do this? I worry my Mother will never speak to me again. I don't want to be in the middle of this.

I had let my dog outside, around the side of the house, towards the back to go pee. The mailman came around the side of house, and the dog barked once, and he started yelling and put his hand on what I found out later was pepper spray. The dog started to run towards the mailman, barking, tail wagging.

I ran after her, and she stopped about six feet from the mailman, still sort of barking and her tail still wagging. Right as I was going to grab her collar, the mailman pepper sprayed her, backed up, tripped over a tree root, and fell.

I corralled the dog, put her inside, and in the meantime the mailman said he's have to write a report on this, and said, "You crazy *****, that dog needs to be put down!"

This is the first time he's dealt directly with my dog. The dog is normally inside, and I've seen him on one occasion egging the dog on to bark, and then complain that the dog was "vicious".

I understand that as a responsible pet owner, I need to keep her inside when the mailman comes. However, he comes at all hours, so I cannot accurately predict when he will be there. Also, the dog was in the middle of peeing. He came up around the side of the house, towards the back yelling and advancing aggressively.

What, if any recourse, do I have? My dog was yelping in pain for twenty minutes, and got some up her nose. This is the first time ANYTHING like this has ever happened. Had I known the mailman was coming, I could've avoided this but I didn't.

This will be the second marriage for both of us. His first wedding was a big, lavish affair whereas mine was an extremely small (think 15 guests) party, so we're having a medium sized wedding. No more than 75 people, total. We've cut major costs already by buying our rings off of Craigslist, and my wedding gown was $300 from eBay. I plan on doing a bunch of things myself, such as the invitations, programs, centerpieces, decorations,et cetera. I'm an artistic, crafty person, so I'm actually looking forward to doing these things!

My question is what are some ways to save money on the venue and the catering? Since we're paying for the wedding ourselves, we can't afford an eight thousand dollar venue, no matter how pretty it may be. For the catering, I'm just lost. My first wedding was a pot-luck! His former inlaws paid for his first wedding, and he has no idea how much they spent. We'd like to set a more formal tone, but not break the bank in the process!

Thanks!

We moved into a beautiful little house with a very nice large front yard. The problem is that the previous owners woefully neglected the yard which means parts of the yard are unsightly dirt. What is green isn't the green I'd like to see! The neighbor to my right obviously LOVES dandelions, judging by the amount in her yard. Now, unfortunately they've spread to my yard. I've tried digging the roots out and they're just not leaving. So I need to know what the BEST way to kill them so they don't come back. Also, the other neighbor has some bamboo plants in his yard. They've taken over the side of my house, and now it's in the front of my yard. From what I've found it's nigh impossible to kill but hey I'm up to the challenge. We also have some goatheads and Oregon Grape vine growing that is simply unsightly.

So if anyone has any idea how to kill these nuisances, and a way to make my yard lovely and green again, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!

Well, I got a very brief phone call from the hubs today. He got his "temporary additional duty orders" to go to Afghanistan. The way he explained it is he's not being stop-lossed, and he's not getting a forced extension, but he must stay with his unit (that's deploying to Afghanistan in July). To me that's a round about way of saying he's going. He said unless they get enough new Marines to replace the ones leaving the USMC, he's going. Does that mean new recruits, new Marines through this training, what? He didn't have time to explain what that meant. Also, any idea what the chances are of getting new Marines or is there no way to predict that?

My husband, a Lance Corporal in the Marines, and I are expecting our first child in October, and we're thrilled. We were very much looking forward to him being out of the Marines in July, when we could really be a family. However, now with the 17,000 troops being deployed in Afghanistan, it looks like that might be delayed. His unit is one of the units being deployed. He said he might get a "forced extension" to deploy with them, meaning even though he was supposed to be out, they might force him to stay in. One of my friends, a former Marine herself, said that Lance Corporals are "a dime a dozen" in the Marines, and he probably won't deploy. However, a friend of mine who's father was a Marine said that chances are, if his unit's deploying, he's going.

Honestly, what are the chances he'll deploy? He's already served two tours of duty in Iraq. My husband is doing training ops right now, and he's incommunicado, but the not knowing is really stressing me out.

My baby is almost 9 months old and so far done very well on all the baby foods she's eaten. At daycare, she ate a strawberry banana mix. Her private area is very red, and it hurts her when I change her diaper. Her bottom isn't red, just her female parts. She also had loose, watery grayish-black stool all night long. Could she be allergic to the strawberries? Bananas have never done this to her before. Her pediatrician hasn't called me back yet, and I'm very concerned.

She doesn't have anything else wrong with her, like a fever, vomiting, swollen face or anything like that.

Have you had this happen before? Was your baby allergic or just not ready for strawberries?

A couple of months ago, my boss made me go to a networking event. One lady, L, cornered me & went on and on about her prepaid legal firm. I tried to politely tell her that while that must be exciting, I'm just an assistant and couldn't make any decisions for the firm I work for. To basically shut her up, I gave her my office number, never thinking she'd call. She calls every week, wanting to set up a meeting. My boss already met with her & told her we're not interested. But, me being a pushover, agreed to set up a date for coffee in 3 weeks. L already knows that I have no authoritative power for my firm and they're not interested, but she insists on meeting with me. How do I politely get out of this meeting and tell her once and for all, we're not interested in her services?

Thank you.

I'll be in the San Diego area from 01/30-02/07. Aside from the usual touristy things like Sea World or the San Diego Zoo, what are some good things to do and see while I'm there? I'm on a tight budget, by the way. Thanks!

We are moving into a new house next month. One bathroom will be the bathroom the kids will be sharing. The kids spend the night 4 days out of the month with us. We want a theme that isn't too gender-centric. I.E. Hannah Montana or Spider Man. The kids will be 7 and 9. We also want a theme that we can easily 'grow' with them. I was thinking maybe a beach-themed bathroom? Ideas? We're on a tight budget, so if anyone can suggest some DIY that would be great. Thanks!