Nina

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,

they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper

berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying....

Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the

closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.' 'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,........

let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!........................ that's a great idea', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. ............. "get your own f..............blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.

The End

over the edge with Matt Dillon

I loved it and still do

One of the episodes had a song on it. I think it was Father find me now by Bruce springsteen. Does anyone know where I can find the lyrics or hear it again?

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am." replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

May was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, She received a call from the doctor's office telling her that her appointment had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. She had just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took

about 35 minutes, so she didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, She liked to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time she wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So, she rushed upstairs, threw off her pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave herself a quick wash in that area to make sure she was at least presentable. She threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to her appointment.

She was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when she was called in. Knowing the procedure, she hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that she was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. She was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?'

May didn't respond.

After the appointment, She heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of theday was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when her 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my washcloth?'

May told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my

glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet.."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They talk to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away..

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same- she stood there wearing the black panties,

and he was in his birthday suit-

but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences.."

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1P.M. And he hurried to make the beds,

Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher,

Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed.

At 9 P.M . He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -

'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.

I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'

Does anyone know this song that was on Mtv? It was on a yacht with them all dancing. The rappist was heavy set.(maybe heavy D or Notorious B.I.G.G??? and I think all were in white. I just remember it was such a cool fast song, heard it only once and have been trying to find out what it was ever since. I dont remember any of the lyrics tho.......

This has been racking my brain for about 10 years now? Anyone know the name of this song????????

It starts off with a phone ringing and a girl answers and she talks to this guy about coming over....He hangs up and the lyrics go something like this:::::

Up periscope, Up in you I creep, like a sub submerging I go deep to the motion of the ocean...., ??? feels the cranium pause, you know what is girl, drop them draws

I have tried all search engines, lyrics.com all them, anyone able to help????

I have long hair that I straighten everyday. If I dont it is just a frizz ball. Is there anything I can put in it or on it to make it better. I wash it about every other day, thinking that would help and use infusion hair conditioning, but it is still frizzy??

It starts off with a phone ringing and a girl answers and she talks to this guy about coming over....He hangs up and the lyrics go something like this:::::

Up periscope, Up in you I creep, like a sub submerging I go deep to the motion of the ocean...., ??? feels the cranium pause, you know what is girl, drop them draws

We cant afford adoption and dont want someone knocking on our door when they want to try again to be a parent! Is it illegal for someone to sign over a baby they do not want to keep? I hear such horror stories on abuse or even worse, when these babies could actually live a full, happy and thriving life with people like us that desperately want children, but cant, and those that have 3 or more children and dont want them. I would do anything to raise a child as my own, but be totally honest and upfront as to who they are and where they came from.