Meghan

The rules of what's acceptable and taboo have changed so much in even just the past 10 years, that I don't know what to wear to a wedding I'm going to in a couple of weeks. It's an evening wedding, and it's pretty formal by the sounds of it. If I'm not mistaking, the rule used to be that no one else except for the bride and flower girls could wear white and/or a train at a wedding. Unfortunately, the only thing I have to wear that's formal enough has a small train. I have an idea in mind of how to temporarily fix it if I need to.

My setup is new, and has been cycling for a few days. I know not to add a ton of fish right away, and to do it over time (get one or two at first, then wait a few weeks to add more). My aquarium is only 10 gallons, so I don't want to add too many fish. I'm going to put a Dwarf Gourami in it with a Cherry Shrimp, and perhaps some neon tetras (or) some other tetras that don't get large. The maximum number of fish I want in it, though, is about eight or so.

With that said, I understand that shrimp mainly eat what falls and collects at the bottom of the aquarium. I'm getting ready to buy my first fish to add, but I was curious as to when I should add the Cherry Shrimp. I've had a 55 gallon freshwater aquarium in the past, so I understand how to care for an aquarium, the chemical levels of the water, etc. However, I've never had any shrimp before. Since they mainly keep the tank clean and eat from the bottom, should I make that one of the last that I add to the tank, or one of the middle, such as the fourth or fifth added? I'm worried there wouldn't be enough junk at the bottom for it to thrive if it was the first added. I've definitely made up my mind to use a Cherry Shrimp eventually though...the Plecos get too big, etc. Also, this aquarium is not in a room that receives much light (not direct, or bright) throughout the day, so algae wouldn't grow too quickly.

Thanks for any advice :)

At her worst, she had 9 cats, 2 dogs, 2 birds, 2 guinea pigs, and who knows what else, at the same time. The cats were all indoor cats. Two litter boxes that were cleaned once every week or two...they were overflowing to the point the cats refused to do their duty in the litter boxes, which then prompted her to yell at the cats on the top of her lungs. I've even seen maggots in a covered litter box within the past several years. Many animals she has don't reach their half life even, and die of an unknown disease, because she doesn't take any of them to the vet. While they animals are fed, many have been skinny, have fur falling out, and all animals are flea infested like I've never seen before...I've seen layer upon layer of fleas on one of the dogs before, like an army of ants swarming a dropped piece of food on a sidewalk. When I used to visit, I'd come out with at least 40-50 flea bites on both of my legs. She makes excuses for the fleas, saying 'this year is particularly bad', as though she has forgotten or is in denial that EVERY year is particularly bad. The smell of the house is horrible...putrid. Once you enter, you're blown away with the smell of ammonia and feces. The floors are dirty. . .dirt is all over.

My better judgment would say that she is an animal hoarder, because part of that is not taking care of the medical needs of the pets she has. They have to 'die out'. She gives the excuse that she can't afford to take them to the vet. . .then why have so many animals? When one dies, she replaces it. She has the money to take care of a few, but she has a problem with managing her money and spends it on many other things. This puts me in another difficult situation. I have nothing to do with my mother because of other problems with our relationship over the years, but I'm worried she may try to get grandparent visitation rights when I have a child. I don't think she'd get it though, because we have no relationship long before the child would have been born. When we used to talk, she was very controlling, and she insisted on making a nursery at her home to have my child over. My husband and I don't want our child anywhere near her house when we have one.

What's also difficult, is how would I deal with the situation? Would any of you call the ASPCA or police on your own family, even if you didn't have a good relationship with them? My relationship with her has been really bad, on and off again for years, and I've never really felt close to her. Yet, because she's my mother, I still find it hard to report her. Is she an animal hoarder? She doesn't have over 50 or hundreds, like many do. I never really allowed my own pets to go to her house either, out of fear her animals have a contagious disease, and because I personally feel the conditional are deplorable. She has gotten a little upset about that in the past. What would you do, as an animal lover that takes good care of your own pets, but has a family member that you feel abuses their animals, whether the abuse is intentional or not? How would you deal with the rest of the family's reaction toward you if you reported that family member? I feel I'd be excommunicated by everyone.

I had an iPhone 3 until last April, and had no problems with taking good pictures. However, since I've had my htc, practically EVERY picture is out of focus. I'm aware of the different types of user errors, such as not touching the middle of the screen to focus, lighting problems (not enough, or too much), distance of the object, etc., etc. Those are not the problems. My husband and his family are photographers, and I've learned a lot through them of how to take good pictures. My husband also has problems taking pictures with my phone in focus.