zoemstof

I'm trying to stick it to the kids who are sticking it to the man by posting annoying flyers with terrible grammar. So I am obnoxiously correcting all the mistakes and sending it to them because I am a nasty nerd with no life. And I need help. Here is the phrase:

"...the students whom this institution is allegedly there to serve..."

Should that be whom? Or is it who? I don't want to nitpick incorrectly.

It's often for children, and very delicate, always white, completely see-through, incredibly gorgeous....? The embroidery is also tiny and elaborate and fine, usually just around the edges. I don't know if it has an official name, but it's so beautiful, I'd like to find some in my size.

I'll be living in the dorms... I do sew a lot, but I'm not sure it's worth it. How much will it weird my roommate out? How many people do bring their sewing machine with them?

Because I feel like there needs to be more than just a name.

Because I have to read it for class, and I'm trying to convince myself it has a plus side. What is the plus side? It was written by a guy who didn't speak English until he was 20!

Not like, black presidents. Presidents who have been elected to office, despite not having a majority of votes, because of the electoral college.

We called the school, and my mother told them some sort of sob story about me failing at applying to colleges (which is true) and somehow convinced them to let me turn in my application late. But now that I've written groveling letters to my counselor, English teacher, and administrator, I want to make sure I can still submit the common app part.

Is there some kind of thing where it automatically won't let you turn it in late? Because that would ruin my life.

Because my friends and I were planning on having a party at which we get drunk together, in order to avoid getting drunk for the first time in college and getting date-raped, but I have a dentist appointment the next day. I just would rather not have my dentist think I'm a raging teenage alcoholic or anything. So if I get drunk on Monday night (and let's just assume I'm going to get really, really tipsy), will I still have boozey breath or a raging hangover at 2 pm on Tuesday?

Also, for bonus points and a guaranteed 10 points, what is the song that plays?

It's marketed towards farmers, but I want a name like "Shamwow" or "Ped Egg." Something tacky and catchy. Any ideas?

Not scary-sounding songs, but a little more upbeat (or mellow, but not thrashy) songs about things like awesome vampires and zombies. Like Thriller. Ideally, I'd like to find a love song about fending off zombies together. But any input is welcome. Thanks in advance.

I mean, I consider myself pretty good at deciphering the nonsense, but seriously, WHAT does this mean?

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments."

??

P.S. Yeah, jaboola is a word I made up on the spot to avoid using the profanity I felt inside. In case you wondered.

I was thinking-I think I tend to go to school more often when I'm sick. but how do you decide if you're sick enough to warrant a sick day?

I thought it would be brown and delicious looking, but it's not. It is sort of cracking on top. And the recipe says to leave it in for an hour, but the pan I'm using is very wide and shallow, so i think the time will be less. Can i stick a toothpick in it or something? Help!

I'm looking for ultra-authentic 20's jazz, preferably dance-style. i need either song names or band names or really ingenious ways of finding music.

I need it for a Government project. And because I like to read things like that. But it would be a beautiful counterpart to my other articles about how Obama is not a Muslim and those statements are bogus, to have the original statement that he was brought up a practicing Muslim.

It's for an FFA meeting, so booze all over the walls is out. But what other ideas do you have to set that Prohibition-era mood? It can't be too expensive or too time-consuming. I'm lookign for a basic concept, or specific ideas. Help!

I am doing a worksheet for school, and I can't find a scene that really drives home the idea that true love can easily ruin everybody's life. Any suggestions?

I hear the moon sets at 1:30 and dawn begins to lighten the sky at 4:30. Is that correct? I also hear the the peak is from 4 am to 5 am. Is that also correct? Would it be juicy enough, meteor-wise, to watch from 3 to four, or is four to five vastly superior?

Olives are vegetables, right? Can I get away with it? it's a really chocolatey cake, so that would help.