Bubbajones

Have any of you ever stretched the truth just a little bit to make a question more interesting? I know that I have, just a tad... in one of my other questions I said I was in love with another woman, because I was looking for advice about divorcing my wife because we are miserable. Actually, I WANTED to be in love with someone else, so I would have more of a reason to be out... some people gave some good answers, and many avoided the controversy that I engendered. I want to be in the position where there is someone else. Because now my wife has committed physical abuse against me, and I now have a reason to leave... basically, I do not trust her, although she says the cycle of abuse has been broken. This was the icing on the cake, the last thing to break what I had felt...

Anyway... now I want to leave her because I no longer feel safe. But I did stretch the truth just a tad. I apologize. But it created the feedback I needed.

I have been married for 16 years. For at least half of it, it has been going downhill. I just recently came to the realization that I do not love my wife, and that I probably never did... I just married her because she was the first woman who pursued me, and after failed relationships I took what I could get.

Since my son was born 8½ years ago it has gotten progressively worse. When he was one year old, she hit me... hard. Then, three years ago, she hit me again. One year ago, AGAIN... then three weeks ago, a fourth time. She has gotten more angry. This last time she said it was my fault for making her so angry, and I just have to not make her angry.

I have also discovered that to control my son in public, she pinches him. Hard. Hard enough to bruise his arm or leg.

I want out. She's gotten more violent, her temper more out of control. I do not trust her, with me or with my son.

What would you do? Leave, or stay?

I am married, live in CT (obviously), and have been miserable for years. I am tired of my wife hurting me, tired of emotional abuse. Neither of us can give the other what we need. The difficulty is that we have an 8 year old son. His therapist said that staying in a marriage like ours will do him more damage than our separating.

As anyone can tell from my 360 page, I am madly in love with someone else. I am trying to figure out the best way to get out of this marriage and be with her, but it is hard figuring out how to do it with the least emotional damage. I no longer love my wife... but I still don't want to hurt her more than it will. She is the mother of my son, after all. I am NOT committed to this relationship. But every time I try to talk about it, my wife brings up religion as the trump card. She bludgeons me with it.

I need SERIOUS suggestions. Anyone who just wants two points, go somewhere else. Like my lady, I have no problem reporting nonanswers. Thank you.