Mel

My husband and I have been married for 2 years now and we both have children from previous marriages. I am especially close with my youngest daughter who is 9. She is going through a very clingy phase right now where she wants to spend a lot of time with me, which I do not mind at all. By the time I get off from work and pick her up from her dad's, we usually only have 3 hours tops to spend together before it's time for bed. My husband gets extremely jealous of this time we have together. He gets upset because I don't want to cuddle and spend time with him on the couch and watch TV. I offer to have him join in with my daughter and I while we're playing a board game or taking a walk, etc., and he refuses. As long as she is there, he just sits on his computer and plays his computer games so that he doesn't have to be involved. I'm afraid this is going to be a very serious problem that ends up affecting our marriage. What can I do?

By the way, my ex husband and I have joint custody of my daughter, so she is only with me 2 nights during the week and on weekends. Weekends don't really seem to be a problem because his kids are there also and the kids don't need as much one-on-one time. It's those weekday evenings that are always the problem.

What should I think?

My husband and I have been having serious problems lately. Today, while we weren't out and out fighting, we had a serious discussion about what we're going to do - whether we're going to stay together or separate. In part of the conversation, he looked straight at me and told me that even though he still loves me, he can't think of one single thing that he likes about me. He said he can't stand to be around me anymore.

Have you ever said anything like that to someone or had it said to you? Is there any way to get past it? All I keep thinking is that I just need to pack up and move on, but I keep holding out hope that he doesn't mean it. How do you stay with someone who doesn't even like you?

My husband was supposed to meet me after work yesterday to go out to dinner and a play. He gets off work earlier than I do, so he was having to kill time while waiting on me. He was at his office (he is the only one there) playing on the computer, watching TV, etc. He's supposed to show up at 5 to meet me. At 5:15 I call him, and he hasn't even left his office yet (his office is 20 minutes away from me) and tells me that he's been chatting with a woman from work on the phone (she's at a different location). He insists it was a "business" call, but he had been on the phone with her for 30-45 minutes and just completely left me stranded without a phone call or anything. When I get mad about it, he throws it in my face that he was sitting around waiting on me, so it wouldn't hurt me to have to wait on him. He then gets mad and decides to go on home, without even telling me. So I sit at my office waiting on him for about 30 minutes before I realize he's not showing up. I went on to the dinner and play alone. When I got home, he had dead-bolted the door so I couldn't get in. I finally got him to let me in. Of course, we had words about that, along with him standing me up to talk to some woman on the phone for 45 minutes. Then, this morning, he has changed all of his passwords on his email accounts and has deleted me as a friend from his facebook. This is my HUSBAND and he deletes me as a friend on facebook. What the heck is going on? What do you think?

To show that those who believe that abortion is wrong are NOT in a minority, today is the day to make your stand.

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, Staples, or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to:

President Barack Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW

Washington, D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message:

This envelope respresents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world.

All envelopes will be mailed out on March 31, 2009.

I'm getting my envelopes ready, how about you?

To read more on the Freedom of Choice Act that Obama supports, go to:

http://www.lifenews.com/nat4359.html

http://www.barackobama.com/2008/01/22/obama_statem...

http://www.jillstanek.com/archives/2008/07/one_yea...

My husband spends a lot of time on his new laptop computer. The other night he sat in his recliner with the laptop from 6:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. straight. This annoys me to no end, but he doesn't understand why I'm annoyed by it. Honestly, I'm not sure how to describe why I'm annoyed by it either. Would it annoy you? (Men and women's viewpoints would be appreciated). And if it would annoy you, why?

My husband spends a lot of time on his new laptop computer. The other night he sat in his recliner with the laptop from 6:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. straight. This annoys me to no end, but he doesn't understand why I'm annoyed by it. Honestly, I'm not sure how to describe why I'm annoyed by it either. Would it annoy you? (Men and women's viewpoints would be appreciated). And if it would annoy you, why?

My husband had an office Christmas get-together with his work yesterday. He works in a different town from the corporate office, so he had to travel about an hour to get to this event. It was during the day (3:00 p.m.) and was supposed to last until 4:00 p.m. Now, our church is getting ready for a Christmas show on Sunday and I am doing a skit for the show and was going to be rehearsing for it at our church last night at 6:30 p.m. My husband told me that he would come to help us with the skit (he does the lights, sound, etc.) and would meet us there. After the party was over at 4, he had a little time to kill in order to arrive at our church on time, so he decided to go with a 'couple of buddies from work' over to a restaurant while he waited. (Or so he told me when he called.)

At around 6, I called him on my way to the church to see if he was on his way (it would take him about an hour to get there, so he should have been well on his way). He was still at this "restaurant" (which ended up being a bar) and was drinking with various men and women from his work. By the way, he had originally specifically said there were no women there at all - only a couple of guys. He ended up not being able to come to help at the church and wasn't even apparently planning to call and tell me that. The only way I knew he wasn't coming was because I happened to call him.

I am very upset by this, for a variety of reasons. Would you be upset? And if so, what part(s) of this would upset you?

My husband had an office Christmas get-together with his work yesterday. He works in a different town from the corporate office, so he had to travel about an hour to get to this event. It was during the day (3:00 p.m.) and was supposed to last until 4:00 p.m. Now, our church is getting ready for a Christmas show on Sunday and I am doing a skit for the show and was going to be rehearsing for it at our church last night at 6:30 p.m. My husband told me that he would come to help us with the skit (he does the lights, sound, etc.) and would meet us there. After the party was over at 4, he had a little time to kill in order to arrive at our church on time, so he decided to go with a 'couple of buddies from work' over to a restaurant while he waited. (Or so he told me when he called.)

At around 6, I called him on my way to the church to see if he was on his way (it would take him about an hour to get there, so he should have been well on his way). He was still at this "restaurant" (which ended up being a bar) and was drinking with various men and women from his work. By the way, he had originally specifically said there were no women there at all - only a couple of guys. He ended up not being able to come to help at the church and wasn't even apparently planning to call and tell me that. The only way I knew he wasn't coming was because I happened to call him.

I am very upset by this, for a variety of reasons. Would you be upset? And if so, what part(s) of this would upset you?

I just got three in the last month. This sucks. Anybody beat that? Please share your story and make me feel better.

Ok, the other day he and I decided to engage in intimate activities in the middle of the day. I was doing things for him, so to speak, when I heard a car coming up our driveway and the dog barking. I, of course, wanted to stop so I could go see who had pulled in. He insisted that I keep going and that it was probably nothing. I kept going but I was a little peeved about it because I thought it was really rude of him to want that so badly that I couldn't even go see if we had company. He said it would have been rude to him for me to have stopped and that anyone would agree with him. So, what do you say?

(By the way, there WAS someone in our driveway. They were coming to pick something up that I had left outside for them - thinking that I wouldn't be home when they arrived - but they didn't end up coming to the door. They said they figured we were busy since we didn't come outside when we heard the car and the dog barking.)

Ok, the other day he and I decided to engage in intimate activities in the middle of the day. I was doing things for him, so to speak, when I heard a car coming up our driveway and the dog barking. I, of course, wanted to stop so I could go see who had pulled in. He insisted that I keep going and that it was probably nothing. I kept going but I was a little peeved about it because I thought it was really rude of him to want that so badly that I couldn't even go see if we had company. He said it would have been rude to him for me to have stopped and that anyone would agree with him. So, what do you say?

(By the way, there WAS someone in our driveway. They were coming to pick something up that I had left outside for them - thinking that I wouldn't be home when they arrived - but they didn't end up coming to the door. They said they figured we were busy since we didn't come outside when we heard the car and the dog barking.)

In his question, he asked what he should do about the fact that his wife has "become a prude" and that she is not "all over him" like she was when they were dating. Should I be upset about this? Any other wives have this problem?

Why does this upset me so much? He's a good man now - he is very involved and active in our church, he's a devoted father and husband. I knew his past included many sexual partners but I never knew that he had actually paid for some of them. Why does it bother me so much when I know it was his past. It was 20 years ago at least - and, of course, it was before me - but it still hurts. Why do you think that is?

Our kids are 13, 11, 10, and 8 this year. We're pretty sure all of them are past the Santa days, except for the youngest one. Should I go ahead and break it to her, or let her be a kid for as long as she can be? It's hard when you have 3 who don't believe and 1 who does. Does anyone have any examples to share about their kids finding out about the big guy?

I am not pregnant, so this is not a breastfeeding issue. I noticed this morning that there is blood coming out of one of my nipples. It is also sore and hurting. Any idea what this could be?

I'm trying to look over some questions that I answered and it's not letting me look at this one particular question. I went into my husband's account to see if he could view it (to see if the question had been deleted or something) and his account could view it just fine. What's up?

Just curious - do you celebrate this milestone, or wait for the year anniversary?

I am divorced and have joint custody with my children's father. My 8-year-old daughter has just recently told me that her daddy "throws things" at her and her 10-year-old brother (like the remote and the cordless phone) and that he has punched her in her arm and her leg before. What would you take as a first step?

(I know she is telling the truth - that's not an issue. He was like that when I was married to him, I just didn't realize he was being like that with the kids.)

Also - to add a little more detail. Their father is disabled. He has muscular dystrophy, which affects his legs and ability to "catch" the kids if they try to get away from him when they are in trouble, which explains why he feels it necessary to throw things at them. I'm not condoning this in any way, just trying to better explain the situation.

I am divorced and have joint custody with my children's father. My 8-year-old daughter has just recently told me that her daddy "throws things" at her and her 10-year-old brother (like the remote and the cordless phone) and that he has punched her in her arm and her leg before. What would you take as a first step?

(I know she is telling the truth - that's not an issue. He was like that when I was married to him, I just didn't realize he was being like that with the kids.)

Also - to add a little more detail. Their father is disabled. He has muscular dystrophy, which affects his legs and ability to "catch" the kids if they try to get away from him when they are in trouble, which explains why he feels it necessary to throw things at them. I'm not condoning this in any way, just trying to better explain the situation.