Doctor Happy

You may list as many reasons as you wish...I just want to know.

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.

Self-explanatory

2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.

Not very generous

3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.

All talk and no action

4. WE'VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN'T SHOOK YET.

We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.

5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.

He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

6. IT'S SO DRY THE TREES ARE BRIBIN' THE DOGS.

We really could use a little rain around here.

7. JUST BECAUSE A CHICKEN HAS WINGS DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN FLY.

Appearances can be deceptive.

8. THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.

I've done this before.

9. HE LOOKS LIKE THE DOG'S BEEN KEEPIN' HIM UNDER THE PORCH.

Not the most handsome of men.

10. THEY ATE SUPPER BEFORE THEY SAID GRACE.

Living in sin.

11. TIME TO PAINT YOUR BUTT WHITE AND RUN WITH THE WHITE TAILS.

Stop arguing and do as you're told.

12. AS FULL OF WIND AS A CORN-EATING HORSE.

Rather prone to boasting.

13. YOU CAN PUT YOUR BOOTS IN THE OVEN BUT THAT DON’T MAKE’M BISCUITS.

You can say whatever you want about something, but doesn't

change what it is.

14. WE'RE IN TALL COTTON.

Things are going well

15. IF YOU CAN"T RUN WITH THE BIG DOGS…STAY ON THE PORCH!

Move your behind and get busy or get out of my way...

16. SHE CAN'T HELP BEIN' UGLY, BUT SHE COULD'A STAYED HOME!

(Make your own explanation)

Two cobbers decide to go “waltzing matilda.” So the two ockers packed two eskies: one with tucker for the barbie and the other with a slab of VB.

Then the two yobbos began walking off beyond the black stump…back of Bourke.

Hours and hours pass before the two wankers finally find a nice billabong under the shade of a coolibah tree.

After settling down, the two mullets realize they had forgotten a thingy to open the amber nectar.

Skip says, "Crikey! Why don't you go back and get it and I'll stay here."

But Roger responds, "Buckley’s! If I go back and get it, then by the time I get back you'll have eaten all the grub."

As he gives his Aussie salute to the bities and blowies, Skip replies, "Don’t chuck a spaz! I won't touch them, dinkie-di."

So Roger agrees to give it a gobful and bails out.

A few hour pass, then a few more. Meanwhile Skip patiently waits till his billy boils while listening to the cookaburra laugh in the old gum tree.

Finally it is pretty late, so Skip opens his swag, lays out his matilda, and gets some zeds.

Around the next sparrow’s fart, Skip was hungry so decided to shove some grub down his tucker chute.

Skip opened the tucker bag and began to eat a sanger when suddenly the Tazwegian pops his head up from behind a rock and says, "Holy Dooley! I knew it! I'm not freakin' goin'!!!!"

Christians, I have heard this phrase used a lot...

"It is easier to seek forgiveness than it is permission!"

However, is it a good Christian practice?

What are your thoughts?

This can be anything, a family heirloom or secret recipe, one that is fun with children, or your parent's or spouse's favourite...or even your wildest recipe. It can be completely home made or semi-home made and can be any course. It can be traditional American or any ethnic cuisine recipe.

My wife and I are looking for something new to try for a special family get-together and would appreciate any thing you have to offer. We are an international family so do not be shy!

Thank you for your help!

Ok…so this is my last one…

I was condu

Ok…so this is my last one…

I was conducting a seminar on Personal Safety and Security Awareness for some United Nations staff members (about 3000 total, but only about 50 at a time!). I was conducting the seminars in their local language of Tetum.

Everything was going well, until I started talking about various methods to relieve stress in a declared danger zone. I was explaining that exercise like lifting weights is a great stress reliever. Well, the Tetum word for lifting weights is “heet besi” heet = lift; besi = metal.

Unfortunately for me…I accidentally used a different Tetum word, “het”. My embarrassing mistake is that “het” is street slang for sex…similar to our f***.

So, I told them that they can have sex with metal. The attendees got a very good laugh at my expense…and I got an embarrassing reminder of just exactly how human I am.

Ok…so please share with us your embarrassing foreign language goofs!

Many years ago, when I was learning the languages of both Bahasa Indonesia and Tetum (East Timor)...I made a few mistakes, one of which I include here for your laughs:

I was shopping with my wife in East Timor when I saw some tea on the selves, so I decided to ask my wife if her mother needed any tea. I asked the question in my wife’s native tongue of Tetum. However, I accidentally used the Indonesian word for tea instead. The problem is that the Indonesian word for tea is “teh”…but this word has a totally different meaning in Tetum. The word “teh” in Tetum means…uhmmm…to poo!

So, rather than asking my wife, “Does your mother need some tea?” I accidentally asked her, “Does your mother need to poo?” When she gave that goofy look as if to imply “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” I asked her again…only louder…in case she did not hear me the first time…”DOES YOUR MOTHER NEED TO POO?” Her angry look on her face caused me to realize that I had spoken something incorrectly. By the time that I had realized my mistake…it was too late…the damage had already been done!

Oops!

So, tell me…have any of you made any similar goofs?

Many years ago, when I was learning the languages of both Bahasa Indonesia and Tetum (East Timor)...I made a few mistakes, one of which I include here for your laughs:

I was in East Timor South East Asia near Indonesia and Australia) and visited a local restaurant in the coffee growing mountains and wanted some milk. The Tetum word for milk is “susun ben”. So I asked in Tetum if the very sexy young waitress had any milk, or so I thought, anyway. I accidentally substituted the Bahasa Indonesian word for milk instead. Which is just “susu”. The word “susun” (very similar sounding) in Tetum means breast; the word “ben” means juice. So, susun ben literally means “juice of the breast”.

So, I actually asked this very sexy young waitress if she had any breasts! When she did not answer, I even repeated my question a little louder this time, in case she did not hear me the first time! Then I told her that I wanted breasts! The surprised look on her face caused me to realize that I had spoken something incorrectly. By the time that I had realized my mistake…it was too late…the damage had already been done!

Needless to say, I was very embarassed!

Oops!

So, tell me…have any of you made any similar goofs? Please share them with us now!

I will share another one later.

Does anyone know the song that includes the following lyrics:

I would trade all the gold and silver for just one crown of thorns

or something to that affect. I think that it may be country gospel, I am not sure.

Thank you everyone for your help.

Does anyone know the song that includes the following lyrics:

I would trade all the gold and silver for just one crown of thorns

or something to that affect. I think that it may be country gospel, I am not sure.

Thank you everyone for your help.

Does anyone know the song that includes the following lyrics:

I would trade all the gold and silver for just one crown of thorns

or something to that affect. I think that it may be country gospel, I am not sure.

Thank you everyone for your help.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a legitimate question about Christianity, the atheists find it necessary to respond with such vicious attacks against Christianity?

By the way, that it NOT tolerance, as many of you on YA! Claim to be. Rather it is hate-mongering and hypocritical!

So, why can’t you just be as tolerant as you claim and allow Christians to ask and answer their questions without your hate filled attacks?

Christians, feel free to join in.