kingofallbaxters

OK, so I'm a grown up with 3 kids, one of whom is severely disabled.

I suffer from Social Anxiety which I have struggled with for as long as I can remember.

Every time I try to make a change in my life something immediately happens to try and push me back to unhappiness.

For example, last month I vowed not to get wound up by other people. The same day I took my kids to their usual karate lesson and on my return a stranger had parked in our driveway! Which meant I had to carry my disabled son a long way away to our house from another space down the road, then look for the idiot who had parked in our drive and get him to move.This never happened before I tried to make this change in my life and hasn't happened since. Yet every time I try to change my life for the better something like this happens. Does life really not want me to change my life for the better?

Every morning I walk my 8 yr old son to school. If I see someone I know I say good morning and every day I get minimal ,if any, response. If I go to school meetings I sit alone. If I pick my son up from school I stand alone.

I guess it never really bothered me, in fact in a strange way it was almost like being back at school, the popular ones surrounded by their buddies, the wannabes desperately scanning the playground for a face they know, and the loners.

The reason it now bothers me is that yesterday I had a companion who was taking her sons to school at the same time she got buttonholed by an acquaintance who I know vaguely so I said Good Morning! I was completely ignored, I repeated myself and she walked off! My companion was obviously embarrased by her friends behaviour ,but, said nothing.

It struck me then, that this wasn't the first time, spouses of work colleagues, parents of children my son plays with, neighbours

All say nothing,or look uncomfortable talking to me.

Help.

I just saw someone I went to school with. He was a bully, a thief (he has convictions for housebreaking) and was generally antisocial. He was driving a large BMW SUV into the driveway of his very large house. Somebody told me he owns his own building business. I thought people who did bad things weren't supposed to prosper. I hadn't heard that he'd changed his ways or tried to make amends for his former behaviour, so, whats going on?

I've been told that skipping is very good cardio vascular exercise. However, it looks a bit silly skipping in the normal way. I have tried skipping like a boxer but can't get the knack (I keep trying to jump double time too).

Any help appreciated.

Cheers,

Andy B