justme

I tried to kill my self just before xmas 05

was admitted to hospital for 6 weeks and came out on a lot of diffrent drugs and many diffrent councillers to talk to

the people aroubf me are very supportive but I cant tell them how im feeling now coz they will think they are doing something wrong or waisted their time to begin with

but I still cant get it out of my head

all i think about everyday is dying and how I can do it

I need to change way im thinking but i cant work out how to do it

sort of feel like i cant die now coz they will feel cheated but i feel cheated that I should have to put their needs first if that makes any sence

ok last year I tried to kill myself twice

as you can tell it didnt work

both my parents have passed away and I nursed them throught there sickness and till they took there last breath

after that my marrage broke down and I got divorced and I lost my job and everyone I knew turned there back on me

so finally I came to the decission that I was better off not here ... so I tryed first with 30 tabs then with 60 tabs

I was booked into a phyic ward and put on a large does of anyi depressents and see concillors reg

now things are looking a bit better

Im back with my husband and feel better

although everyone else still hates me

Im still always scared and still want to die ever day

why cant I just be happy

why do I still want to die so badly

I cant tal;k to anyone coz they think Im better now and if i tell them how i really feel they will be anrgy

help please

when you have a family history of cancer isnt there some sort of regester that you can go on

if anyone knows anything about this can you please give me some details

I am a capricorn and ny husband is a gemini

we hace two children both cuss badies

daughter is libra/ vergo

son is sagutarris/scoropio

anythin you can tell me about my family