why do I feel so bad again , it has been 12 months now and its all starting to fee lost again but I dont know?

GO directly back to your doctor and tell him the meds are not working....then talk to him about better counseling also.

I agree with Tuffy, you need to take your butt back to the doctor who's prescribing your medications and not only tell them that the medications aren't helping but also get a referral to a different counselor. I'm curious to know what medication they put you on. I know that Prozac is prescribed often to people and after being on it for a certain amount of time they feel great then all of a sudden one day it's like your body becomes immune to it and doesn't work anymore. Do you mind sharing what medication(s) you're currently on? Also when it comes to your family... now is the time you need their support the most especially with you sinking back into your unhealthy state of mind. Talk to them... Open up to them... I don't know the whole situation but I'm sure things will turn out fine. Altering the way your mind thinks takes a lot of willpower and in some cases I believe a lot of behavioral therapy. Good Luck

I too tried to commit suicide 7 months ago. I spent a week in intensive care clinging to life. After recovering, I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital for more help and medicine. When I got out, I went to counseling for some time. My family was really supportive. A few months ago I too started to feel lost and scared, despite the medicine. I talked to my family and they continued to be there for me. I also started to cling to the things that meant the most to me, and made me feel good. Please talk to the ones who have supported you. They will understand! Depression is an extremely hard disease to overcome. Use every resorce you can think of. Find the things that mean the most to you and hold on to them tight. Talk!!! You are loved !!! I am surviving and recovering. I never thought I would make it but It does get better. Hold on, you can do it too! .Fight with everything you have. TALK AND GET HELP! You can beat this! You are alot stronger than you think! You are Loved and Needed!!!!!!

It is wonderful that you are concerned about how your death would affect those people that have rallied around you. That alone is an indication that your life is worth living.

As has been said, run do not walk back to your doctors and counselors and simply tell them, "people this ain't working but I want it to. What can we do differently."

All the best to you. LIVE.

You are a very caring person and don't deserve to die. Tell your doctor exactly how you are feeling so that he can help you and keep caring about those that support and care about you .