Iris

My boyfriend and I have been together a long time and we're in a happy, stable relationship. Lately, he's been going through some really stressful things at work and some stressful things with his family, his mom in particular.

When he gets stressed he just shuts down, gets quiet. I know a lot of guys are that way. Trouble is, I don't know how to help. I've comforted lots of female friends in my lifetime, but I really don't have much experience like this with guys. I occasionally ask him how things are going, and he updates me, but he doesn't ask me for anything or talk about his feelings. I try not to bring it up often because I don't want to pester him or accidentally make the stress worse.

Guys... is there anything I can do to lighten his burden? Any ideas of how I can show him support would be much appreciated.

My bf and I are in our mid 20's, have been dating for a long time. We rarely argue, but when we do it tends to get heated. We're both passionate people, so that's fine I guess. It's happened a couple of times now that I've come to the point of tears during an argument (I'm not normally quick to cry, but I've been under a lot of stress lately and I guess I'm just more on edge the past couple of weeks). Not that I'm sobbing hugely or anything, but visibly and audibly crying. The weird thing is... this seemed to annoy the hell out of my boyfriend when it happened. Which seems like an odd response to me, so today I decided to just ask him about it. He said that when I cry during an argument, it interrupts the flow of conversation and that's frustrating to him. He says he needs me to participate in the conversation and instead we have to wait for me to sniffle, etc, and then repeat ourselves if the crying interrupts a sentence. He said when I cry, he feels I've just checked out of the conversation and the argument may as well be over, so it makes him mad.

Um... what?? I mean just to be clear, I've never refused to continue a conversation because I got teary. And yeah, if I got sniffly we may have had to repeat ourselves a couple of times, but does that really matter?

It just sounds really bizarre to me. Am I missing something here? Guys... is that normal?

For a poem. I'm stuck! Thanks!

I sponsor a little girl in India through Compassion International. It's a program that helps her go to school and get medical attention that she would not get otherwise. Also, we get to write letters back and forth to each other. She's a sweet girl, and I want to send her something for Christmas. We can't send anything that changes the shape of the package - we can only send something flat. I was thinking of sending her a nice leather bookmark that I found in a bookstore. It has bright colors, and I think she would like it. But since it's leather, would that be a problem? I don't want to accidentally offend her. I know cows are revered in India. Anyone know if they use leather in India, and if this would offend her or not?

Thanks!!

Anyone have a recipe for natural, healthy holiday treats I can make for my dog (so that family members give her those instead of scraps!)?

So lately I don't know why, but I'm crazy about sweet potatos. I bake them and sprinkle them with cinnamon - very yummy. But I actually don't know much about them. Does anyone know, from a nutritional standpoint, how healthy they are? I've had 3 this week. Is it a healthy snack, or should I be careful not to overdo it?

Any serious advice would be SO appreciated. Sorry in advance that this is so long.

My ex and I broke up a couple of months ago. He lives with one of my closest friends. The reason we broke up is not worth writing down, but it's enough to say he did something so bad that I wanted nothing to do with him ever again after that. On top of which, afterwards, I learned that he had been cheating on me. So I want nothing to do with him, and I have (politely, and then later less politely) made this clear to him. I even changed my phone number so that he would stop calling me. But he got ahold of my new number (without question from the caller id in his apartment since he lives with one of my best friends), and now he is calling my new number. I've frozen him out for TWO MONTHS and he is still trying to contact me. I've been thinking lately that he and I should make our peace so that it would be less awkward if we ever run into each other, because of our mutual friends. ..... (cont below)

I'm making a costume for a masquerade ball this Saturday. It's a water-sprite costume. I'm making a panel skirt for the bottom which needs to flow gracefully. I don't have a pattern and no way to get one soon enough. I think I can handle the measurements, shape, etc... But how do I cut the fabric? I know that sometimes you have to cut against the way the fabric is made (ie, "on the bias") but I haven't done this in a long time and I'm not quite sure how to do it. Do I need to cut at an angle across the bias? Can anyone describe to me how to cut it? Thank you so much!

I forgot to get more dog food today at the store! I have some leftover tuna cassarole from earlier today that I could give her - simple ingredients, pasta, cheese, milk, tuna, and diced tomatos. Is it ok to give that to a dog?

I have a 1 year old basset hound who weighs about 35 lbs. Right now she's at a healthy weight for her size (for a basset she's pretty petite), but I know that you have to watch bassets carefully, and lately she seems to be filling out a little. I've always let her eat whatever she wanted as a puppy, but now that she's older I want to make sure she gets the right amount of food - not too much or too little. Does anyone know of a good way to measure a dog's food? Do you go by their weight? Thanks!!

Does anyone know of something I can do to keep toads out of my yard? I have a dog out there, so it would have to be puppy-safe. Thanks guys!

Every time I argue with my boyfriend at night I end up falling asleep to dream that I'm in a dressing room putting on 20's style pantyhose and can't get the seam straight. Exact same dream every time. Any guess as to why that happens?

Does anyone know whether there is a difference between a cheap pap smear at a clinic and the expensive one at your doctor's office? Is one different or more accurate than the other?

Men: How often do you look at porn? Why do you need it? If your girlfriend or wife told you it bothered her, how would you respond?

Women: What's your opinion of porn? Why?

In couples that look at porn together, how do you think it affects the relationship?

Just curious people's opinions on this very controversial issue!

A friend I don't know very well told me that she got into a car accident yesterday, was taken to the emergency room for a fractured leg, that they had to do minor surgery to re-set the bones correctly, but she was sent home that night with Vicodin and today didn't take any pain meds at all. Doctors: Does that sound plausible? Or is it possible she's making it up?

Thanks!

A friend told me today that in her opinion almost all men are crazy about porn, whether or not they admit it, and won't be willing to give it up for any girl no matter how amazing she is. She said that men are more likely to lie and say they've stopped watching it to make a girl happy, than to actually stop. Basically she said it's something guys "can't" give up, even if they're having sex every day with their partner. I was just wondering... is that true?

My basset hound's eyes are red and her nose is dry and warm even though she's been awake quite a while. She's acting normal but I'm concerned. I know bassets get a lot of ear infections - could this be a sign of infection, or any other sickness? Or am I worried over nothing? Please help! Thanks!

I want to take Sudaphed for congestion, but I need to stay awake tonight, and I know that it either wakes you up or puts you to sleep, and I just can't remember which one! Does anybody know?

I have two guy friends that keep coming on to me even though they know I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend and things are great with him and I'm NOT intrested in these other guys... but one of them has come onto me like 3 times recently, and the other one has done it too many times to count. Both of these guys are good friends and awesome to hang out with and talk to... but I'm so frustrated at this point, I don't know what to do. I've been really clear that I am not interested, that I love my boyfriend and don't cheat... but they still keep trying.

I really don't understand this about men. I read one time that the average guy has to be told "no" 7 times before he takes it seriously. What's the deal with guys?