I'm crazy 4 God

My laptop keeps breacking link to the wireless adpter and nothing have try has worked ' help"

The best church song ever!

> While watching a little TV on Sunday instead of going to

> church, I

> watched a church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior

> pastors who had

> been retired many years.

>

> He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the church even

> bothered to ask

> the old gentleman to preach at that age.

>

> After a warm welcome, introduction of this speaker, and as

> the applause

> quieted down, he rose from his high back chair and walked

> slowly, with

> great effort and a sliding gate to the podium. Without a

> note or written

> paper of any kind he placed both hands on the pulpit to

> steady himself

> and then quietly and slowly he began to speak....

>

> "When I was asked to come here today and talk to you,

> your pastor asked

> me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in

> my 50-odd

> years of preaching. I thought about it for a few days and

> boiled it down

> to just one thing that made the most difference in my life

> and sustained

> me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always

> rely on when

> tears and heartbreak and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed

> me... the

> only thing that would comfort was this verse........ ..

>

> "Jesus loves me this I know.

> For the Bible tells me so.

> Little ones to Him belong,

> we are weak but He is strong.....

> Yes, Jesus loves me...

> The Bible tells me so.."

>

> When he finished, the church was quiet. You actually could

> hear his foot

> steps as he shuffled back to his chair. I don't believe

> I will ever

> forget it. A pastor once stated, "I always noticed

> that it was the

> adults who chose the children's hymn 'Jesus Loves

> Me' (for the children

> of course) during a hymn sing, and it was the adults who

> sang the loudest

> because I could see they knew it the best."

>

> "Senior version of Jesus Loves Me"

>

> Here is a new version just for us who have white hair or no

> hair at all.

> For us over middle age (or even those almost there) and all

> you others,

> check out this newest version of Jesus Loves Me.

>

> JESUS LOVES ME

>

> Jesus loves me, this I know,

> Though my hair is white as snow

> Though my sight is growing dim,

> Still He bids me trust in Him.

> (CHORUS)YES, JESUS LOVES ME..

> YES, JESUS LOVES ME..

> YES, JESUS LOVES ME,

> FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

>

> Though my steps are oh, so slow,

> With my hand in His I'll go

> On through life, let come what may,

> He'll be there to lead the way.

> (CHORUS)

>

> When the nights are dark and long,

> In my heart He puts a song..

> Telling me in words so clear,

> "Have no fear, for I am near."

> (CHORUS)

>

> When my work on earth is done,

> And life's victories have been won.

> He will take me home above,

> Then I'll understand His love.(CHORUS)

>

> I love Jesus, does He know?

> Have I ever told Him so?

> Jesus loves to hear me say,

> That I love Him every day.

> (CHORUS)

> If you think this is neat, please pass it on to your

> friends. If you do

> not pass it on, nothing bad will happen, but you will have

> missed an

> opportunity to "reach out and touch" a friend or

> a loved one. God Bless

> Us All

Did you know that Comcast removing religious networks from cable!. and

soon you will be able to to find your favorite programs on cable. and that you'll have to pay more to find God on the dish network

what if Paris Hilton joined the LDS/Mormon would inprove the church or here

I am thinking about start a support group for people with hart disease in yahoo groups

Do you thing people will be interested ?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.

Stranded

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day, a beautiful

girl swims to shore in a wetsuit... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."

Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been

since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been 10 years!" With this information

the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.

Man: "Oh, thank you so much!" Girl: "So tell me how long it's been since you

had a drink?" Man: "It's been 10 years." The girl unzips a longer zipper on

her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whisky and gives the man a

drink. Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!" Girl:

[Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long

has it been since you played around?" Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me

you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 PM. Eastern Time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslim Terrorists, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife. This effort will also show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof that you are not a Muslim Terrorist.

The American government appreciates your effort and great sacrifice to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.

God bless America.

One day there was a man walking through the woods and came accross a bear...a big hungery looking bear! The man froze dead in his tracks hopeing that the bear didn't see him,and to try to figure out what to do next. The bear saw him and started after him...the man bolted thinking that he could outrun this bear but soon started to realize that he was not in very good shape like he used to be. He looked back and saw the bear was gaining on him so he started to weave in and out of trees,sliding down reviens, running around big rocks and just couldn't shake this bear.He knew at this time that he was bear meat, but thought that he would run down to the river and try to make it to the rappids in hopes that he could get away that way.So he gave it his very best, he ran and ran as fast as he could and looked back just before he got to the river bank thinking that he was going to make it just to see the bear in mid air comming down on him;landing on him with such force that it knocked the air right out of him! The bear was on top of him now with both paws on his shoulders and sitting on his legs crushing them with the enormous wieght of this animal.The bear was drouling and had raised one paw to give the finale blow!! At that time the man yelled out,"OH GOD SAVE ME!"Just as he said that the bear froze in mid swipe,the river stoped,the wind had stoped blowing, and the man thought this can't be happening am I dead? Just as he said that there was this thundering voice that said "ALL THIS TIME YOU HAVE DENIED MY EXISTENCE AND RIDICULE ALL THOSE THAT BELEIVED IN ME,AND NOW IN YOUR TIME OF DISPARE YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CALL OUT MY NAME!YOU WANT ME TO SAVE YOU? WELL I'LL TELL YOU, I'LL SAVE YOU IF YOU ANNOUNCE YOUR FAITH IN ME TO ALL THAT YOU KNOW AND ALL THAT YOU MEET FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS!" Well the man thought about this for a minute and said to himself that he would be the laughing stock for the rest of his life if he did this and that he would be better dead,BUT then he thought he was slick and said to GOD,"Well I am not worthy of this and asked god if he could just make the bear a christian. GOD said "IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT THEN SO BE IT!" Then the river started to flow again and the wind blew accross his face and the bear stoped for a minuet and looked at the man, The man said "please Mr.bear find it in your hart to let me go?" The bear just gruntted and raised one paw then the other and the man thought he was gettin out of this, then the bear put both paws together and said,"thank you lord for this meal that i'm about to have!!!"AMEN

Prayers for Women and Men

Female Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong,

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to, "How big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

and always be my very best friend.

Amen.

Male Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac

with big boobs who owns

a liquor store and a boat.

This doesn't rhyme and

I don't give a "_____".

Amen.

The government has finally released

the ingredients in Viagra...

Vitamin E 3%

Ibuprofen 2%

Spray Starch 8%

Fix-A-Flat 87%

ok folk just to ask a dum question do you think theres intelligent life on earth!. should just give up looking?

and just watch talk show and reality tv

Are there Presbyterians Single Utah and what part ?.

What is my worst fear is finding a 18 yr old good looking virgin that want to come to Utah Usa and have sex ???

LOL

life is full of the good and the bad and how we

learn how to handle it is how gain wisdom and strangth and makes us the people we are on the road of life.

how live's in Utah and non LDS and relly dose'nt Want to Be LDS