steven d

That is not currently being made, but would help make your life better or easier right now,

What would it be?

Please give this some thought and only give real answers.

There is a Plum tree in downtown San Jose, California that produces the most delicious purple Plums I've ever tasted. However, for the past few years now about 20 - 25% of the leaves on the tree come out shriveled and sickly-looking. What might cause this, and what can I do to help this Plum tree?

I've seen many WW2 films made that have either represented the Nazi resistance efforts and/or the saving of the Jewish people in the countries of America, Germany, Russia, Italy, and even Belorussia (Now Belarus), but have not yet seen one that has represented Poland during the holocaust. Considering these facts that "The Polish resistance movement fought against the occupation of Poland (1939–1945) during World War II. And, The fight against the Nazi occupation of Poland was an important part of the European anti-fascist resistance movement and had the largest partisan army in occupied Europe. Furthermore, It is most notable for disrupting German supply lines to the Eastern Front, provision of military intelligence to the British, and for saving more Jewish lives in the Holocaust than any other Allied organization or government. It was a part of the Polish Underground State," I would think that a good film could be made about Poland during this time period.

The 'Windows Security Alert' says that my computer is infected with viruses, and it gives me the option to 'Clean All.'

However, when I click the 'Run' button, I receive another warning that the source of the program has an unverified signature. Has anyone else run into this? Is it a legitimate alert or is someone attempting to access my computer?

Then, there is only an attachment to be opened in the email. I got one of these and just wondered if it was a scam or is it safe?

That in American T.V. and Movies, alien beings, like in War of the worlds, Independence Day, and the Star trek series, who rape planets of their resources are depicted as ruthless and evil creatures who need to be exterminated, while we as humans are doing exactly that to our own planet earth?

She seemed a little intoxicated, and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers, and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers looked at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but most of us men...are always men.

I'm just considering getting one done, and would like to hear from the y/a community on this.

I mean, when you're speaking to someone, and you can't help but notice that the person's breath stinks, is that a turn-off for you?

That the man who invented the dance known as the Hokey Pokey died recently? Sad, I know. I also heard that the workers at the funeral home had allot of trouble with his body. You see, they put his right foot in and his right foot came out.... and, well, I think you know the rest.

An elderly man in Meridian Mississippi, George Phillips, was going up to bed, when his wife told him he'd left the garden shed light on, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the Police who asked, "Is someone in your house?" He said, "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me." The police dispatcher replied, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors, and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay.' He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now, because I shot them." and he hung up. Within 5 minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence, and caught the burglars red handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available."

Realizing she won't be home during the installation, she calls the carpenter to let him know. She says, " I'll leave the back door open for you, but there are two things you must know about. The first is I have a large Rottweiler dog, but don't worry, he won't bother you. The second is VERY IMPORTANT. I have a parrot that likes to curse allot. Whatever you do, do not yell at the parrot." The carpenter agrees and later arrives at the woman's home. As he sets up to work, he sees the dog lying down. The dog just looks up at him and then goes back to resting. Then he spots the parrot in its' cage, and at first the bird is quiet, so he thinks, "no problem." As he begins to work, the parrot starts cursing, just like the woman said. As the carpenter continues working, the parrot gets gradually louder and louder with its' obscenities, which is beginning to bother this man. He remembered what the woman said about not yelling at the bird and continues working. But, after about two hours of listening to this foul-mouthed bird, the carpenter reaches his limit and yells, "SHUT UP YOU STUPID F*CKING BIRD." At that point the Parrot looked at the dog and said,"Get him Spike."

The wife asks her husband, "Honey, would you like me to fix breakfast? I could make us some eggs and toast or pancakes." The husband replies, "No thank you. It's this viagra. I think it's cutting my appetite. I'm not hungry." Then lunchtime rolls around, and the wife asks her husband, "Dear, would you like me to make some lunch? I could make some soup and sandwiches or I could make a couple of burgers w/ potato salad." The man again replies, "Aw, no thanks hon. It's this darn viagra. I'm just not hungry yet. So finally dinner time comes, and the wife asks her husband, "Dearest, would you like me to fix us dinner? I can make chicken, steak, or whip up some pasta and a nice salad." And yet again the man says, "No thanks. It's the viagra, hon. I'm just not hungry." At that point the wife looks her husband in the eye, and says, "Well, would you mind getting off of me now, because I'm starving."

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded wanting to know where her Sunday edition was. "Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY." There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well sh*t... so that's why no one was at church today."

One day a man was scouring through the newspaper ads looking for a good used car to buy. He comes across an ad that reads, "Merceds Benz S class 4dr, one year old, mint condition. Price $1.00. At first he thinks, "This must be some kind of joke." Skeptical but curious he calls the phone number given. A woman in her early 50's answers and says, "Oh yes, the ad is real. Why don't you come by and see for yourself?" The man said, "I'll be right over." He quickly jumps into his car and speeds to the woman's house. He spots the Mercedes in her driveway, and upon getting out of his car, the woman comes out her front door with the keys in hand. "Take it out for a test-drive" says she, and with that the man takes the car out for a spin. To his amazement the car is in absolute perfect running condition. Upon returning, he gets out and says, "Lady, I just have to ask why you would sell this great luxury car at such a ridiculously low price? I don't get it? The woman replied, "Well, that car is in my husbands name. He left me six months ago for another woman. He recently sent me a telegram that read, "Fallen on hard times and am in need of cash. Sell the Mercedes."

One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish.

He finds a corked bottle that has washed ashore. He pulls out the cork, and a Genie pops out. The Genie says, "I will grant you three of your fondest wishes. But, I must tell you that whatever I grant you, I will grant two of to every lawyer in the world. So, the man thinks a little and says, "I wish for a beautiful mansion to live in" and 'POOF' the Genie gives him his wish and says, "There, you have your mansion, and all lawyers everywhere now have two." Then the man says, "I wish for a brand new top of the line Mercedes Benz, and 'POOF' he has one, and again the Genie gives two of these to every lawyer in the world. After taking a little more time to think about his third and final wish, the man looks at the Genie straight in the eyes and says, "I wish to donate 1 kidney."

After a few minutes, he calls the bartender over and says, "Bartender, I'll bet you $25 that I can chew on my right eye." The bartender says, "Ok, let's see you do it." The man proceeds to pull his glass eye out of his right eye socket, and puts it in his mouth. After having another beer, the man calls the bartender back over and says, "Bartender, I'll bet you $50 that I can chew on my left eye." The bartender looks around where the man is sitting. He doesn't see a blind man's cane, so he says, "Ok, I know you're not blind, so let's see you do it." The man proceeds to pull out his false teeth and uses them to chew on his left eye. After another hour and a few more beers, the man is getting somewhat drunk. He calls the bartender back again. The bartender says, "What is it this time?" The man says, "Bartender, I'll bet you $100 that if you go to the other end of the bar, hold out a glass and walk back towards me, I'll pee in that glass and not miss a drop." The bartender knows the man is drunk and sees the opportunity to win his money back plus an extra $50, so he agrees. The man proceeds to stand up on the stool and pull it out. As the bartender is walking with the glass, the man is so drunk that he's peeing all over the bar and the bartender, and the bartender is just smiling and laughing over his win. He reaches the man and says, "Well, it looks like you made a fool of yourself this time, and now you're out $50. The man replies, "Oh, that's ok. You see, I just bet three other people that I could pee on the bar and on you and you'd do nothing but laugh.

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves outside the pearly gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?" After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard to the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

A friend saw this online pop-up ad, received a free short numerology reading, and asked what I thought. What I already know is that some of this reading is actually accurate, but I can also tell that some of the things that this person said were lies to make my friend feel special. I just want to hear from anyone who knows of any trustworthy websites on this subject. Thanks in advance.