lubhna

------A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached."

The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!"

"Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down."

"That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?"

"Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says.

"Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says.

So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda."

"Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."

-------

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"

-------

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

#1)It lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, and is born in air. What is it?

#2)I have a little house in which I live all alone. My house has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall. What am I?

#3)Poke your fingers in my eyes and I will open wide my jaws. Linen cloth, quills, or paper, I am greedy and devour them all. Who am I?

#4)What is is that you will break every time you name it?

#5)I am the beginning of sorrow, and the end of sickness. You cannot express happiness without me, yet I am in the midst of crosses. I am always in risk, yet never in danger. You may find me in the sun, but I am never seen out of darkness.

#6)What's full of holes but still holds water?

#7)While walking across a bridge I saw a boat full of people. Yet on the boat there wasn't a single person. Why?

#8) What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

i will post the answers up in a while......

the more of them you take, the more you leave behind....what are they?

i neede help creating a word problem to go along with the following math equations: y=-7x14+24 or y=-7(-9)=24

The egg's yolk are white

or

The egg's yolk is white

I need to think of a creative song about the Myflower and pilgrams, and stuff....I'm really stuck so pleeeze help me!!!

It can serious or funny - however, lyrics have to be appropriate

The question was in what ways can we help the world:

The world as we know it is not the best place to be, but if we all help, we can make it much better. We have all experienced hunger in some point of our lives, weather it’s at school, at home, or in the office. Many people all over the world, who live in poor countries, can not afford food, and may go days with out eating a thing. If we can get together and sponsor families, they can eat, and live a better life. Another issue in the world is global warming. Global warming is something we created, and if we try hard enough, we can get rid of it. Every year, we loose thousands of trees in the production of common house hold objects. We can help reduce the amount of trees cut, by recycling. Doing little things will help the world in big ways.

for hw. i have to write a 3 page essay on "If i could help the world"

My brain feels dumb, so give me ideas Please!!!

for hw. i have to write a 3 page essay on "If i could help the world"

My brain feels dumb, so give me ideas Please!!!

I dont know where to go 2morrow ...there are too many places!!

I CAN'T KEEP MY PLANTS ALIVE FOR A LONG TIME.DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE GREENTHUMB?

I CAN'T KEEP MY PLANTS ALIVE FOR MORE THAN A MONTH.DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE GREENTHUMB?

It comes till my waist and it bothers me alot wat should i do