Megan

I have been married for 5 years. We have a 4 year old son together. I messed up and about a year ago, texting a male friend who also has depression when I knew my husband would not approve. The thing is, he never has understood my depression and has sometimes in the heat of arguments said I am crazy. So I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it. At the time when he found about that I had been talking to this other man, I was honest, told him why, but also made it clear that I have no excuses, that by not telling him I was talking to someone else, is as bad as lying and is basically an emotional affair. He went to see a psychologist at the time to help him forgive and move on. Apparently what he took away from this consultation was that it was his fault that I did the wrong thing as he worked away and it is hard for me to be alone. He decided he didn't need anyone's help, he forgave me and we moved on. Whenever I brought the subject up he would just say "it's done and over, don't worry about it". Over the past year - very gradually- he became less happy, less motivated to do daily things, he stopped laughing, stopped playing with our son, and all he did was get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, shower and lay in bed. Barely any conversation or anything else other than those things. He stopped doing everything else. Everytime I would ask him what was wrong he would just say he was tired. Always so tired. Then, during an argument about whether we ever wanted more children (I have misscarried twice since our son) he blurted out that he didn't know what he wants and he doesn't think he wants to be here coming home to this house anymore. It was a total shock to me. But he was adament, he was leaving. Nothing I said he listened to. He moved out within a week and got his unit. He refused to attend any type of couselling or to even talk to me about why he was leaving. I was gutted. My idea of marriage is so string in the way, I believe we should have communicated better, attended whatever counselling necessary etc to try and make things work. I believe that people should go down every avenue before divorce. We didn't discuss the terms of the separation or anything and when I was helping pack some things he hugged me and told me to just give him some time. Needless to say I am heart-broken and couldn't afford to live in our house, so I have moved with my son to my parents to get back on my feet and for their support. In the last 2 1/2 months, things have gotten bad between us. I keep pushing to talk about things, and he flatly refuses, reacting in anger, resentment adn has burted out a few times that he thinks back to what happened with me talking to someone else and it goes through his mind all the time. He stays awake at night thinking about it. then I find out he has been talking to someone else! Turns out it was nothing serious but I cannot believe it is easy for him to talk to someone else and tell them he wants to begin something with them so soon after leaving me. I told him that a separation is supposed to be so he can reflect and decide what he wants. He told me that I don't leave him alone enough for him to do that. I started to leave him completely alone, only dropping our son off when it's his night to have him and he agreed to stop seeing the other girl. He started contacting me more. Talking, and flirting with me. We ended up sleeping together and I thought we had a connection. But then I found out he has still been talking to this other girl. I emailed her to tell her that he slept with me etc and she ended things with him. I am now faced with a dilemma of what to do. He is clearly depressed and I think it is making him do things he would never normally do. The things I love most about him is his honesty, he wears his heart on his sleeve and his massive undieing love for me. Those things are now gone. He talks differently, walks differently, his expressions are different, my son never wants to go to his house as he is always cranky and never plays, he has taken up smoking again, he is drinking alot, he has lost a lot of weight as he says he barely eats (his bones are beginning to stick out), he has isolated himself with only one friend willing to catch up with him anymore and when I send him information on depression he says he ticks all the boxes and can relate to the side effects. He says he is confused and needs to sort it on by himself. He is sick of me saying he needs to go see his doctor and get some help. He says he doesn't even know what his thoughts are as there are so many floating around in his head he can't make sense of them. His memory has become terrible, with him forgetting entire conversations sometimes. The more I try to help, the angrier he gets with me. He says he doesn't want my help, and he won't do it to me. I

My husband has left me. We were having an argument about whether or not to have another baby (we have a 4 year old and have misscarried twice) and he didn't want another, i asked him what he does want as or months he has seemed disinterested and depressed. He replied by saying he doesn't know and he doesn't think he wants to be with me. About 18 months ago, i messed up. i suffer depression ad anxiety and so does one of his friends. i was texting his mate and we were talking about what its like for us. my husband doesn't understand mental illness and i cant talk to him about as it freaks him out, so this was good because it is someone who's opinion i didnt care about, its no excuse for i did, i didnt tell my husband as i knew it would make him angry. we delt with it and he said he was fine, but now tells me that he thinks about it all the time. He was working away and said he stopped that and got a new job (one he hates and is half the pay) so he would be home and because he didnt trust me. at the time when we made this decision we agreed it was because i hated him being away all the time and he wanted to be home with me and my son. he never told me how he felt. this has only been communicated to me now, after 8 weeks of separation. he doesn't want to talk to me, he is angry as I keep pushing him to talk. He told me he has been talking to another woman as she has a young child and they are going through the same thing. he says they get along well. i am scared. i dont want us to be over. i keep going over it in my head just wishing i had of known how he felt and we could have worked on this before we got here. he wont talk to me or go to counselling with me. he says he doesnt think we will ever get back together but he still wants to be friends. The thing is when we are together, I can tell he still cares about me and there is still some love, just more anger. He admits he cares and he just wants me to get myself together and stop being so sad. I dont know what to try, I just want him to open up completley and talk. I told him this is my fault and i stuffed up ad im sorry and even after he left I have made everything about him not being with me and him not talking to me and everything has been about me. I told him now I see that most of problems are my fault and i didn't look at it from his point of view. What should I do?? I don't want to give up on us. we have been together 10 years and he was my first love and i still want him

We have had problems for a while now and I told him we should seperate, at first he agreed. Now he is suffocating me trying to prove that he can change and be what I want him to be. The thing is, its me with the problem. I want to be alone. I need to work out who I am and what I want, and he is cleaning the house, cooking, doing everything for our 3 year old son, bringing me flowers and chocolates at work and asking me to have lunch with me. He told me he wants to come to the markets with me tonight, which he hasn't done in the 8 years we have been together. I dont know what to do, he told me he cant love without me and he will never move on, only wait for the rest of life for me to love him. I am going to hurt him so much and I hate that, but I am not happy and I have to think of myself for once. Its just not there anymore for me. How do I do this as gently as possible. I feel like all I want at the moment is space, and I feel like he is smothering me.

I am on Effexor 225mg but still get the diarrhoea/nausea/jaw clenching from anxiety. I am working with a psychiatrist but in the meantime I am wondering if valium at bedtime would help me to sleep and work the next day on the anxiety symptoms?? what do you think?

I am having trouble seperating my values from my goals...

Are your values things that you strive for or things that you are? Say I strive to more patient, understanding and open minded, but I am impatient and can be judgmental.. so are these then more like my goals?

What exactly are your core values? I am having a crisis with depression and am trying to get an idea of what I am about and where I am going in life and I cant even identify my core values or beliefs.

Are values something that your strive for? Or something the you think is right, like if I think acceptance is a good trait to have is that one of my values, even though I dont accept things easily? Or is one of my values assertiveness because that is how I am, even tho I think sometimes it is a bad thing?? what exactly are values?

I have depression and am reading a lot of self help books. All of them talk about your core values and beliefs.. I dont think I have any!! How do you know these? Or how do you get some? Are there any good online places to learn more about what these actually are and which ones you believe?? Maybe quizzes or something to help guide me??

If you start an antidepressant and find that you need to increase the dosage every 2 weeks for it to have an effect, is that a sign that it isnt the right antidepressant for you? Or do you just need to reach a dose that works for you and then it will stay there for you working effectively for years/indefinitley?

If you have, please tell me your experience. Thanks!

I have major depression and am on Effexor 150mg. The whole time through my diagnosis and suffering the doctor says that the things I experience like diarrhoea, headaches, jaw clenching, severe nausea are symptoms of anxiety. but I dont think I have anxiety all that bad. I am more depressed. I have only ever had mild anxiety attacks, am not scared of anything and handle stressful situations well with the techniques I have learned from my therapist. So could these be symptoms of depression? Or should I be seeking a second opinion about maybe something physically wring with me?

What did you experience?

Is there something you can add to Effexor to help with physical symptoms of depression/anxiety like the constant nausea, teeth clenching, moods, depressed thinking, diarrhoea, energy levels and motivation? The Effexor is helping me, but I am already up to 150mg after only 5weeks of treatment and I still have these side effects from the depression. The nausea was worse when first starting the drug, but now has just gone back to what it was like before starting it. Any suggestions??

Will this drug stop working as well over time? If you are told you will probably need antidepressants for about 10 years or more, will it be a constant matter of changing drugs as the benefit from them wears off over time?

I started on 75mg before x-mas, now I have been on 150mg for 2 weeks and I feel like I am going backwards with my thoughts and feeling sick. How soon should you need to increase your effexor? If straight away I need to go to 225mg, is it the wrong drug for me do you think? How long can people be on this drug and have it work? Will it stop working over time?

I started Effexor 75mg a few weeks before Christmas after switching from Lexapro which wasn't working for me anymore. After a few weeks of constant nausea (which is normally a symptom of my depression and anxiety) I increased to 150mg with awesome results. No more nausea, mood was better etc. Now 2 weeks later I am feeling sick again with the nausea. I have taken 3 days of the oral contraceptive (Levlen) as the doctor said to start this after the beginning of the Effexor settled down. I have stopped the contraceptive in case that caused me to feel sick. What I want to know is if anyone else has increased to 225mg over a 2-3 week period after being on 150mg? If so, how did you know you needed to increase? Nausea for me was the first sign of my depression/anxiety and I always feel sick when I am about to have a "bad period" with it. What do you think, is increasing wirth a try to prevent a drop in my mood/depression/suicidal thoughts again, and if so, how do you know if you are taking too much?

I have a mustache (MoJo) who is about 7-8 months old. Great personality, love him to death (dont really know if a boy or girl) My question is about the colours. MoJo only has the black mustache, no pink or any other colours at all, the beak turned black recently but I have not seen any other change. Just wondering when I should see some of the pink/blue etc come out?

I have major depression and I have started taking Effexor a week ago. I was on Lexapro for a year increasing the dose constantly until now. Overall i have to say that i dont feel terrible physically. A lot of the time my problems are just as physical as mental with diarrhoea, nausea, stress headaches, teeth grinding/clenching and just about every other physical symptom of depression/mild anxiety there is.

I want to know if anyone has ever felt how I am feeling now and if you have any tips for me? I feel restless, like I just want the days to hurry up so its bedtime already. I have no motivation to do anything, but I cant stand sitting around doing nothing. I used to love having time to myself alone, now I cant stand it, but i dont really want to be around people either, the differences in my thinking is driving me crazy! I am constantly tightening/clenching my jaw muscles and it is giving me the most intense headaches, I am even doing it in my sleep. I try to focus on relaxing my jaw, and then 2 seconds later I realise I am doing it again! Its christmas soon and instead of looking forward to the holiday with my family, it is making me anxious, i just wish it was over with and the normal day to day at worl would start again, it doesnt make any sense.

effexor makes me feel sick and horrible for a couple of hours after taking it in the mornings and then after that i feel better, it makes me feel drowsy and nausous. would taking it at night help?