Lucy Harper

I remember seeing a movie a few years ago and have no clue what it was called. I remember it was in a foreign language, either french, spanish, or italian. It was about a girl whose parents were in the free love movement, they lived in an apartment with a bunch of people. Her father was really into it and slept with a lot of people, her mother was not and separated them in the apartment. She had a downstairs neighbor who she spent a lot of time with. She had a pet turtle who she froze in a block of ice in the freezer, saying she would defrost him when things got better. I remember on the front cover, it had the girl looking out a car window or something like that. Any ideas?

I'm pregnant, we dont know if its a boy or girl and aren't going to find out until the birth, but I have been thinking about boys names and these are ones that my husband and I have marked as ones we like a lot and are considering, which one do you prefer? What are your thoughts on them? His/her big brother is my stepson Tate, if that is a factor.

Tristan, Hayden, Arthur, Jasper, William, Asa, Ezra, Byron, or Miles

If you cant tell we like sort of older classical names.

I'm only 6.5 weeks along, but just have a feeling that its going to be a boy. I dont really care either way, but every time I think of names mainly boys names come to mind and I can only find boys names that I really like, plus sometimes I will absentmindedly think of the baby as a he. I know that it could very likely be a girl, I'm not about to run out and buy all boys things, but its just a funny thing. Did anyone else have a strong feeling about what gender their baby would be? Were you right? I guess I have to wait another 236 days to find out.

My four year old stepson is babysat by my boss three days a week while my husband and I are working. I work in a dinner as a waitress and my boss lives in the upstairs part of the building, so she watches my stepson, her daughter, and another little girl from her office in her home. The kids like to come down and sit at the lunch counter and color or watch us work and sometimes my stepson asks to help me. I give him little tasks, like wiping down tables, refilling straws and napkin dispensers, running orders back to the kitchen, he absolutely loves it, it makes him feel important. He has chores at home that we dont give an allowance for because those are his responsibilities, but my husband and I want to establish to him the difference between a responsibility and working for pay. We want him to make the connection of working and receiving something in return, so we want to give him a little something for the "work" he does at the dinner. We dont want to give money, hes only four so we think hes too young for that and he wouldn't really get a lot of joy out of it. We already take him places like the park regardless, so thats not really a reward, and we dont want to give a junk food since its a three times a week thing, so that would be a lot of junk food. We want something that we can give out in ratio of the tasks he does and the time he works. What do you think? Any ideas?

Im in the process of adopting my four year old stepson, his maternal grandmother has grandparent visitation, its a legal visitation schedule as part of a custody agreement, she gets him one weekend a year. She's freaking out because she has convinced herself that since her daughter terminated her rights and Im adopting him, that they will take away her grandparent visitation. We have explained to her and assured her that we dont think that thats how it works, and if it is, we would still allow the visitation to continue, we wont take him from her, but she just wont believe us. She hates my husband, he and her daughter had my stepson when they were 15, so she only knows him as "the guy who got my teenage daughter pregnant", she assumes that because hes young that he is a bad irresponsible father when thats the furthest thing from the truth, she never liked that he got custody and she wanted custody of my stepson from the start and took us to court over it a couple years ago. Shes really good to my stepson though and loves him a lot, he loves her, so we want her in his life.

My big issue though is we are scared that she will freak out out of fear of losing him since Im adopting him and will try to bolt with him during one of her visits, its something that we wouldn't put it below her to do. We dont want to ban him from her over one fear and know that the court wont accept "we have a bad feeling" as a reason to make visits supervised. Heres an idea that keeps on going through my head, he has a teddy bear that he sleeps with every night and carries around the house, he loves it and takes it with him whenever hes at her house, would never leave it behind. I thought about putting a GPS device, like one of those kids watches, inside the bear, so if she did take off with him, we could track them and find him. I know it sounds completely crazy and it might just be my crazy mom instincts to protect him, from fear of losing him, but it keeps on coming into my mind. Would it be completely crazy? Does anyone know inexpensive GPS trackers like that?

Im pregnant with my first birth baby, I have a four year old stepson whom Im in the process of adopting and guardianship of my 12 year old sister. My husband and I really like the name Tristan for a boy, thing is, my stepsons name is Tate. I really dont like the whole "every name starts with the same letter" trend, as long as we name any future kids names that dont start with a T and my sisters name is Gracie, is Tate and Tristan going to look too matchy?

I'm pregnant with my first birth baby, I have a four year old stepson whom Im in the process of adopting, his name is Tate Ethan (first and middle), and Im the guardian of my 12 year old sister Gracie May (first and middle). We have our own ideas for names, we like more classic names, but just for fun, suggest some names that go well with Tate and Gracie.

Usually while my husband and I are working my four year old stepson goes to one of two sitters, but we're going through a blizzard right now and one of the sitters kids are on a snow day tomorrow so shes taking her kids to visit their grandmothers and the other, who is actually my boss, has a meeting, but she told me it was okay if I brought him into work with me for the day. Its last minute and as I said, its a blizzard outside, so the chances of finding another sitter to take him on for four hours is slim. I'm a waitress at a diner. When shes babysitting, she watches my stepson, her daughter, and the other sitters daughter in her office where they can run around and play, but tomorrow he will have to sit up at the lunch counter. It will be four hours, so its not a huge amount of time, but I still need ideas on keeping him busy there. We have coloring books, blocks, legos, and puzzles, but I dont expect him to color and play with legos for four hours straight on his own. He can also help me out with certain small things, but that wont be frequent. We dont have a portable dvd player or any portable video games. Can anyone think of ideas to keep him busy and entertained for those four hours? Hes a good boy who will sit and behave, but I dont want him to be bored all day.

I have guardianship of my 12 year old sister, Gracie, I've played mom to her for her entire life and have had legal guardianship of her for a year now, since I turned 18. My husband has been in her life since she was 8 and they have a really strong bond, he plays both a parenting role and BIL role to her. Her school is having a father daughter tea party and she asked him to go with her. Part of the party is the fathers each put on a little act, like a talent show, with something related to their daughter, for example if their daughter is a cheerleader they go up dressed as one and do a little cheer or if they have a special song with their daughter, they sing it. My husband is going to sing and play the Ben Folds song "Gracie", since its her name its their little song that he sings to her. We are adjusting the lyrics a little to make them fit our situation better, since some of them are really father daughter lyrics and need a little help on some. The lyrics are:

You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out

You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth

And you will always have a part of me

Nobody else is ever going to see

Gracie girl

With your cards to your chest walking on your toes

What you got in the box only Gracie knows

And I would never try to make you be

Anything you didn't really want to be

Gracie girl

Life flies by in seconds

You're not a baby Gracie, you're my friend

You'll be a lady soon but until then

You gotta do what I say

You nodded off in my arms watching TV

I won't move you an inch even though my arm's asleep

One day you're gonna want to go

I hope we taught you everything you need to know

Gracie girl

And there will always be a part of me

Nobody else is ever gonna see but you and me

My little girl

My Gracie girl

Here's a link to the song if you want to listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dcOK7G1o5o

So the main part that we need help with is the first verse,

"You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out

You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth"

as he didn't see her born and telling her that shes just like our mom isn't a positive thing to her. Can anyone think of lyrics that have a similar feel to them that fit well, that would be more apporpriate? Thanks.

I currently have a four year old stepson, for childcare while my husband and I are at work, we have a babysitting-pool kind of thing with two other families, they each watch our child for a certain number of hours while we are working and we watch their child for an equal amount of time, so its free childcare for everyone. We are trying for our first child and are trying to get things in order, and one thing that we really dont know what to do about is childcare after the baby is born and I have to go back to work. By the time the baby is born and Im back at work, my stepson will be in kindergarden, so we would still only have one child in need of childcare, but one of my stepsons sitters, where he is three days a week, is also my boss, I'm a waitress at a dinner, she works out of the office handling the phones and paperwork, so she watches the kids in her office while she is working. This is fine for four year olds who can play and color with each other and dont need constant attention, but she wouldn't be able to care for an infant while shes working. The other family has already said they want to continue the current arrangement with us, as they are home during that time and still want us to watch their child, but we need to find new childcare for the other days. We dont have any nearby family that we have contact with and our friends cant commit to watching a baby everyday. We live in a small town, theres only one daycare, its a private in home one, and its not an option, I dont have anything against daycare, Im sure there are many good ones, but the one in our town is not a good one, they just plop the kids in front of the tv all day and the lady who runs it smokes around the kids. So the only thing we can think of is hiring an everyday sitter to watch him, but we have no idea how much that costs. So how much is an everyday sitter, I work part time, so it would be for about 4.5 hours a day, 3 days a week. Does anyone know any other options?

My four year old stepson loves star wars and we want to take him to see it in 3D, as we know he would flip to see it on the big screen. Hes good in movie theaters, he knows to sit quietly and watch, he doesn't run around and talk, so the theater isn't an issue, but we've never taken him to a 3D movie. I dont even know if the glasses would fit him, and I dont want him to end up not being able to watch it because of that. He wears sunglasses and understands that its the glasses that makes the movie 3D, so we know he will keep them on to watch the movie as long as they aren't too big or uncomfortable. Has anyone taken a small child to a 3D movie? Did the glasses fit?

My husband is being sexually harassed at my stepsons baseball practice. I asked for advice on here, and a good number of answers on here, as well as from several other sources, are saying "Just ignore it. Take it as a compliment. He's a guy, he probably likes the attention anyway." If it were a woman getting sexually harassed by a group of older men at her childs sports practice, saying extremely sexual things about her, staring at her butt and breasts, etc., to the point that she is uncomfortable being there anymore, all of this in front of her child, do you think people would tell her "take it as a compliment" and "she probably likes it" and "dont make a fuss about it and start something, just ignore them"?

My four year old stepson is in a baseball program, its an all year thing, in the winter they play in the local gym with foam balls, its a 1-18 program, they start as toddlers and can play at different levels all throughout their childhood, they play local teams, its just a fun laid back thing. My stepson has been in it since he was 18 months old and has been with the same group of kids, so he's made some good friends through this.

Theres a group of moms who kind of have their little clique there, one of them I know pretty well because our kids are good friends and love to play together so they have regular playdates. The others, I don't really know or talk to, my husband and I are 19, he had his son young, so they don't quite see me as "one of the group." My stepson had a playdate with his friend the other day and the mom who I know okay broke down to my husband and I and said that her friends have been doing something that disturbs her and she thinks that we have a right to know. They stare at my husband and making sexual comments about him, saying "oh hes so hot" and saying what they would "do to him." She said that when he first signed his stepson up, they used to call him "jailbait" behind his back (he was 17). That means this has been going on for over two years, at first she joked along with them, back when it wasn't "that bad", it used to be just a joke on the side, but its got more and more serious with the talk and now they spend a good 15 minutes of the hour long practice talking about him.

Im not jealous, I know he's not going to run off with them or something, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it disturbs me that these 25-35 year old women do this on a regular basis. It makes my husband extremely uncomfortable to the point that he doesn't feel comfortable going to the practices, but he does anyway because he wants to see his son play. I never really looked at them or paid much attention, but now that I know, all I could notice today was them whispering and giggling and clearly shamelessly staring at my husbands butt, it makes me so uncomfortable, I cant even imagine how my husband feels. So after practice I went up to them and said "look, I don't want to get into it, but I dot appreciate what you are doing and saying, you know what it is, and I would appreciate it if you would stop." They played dumb and acted like I was crazy and dont know what Im talking about, the woman that I know said "come on guys, you know what she's talking about, lets just stop", and they just said "shut up ___, we don't know what your talking about", then they went and got their kids and left quickly. The mom I know said that if I wanted to go to the coach about it she would back me up as a witness, but I really don't want to start something. How can I get these women to back off and quit it? Should I go to the coach?

My four year old stepsons mother is giving up her parental rights, I will adopt him once its final. Her mother has grandparent visitation for one weekend a month. We want to continue the relationship between my stepson and his mother and grandmother, we arent looking to take her rights away, but if his mother no longer has rights, does that effect her mothers rights and automatically cancel them?What we are mainly worried about is she has never been a big fan of my husband and myself, she was completely pissed when he got full custody instead of her. Shes a good grandmother, loves and cares about him, but if her rights get terminated when his mothers does, even though we will let her continue her visits and will keep contact, we are afraid she will panic when she that she has no legal right to him and that she might try to bolt with him during a visit before the process is finished. The positive side of it is while she does love him and care for him, she sometimes will do things we dont like with him, like leave him with her daughter, who isnt supposed to have him unsupervised, and feed him things we dont like, tell him things we dont like, so we would like it if we could have a little more control over how they spend their time together, we dont want to dictate it, just simple ground rules, like no bad mouthing daddy, no ice cream for dinner, etc. So does anyone know if grandparent rights are terminated when parental rights are terminated on that side?

My stepsons birth mom decided today that shes relinquishing her parental rights and I am going to adopt him. Luckily she has agreed to keep the same visits and contact, he lives full time with us and has supervised visits, so life wont change for him, its just transferring legal rights to me so this wont hurt him. We are telling him about the adoption, in a way a child will understand, but since I've raised him since he was a baby and she is a stranger to him (her choice), it wont really mean much to him. I'm so excited, its like a dream. We are going to start the process tomorrow, but I really know nothing about it. How long does it take for parental rights to completely be relinquished so we can start the adoption process? I know theres a waiting period, so mom can change her mind if she wants to. How long does the adoption take for a stepparent? Whats the process like? I dont even know where to start, we are going to start the research and process tomorrow, talk to a legal console. We live in New York if it varies by state.

My husband and I basically have the equivalent of an open adoption situation worked out with my stepson and his mom. We have full custody of him, but want to keep her involved, shes made it very clear that she doesnt want to be his mom and would like to just stay on the sidelines. So we send her letters and pictures and drawings and she is allowed to have supervised visits. She never writes back and only comes to visit a couple times a year. She has a lot of issues and isnt safe to be alone with him. I have been in my stepsons life since he was 18 months old, hes now four, I am now married to his father, have been for a year, and we have made a forever family with him. We have never kept him from having feelings for his mom, but he knows that he has two, his birth mom and his forever mom. I love him and treat him as my own and he is my child. I have never forced myself on him, I just did my part in raising him and loving him and we grew together. Someone recently told me that its wrong to consider him my child because "you weren't in the bedroom making him, you didn't grow him, you didn't birth him, he's not yours, you're not the "other mother" he doesn't have two, no child does." and "no child asks for the love of a mother except from his mother, anyone else coming in simply puts it on the kid and he's tolerating it. Don't kid yourself, kids are needy at his age, he's happy someone is putting clean clothes on him and feeding him, a nanny could do it too and he'd love her too." I've never heard something so insulting before. I know who I am with my child, so Im not letting it bother me in that sense, but its just so hurtful. Any comforting words, how would you react?

I have a four year old stepson. We have full custody of him, his birth mom was neglectful and abusive (mentally and emotionally, plus child endangerment, she didnt beat him or anything, though she would sometimes give spankings for nothing), and has a serious drinking problem. She lost custody when he was 18 months old. Our custody agreement says that its up to my husband's discretion when she sees him. The judge recommended one supervised visit a month, but we allow her to come by anytime, we want him to know his mother, but she rarely shows up for even the monthly visits and will go months without seeing her. Her behavior improved a bit and she expressed remorse, she cleaned up a bit, so for a while we allowed her to take him out, only if she was supervised by her mother, but it didnt work out, she got back into her patterns, her mom would leave him alone with her, etc., so now we're back to supervised visits at our house.

I have been the mom to my stepson since he was 18 months old, I didnt try to take over, its just what happened. Im the only mom he knows and remembers. We try to keep her in his life, we have a picture of her in his room, we talk about her, never negatively, we have him send her cards on holidays and make her pictures, but hes just too young to really understand, to him shes the far away aunt that he doesnt know, but has to send cards, one hour every few months just isnt enough. We've gotten him to call her mom still, but to him its just a word.

The trouble starts when she does come to visit. She swoops in and tries to pick him up and expects him to come running into her arms shouting mommy, instead hes completely terrified of her. Hes a very friendly open boy, he isnt shy, but just being grabbed like that by someone whose practically a stranger, who he doesnt really know or trust. He comes running to me or my husband and clings to us, grabs our legs, begs me to hold him. We try to calm him down and get him to go to her, but he just wont, everytime we try to get him near her he starts screaming, which is just not something he does, he doesnt act like this with anyone else, I think he might still have a sense of what she has done in the past, though he was so little then. We have tried to calm him down and get her to step back and let him come to her, but its just not working.

So many people have been telling us "oh, you need to make him go to her, you arent his mom, if you hold him you are impairing his relationship with his parent and telling him its okay to fear her", but I love him as my own, I cant just tell him no when hes terrified and begging for comfort and security, he sees me as his mother and trusts me for security, I dont want to betray that trust to force him to go to someone who he doesnt trust. I just dont know what to do, does anyone have any advice?

My husband and I have just decided to try for our first. We were going to wait a couple more years until we were more settled and ready, but things at work and college picked up faster then we thought and we are ready now. I have a four year old stepson, whom we have full custody of and I love as my own, but Im super excited to have a baby. Does anyone have any tips and advice for getting pregnant, the pregnancy, and helping my stepson and my sister (Im her guardian) adjust to a baby?

My husband and I have been married for a year. I have a four year old stepson whom my husband has full custody of and guardianship of my 12 year old sister, so we know the work it takes to raise a child and we are very secure in our relationship, those are not an issue. We know we are ready emotionally for a baby and a child is wanted, but we arent sure about the timing logistically. Originally we were planning to wait until we were out of college, so we wouldn't be too busy and stressed to add a baby into the mix, but my husband is taking a break from college so I can go to a better school, he will return in a couple years when I finish my degree, so that takes some stress away and adds more time, also I am only working part time right now with a flexible job and he got a pay and work raise, so we are doing okay financially and have a little more money and I would be able to take off a little time now and then continue with a part time. We are doing okay financially, we aren't rolling in cash and we are careful with our money, but we think we have enough and the resources to provide what a baby needs. But I dont know if we are just convincing ourselves because we want a baby so bad. When do you know that its the right time to have a baby?

I asked a question before about my sister, she's 12, I'm her guardian. In the question I mentioned that she has a "boyfriend." By boyfriend I mean a sweet kind boy her age who holds her hand and hangs out with her, always supervised, and he gives her a lot of moral support and helps her with a lot of the issues shes going through with our past and parents. They dont do anything sexual, they dont even kiss, they have no interest in that, he gave her one peck on the cheek one time and that was all, its all completely innocent. In fact she turned down several other boys because she isn't ready for that stuff, she turned down this boy too at first but realized that she really likes him and he doesn't want to do anything too grown up either. I explained all of that, but every responder to my question completely skipped answering the question and just said "shes too young to date", "shes too young to have a boyfriend", etc. I know my opinion on the matter, but when do you allow "dating"? Would you allow this relationship?