No Chance Without Miku

We all know that helium-filled balloons float. But stars are filled with helium, and they aren't floating away. Therefore, the only logical explanation is that God created it and stuck it in an orbit around Earth.

That's assuming orbits and the "round Earth theory" aren't just made up liberal claptrap.

Checkmate, atheists.

If God didn't exist, then you wouldn't need to not believe in him, therefore God exists. Checkmate, atheists.

It's important we don't highlight the facts that disprove my conclusions, otherwise it just falls apart.

This whole "vacuum" thing is a cover-up by the atheists at NASA to prevent normal people from flying to the moon in a balloon!

And if you think I'm crazy, just look at the proof that's right in front of you! The sun burns all the time, but if space didn't have air in it, it would go out! Checkmate, atheists.

As we all know, atheists are nothing but pro-murder ("pro-choice" as the libruhls call them) baby-eaters who want to teach our children EVILution and give money to the poor. Jesus would not allow such things! To find out more about my plan, dial 1-800-JEE-EZUS and donate $50 today! It's what Jesus would want you to do.

He's not omniscient if he can't.

I mean, if God didn't intelligently design us, then we wouldn't believe that God intelligently designed us! Pfft, it's so simple even an baby-eater athiest can figure it out!

And you can't use logic when answering because it disproves God and I don't take kindly to things that disprove God because I want to keep my false sense of security, thanks.

Gawd bless thee, merican patriets!

Checkmate, atheists!

When they really mean "I actually hate people who don't think like me but don't want to get ostracized for being a bigot"? It's no secret that when someone says this, they actually hate the "sinner" because they're not exactly like them or don't follow the same religion.

Let's assume for a moment that Jesus actually existed. If you hated the sin, then you wouldn't be throwing stones at the sinner because you too are a sinner.

This makes Jesus mad.

Also, this question wasn't aimed at Christians in general, just the homophobes who let the Bible think for them.

The Olympics were originally held in Ancient Greece for the honor and glory of Zeus. Why don't we start doing that again?

Just because they have the First Amendment doesn't mean other people don't. They also have the Fifth Amendment, but why do they rarely ever use that one?

Atheists think monkeys evolved into humans, but if we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys? Checkmate!

I know God created us because it says so in the bible. Checkmate! And how do I know the bible's true? Well, because it says so in the bible! Checkmate!

I don't understand evolution and I must protect everyone else from understanding it. Praise Jeezus.

True American Patriets - 4.

Atheists aka Satanists - 0.

I'm interested in selling my daughter into slavery as allowed by Exodus 21:7. What should the selling price be, and does the buyer need my insurance information?

Furthermore, my neighbor is breaking the law as stated by Leviticus 19:19 by planting corn and beans side by side in his garden. Is it worth the trouble to have the WHOLE town gather to stone him as stated in Leviticus 24:10-16, or can I burn him to death at a private gathering such as you do with men who sleep with their in-laws as sanctioned in Leviticus 20:14?

I await your knowledgeable answers. I really need answers to these points, because some atheist liberals said it's not OK to sell your children into slavery but I know the Holy Bible says otherwise.

Scientists (Creation Scientists, not those faux "scientist" liberals) believe the Earth is 4 hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years old. Real scientists have determined that the universe was created by GOOOOOOOOOOOD. If you look at the bones of a Jesusaurus Rex, it's clear with the use of carbon dating that Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made.

What do you have to say for yourselves?

You say we all have protein in us, which is made up of amino acids or something, but we all know that when you put things in acid they dissolve. Checkmate! Clearly the universe came from Gawd. What have you got to say for yourself?!?

First we take God and the Bible and Jeezus, and put it into the Government. Then we take the Government and put it into the trashcan.

Problem solved.

By going to church, you're just making the real god even more furious than before.

BQ: What if God's real, but turns out to be a female? Wouldn't you just be pissing her off by repeatedly saying "he", "him" and "his" in reference to her?

BQ2: What if God is actually a collection of aliens that guide the evolution of various species so they become intelligent, such as the ones in 2001: A Space Odyssey?