Your Brother

She is asking to get back with me.  

She is a wannabe model.  She also has a "day job" as a purchasing agent.  She has a temper. She has the looks, but cannot get a job as a model. I have gone with her and sat there watching her sessions. She will not listen to directions.  She argues with the photographer so she gets the old "do not call us, we will not call you".  

She blows up when driving. I used to sometimes drove her to her photo sessions because she was so frazzled from shouting at other drivers that she cannot get into character in front of the camera. Of course she complains that I drive too slow (10 mph over the speed limit is too slow for her) and should be weaving in and out of traffic to get there four seconds sooner.  Yes, she expects me to drive very aggressively. Of course I always leave an hour early so she has time to fix her makeup anyway so what is the point in the rush?

I flew with her to San Francisco once, and I told her I would never get on a plane with her again.  All she did was complain to the airline attendant. I thought they were going to ask her to egress before the plane left the gate. 

A few years back I received a "free" router with my internet service renewal. I did not inbox it until about three months later.  It bricked right out of the box during the over the air firmware update.  I called customer service. They said the "recovery process" only works with Windows.  I told them I do not have any device that runs Windows, and asked if they can send me a replacement.  They said the promo had ended and that they had no more stock.  

They said I needed to contact Asus about the warranty. I tried the Asus email support.  I got the same answer.  I did not want to be bothered with it anymore. I tossed the router in the trash bin, and continued using my old, but reliable router.A few days later, email support attempted to follow up.  I told them "I no longer have an issue, because I gave up and tossed the router in the trash!". 

I have to wonder how far up the management chain they forwarded my comment. It took nearly two weeks for them to respond with "Please let us know if you need anymore assistance". 

Hahahaha, that was an epic fail! 

They sent me a survey asking about my customer service experience. I did not complete the survey.

My ex wife would come home from work so angry that she would not allow me or the dog in the same room with her for two hours. She would take a hot bath, then come out all sweet.  

She never lasted long at any one company, and always had the same anger problem.On weekends she was all sweet so long as I did not let her drive.  No you did not want to get into a car with her.She would start in on me and the dog every Sunday evening at about 6:30. She would follow me though the house screaming at me and insulting my manhood. The neighbors called the police once. Often she would turn off the TV, take the remote into the bedroom, and lock the door.One day she called me from jail.  Evidently she went for a drive at lunch time, and got arrested for road raging. Her car was impounded.  She got fired. I refused to pick her up the next day when she was released.  I filed for divorce.  It finalized one year ago today.She calls me all the time. I have been polite.

Besides the breasts of the waitress I am looking at.

Yes, I am making a joke.  Say something funny.

My employer granted me 120 shares in restricted stock units.  Sounds good, right?  A quarter of them vested (30 shares), and hey appeared in my E-Trade account.  They did not sell any of them to take out federal, state, and social security tax.  That is my problem.  I had no idea that I was supposed to take care of that.  Some more vested since then and the same thing happened.  

I sold 50 shares last November, and got a check for just over $400.  E-Trade robbed me because they organized the sale in such a way to maximize commission. When I did my 2018 taxes I had a mess to deal with.  I had to pay the federal and state tax, and just pain did not bother with the social security. The amount of work exceeded the bother for the paltry sum of $400. If it was just a simple form, I would have been OK with it.I contacted HR a few weeks back and asked the company to take the remaining shares back. They agreed to take back the shares that had not yet vested, but refuse to take back the shares in my E-Trade account. I am liable for the taxes on them, but there are only 16 shares so the value is small.  I have not paid any taxes on that 12 shares yet. I figure that my payout will be maybe $100 if I sold them.How do I rid myself of this with the least paperwork? What is the dollar figure where RSU become viable?  Seriously I think if the amount (after taxes, and omissions) is less than $500 over a year, it is not worth it.  Can I donate them to the YMCA or something?

I used all fake info to create the account where the notice came, so I guess the breach resulted in the release of my fake info. I will be filing a claim just to see if they cut a check for Bilbo Baggins. Hahahaha. I never take class actions seriously.

My friend married an Asian woman. She has a son, and he is really smart. He wants to me an engineer, and to play soccer in collage.

His step son has a Chinese name. His step son wants a Christian style name, like all the American kids have. How can he legally get his driver license, and everything in the western alter name?

No he is not doing it to break the law. He wants a name that his future schoolmates can pronounce.

He is really cool and calls me "Uncle Robert".

Say it was "Peach Pie" spelled "PeAch3.14"?

I just received a raise, so i went to the mall. I saw some very expensive watches. Some Omega will tick and some float the hands. Those that float say they are automatic? Can't it be automatic if it does not float? Why are the watches that float significantly more expensive? Why to most Rolex appear to float?

I asked the salesman but he just told me a bunch of stuff I do not understand.

I have been officially childfree a year now. I had a vasectomy a year ago. I am now 25. If you are CF, or know someone that is, have you noted problems with social issues, family, etc?

I am 25 this year. I have no children, and have never been married. I had a vasectomy one year ago, this month. I am very proud. Am I strange to throw a party for myself, and my close friends?

I have no children because I like to keep the money I make. I am also single.

I had a vasectomy done in October. I just had a semen analysis done. I got the results back today, and the clinic gave a hardcopy to keep. I am sterile! Yes!

This paper is all I need should I ever get tagged for a paternity suit, right?

I did this because my buddy went though a lot of hell to prove he was no the father of his ex-wife’s son.

I make 60K a year. So how much am I going to save by never having to worry about child support? I would have to pay about 600 a month, right? That comes to almost 150K? Wow!

Real answers please. Actual experiences preferred. Spare me the “half a man” speech.

Many of my colleges and college friends know so little about sex education. Here are some of the things they think:

AIDS: They think only gays can get it, and that a man can’t get it form a woman.

Vasectomy: I know a few that think it is castration. I recently had one done. One of my friends thinks that it is illegal because I have no children and I am single.

I know at least one guy that thinks that if he wears anything pink or purple that he will start to like to have sex with men. I said the word “garage” and he told me never to say that because it sounds like “gayrage” and if you say that you will start to want to have sex with men. What the?

I have also noted that a lot of egotistical guys think that “sex education” is his technique for getting a dumb blonde to buy him drinks and then go home with him.

Ok, maybe I should consider the source. A few of these guys brag a lot but are never seen with women. A few are married, and talk real tuff, but they are not tuff at all when on the mobile with their woman.

I got mine Thursday before last. This was by first week back to work. It never hurt over the weekend, but did Monday. The rest of the week was not that big a deal.

The ‘liquid bandage’ wore off after about 4 days. Today is the 9th day and there is no pain, but it does feel like my testicles are ‘heavy’. I looked closely, and I can hardly see a sign that I had it done.

I followed the instructions, for the most part. I think it hurt so bad Monday, because out of habit, I ‘sprung’ out of my truck, in the parking lot, when I got to work. I usually do that every day, when I don’t ride my bicycle to work. Do you agree that I was in so much pain Monday because I did this, or is the pain just normal? My dinking buddy (former college roommate) thinks that I should not have had the pain, and the parking lot incident was the reason.

What do you think, and will the sharp pain return? I only have 5 vicodin left. I am not in pain now. Should continue to take them twice a day, or just save them in case the pain returns?

Please only answer if you are a man that had one, or if you are a women whom lived with a man that had one performed at the time you were with him. Anyone posting any immature nonsense about loosing my manhood will be reported.

I am scheduled to get a “traditional” vasectomy (cut and cauterize) on the 25th or this month. I am new in town, so my buddy (whom has already had one), and his girlfriend are coming out to stay the weekend with me. We will watch movies, BBQ, throw darts (if I am up to it), and drink beer(will I be able to drink, I forgot to ask the doctor about that).

He is giving me a ride to and from the clinic. I bought some jock straps, and a new jogging suit to wear for the first few days. I will have to wear regular work clothes on Monday, because I will be back at work.

We have plenty of movies to watch on my new TV. I won’t have to lift anything, because they will be here. I also have an ice pack!

Have I overlooked anything?

I just got refused by a urologist due to my age. Some guy said to go to a not-for-profit clinic and lie about my age. I forgot who wrote it. What exactly should I say to get one. Will they attempt to verify? Suggestions anyone? I am 25, single, and have no children, but I still want a vasectomy. Spare me the speach, I want a vasectomy.

Do not-for-profit clinics take insurance? I can pay cash, if they do not. If they do, I already have approval from my health insurance comany.

I grew up very poor, near Oakland. A lot of brothers lived in my community. But, only about three dozen graduated highshool with me. Most of thje rest were white and Asian. Why?

I went to college near Oakland before I ran out of money, and moved to Phoenix. Very few brothers were in any of my classes. From the looks of things, there are very few in college here as well.

I know many black men that are IT professionals, dentitsts, software developers, managers, and so on. They all have a few things in common; Not a one of them speak ‘slap’ like, ‘Who you be’, ‘whas is up’, ‘were it be’. None of them wear hats backward. None of them walk around wearing ther pants hanging down. They all act professional.

I can’t even remember the last time someone made a racial statement to me. Why is that? Maybe that is because I am a positive person whom does not act ‘ghetto’.