ya360

I want to move on and enjoy dating, but I don't trust, I feel bad about myself, I have high level emotional reactions to stupid stuff. I'm scared of most people, as in having to talk to them, conversations are no longer valued, but feared. My ex turned his back and left me in a pretty sleezy and cowardly way. It was messed up. I thought he was a friend. He left for another women. I've lost most of my family and people who care. I've never grieved their losses that much, but when he left and I grived for him, I felt everything, all my looses, all of it.. I cried everyday for months. I still cry. It's been 7 months I can't date. I'm loosing friends. I've tried anti-depressants, counseling. The synapses in my brain just got zapped, fried.

the ones you use to connect with people

I'm checking out this guy, and he's cute and nice, but I don't know. I'm such a computer person, I communicate so much on it, through it, make and create.. it's big part of who i am, what I do for work.

Most people I know have some sort of computer access, and use facebook to keep in touch, look up information. He's 37, and has friends a nice roommate, socializes, knows about stuff going on in the world. Just not sure what that means. I have a friend who doesn't have a computer, but she's kinda crazy. Seems that only wierdo's don't use the internet

My ex boyfriend left me in a bad spot a few months ago. I trusted him. I trusted him to be there like he said he would, but he just left me for another girl. I really thought I could trust him to do the right thing, and he just dropped me, my son, everything. I needed him to be my friend. It triggered my abdonment issues. My son's father left me for a 21 year old girl a year before. My mom commited suscide when I was 15. My grandmother who I lived with passed away at 16, leaving me a ward of the court ( on the streets) My grandparents who were like my only connection to a loving kind home passed away, and it's been hard without them. My father abused me, and when I was with him, the state took custody away and I lived in foster homes and group homes since none of my family would take me in. I have my mom's uncle who has hated me since I was born. He has three daughters all around my age, and they claim to be Christians, yet they won't give me the time of day. I've always been shoved aside, had conditional love... Even at school the kids HATED me, I was picked on for not having the right clothes, etc So I went to school and faced jerks, then went home as was beaten by one. its made me a person who has a hard time finding self worth. It hurts because my heart just knows now, that no one will love me, accept me. I don't trust anyone. I give and give. People say how sweet I am, and all. but they don't ask me about having dinner, or my night, no one asked me what I was doing for thanksgiving. Not One Person. My son is going to see his dad's family. Even though were on good terms, I wasn't invited, because his new girlfriend ( who will be with her family) doesn't feel comfortable with us being around each other.

Before my boyfriend triggered my abdonement issues, I was actually doing pretty good, Last year we were together with friends, for thanksgiving. I had friends a social life, I felt good, I didn't feel alone. When he left me, it triggered all the anxieties and feelings to come back. It changed me, and now no one wants to hang out with me. I can't make any friends, people want so much from me, but I'm empty, I need love. I need someone that I can go to when the world beats me down. I have nothing, I have to stay strong, for a child. He is all I have. the only person I can trust. I dont' know how to turn around this energy that is coming from me, my broken heart which sends people away. I'm stuck in this pit of loneliness. I just want to get warm by the fire. I just want to feel loved and appreciated.

and no I'm not going to a community church dinner, I'm too sad at this point. I'm going to fast, and pray to the universe for a family, to please stop the loneliness... and I've tried counseling. Not worth it. I can't pay to have someone ask me the same questions I can ask myself.

they had an attitude, and made comments about my son making noise in the mornings...

well. They knew a child was in the home, they knew I was not okay with smoking, and didn't tell me they smoked.

What would you do?

would you ask them to leave?

I'm thinking along those lines....

I don't smoke cigarettes, The smell makes me sick, and it's wrong to expose it to a child.

I've been there almost two years, and I was going to wait till the end of my lease, and start looking for another place. Usually it takes a few months, and I go month to month so I can find a decent place.

The apt complex wants to raise the rent $200 for me to go month to month.. which i can't afford! Now I'm stuck for the winter... I signed for 6 months, but in 6 months, I'm going to faced with the same problem. I've rented over 10 times, and NEVER had the rent increase so much. Never had the rent increase to go month to month. Do I have any legal options? I'm in NC

I'm really hurt over his actions. He broke up with me because he didn't want to be in a serious relationship, (even though we were together for a year) he said he wanted a break, and time alone to think. Then by intuition, I went to his house and found out he started seeing someone two weeks after we broke up. Lie after lie after lie. I cry and cry. Would it be wrong if I make an illustration, watercolor with ink, a broken torn up sacred heart on the floor, with him walking away, his head shaped like a penis, since sex is the most important thing to him, frame it and give it to him for his birthday, as "something to remember me by" then never talk to him again.

He broke up with me after a year because he didn't want to be in a serious relationship. Then three weeks later he met some chick, and now he's banging her. He lied to me, he told me that he just wanted to take a break, have some time alone to reflect. I found out about her on accident. He is just being a selfish prick, and has disreguarded everything. He said he still wanted to be in my life, that he would still help me with my son. SO far NONE of this is true. He just walked out. I really really just want to make my point, and run over his vegetable garden with my 4x4 truck. make him feel something. I guess I don't think it would be any different than driving on someone's grass. His garden is his life. He ruined mine so.. I gave up a large social life for him. now I have to start all over.

I don't want to get a gas powered generator. They are expensive, loud, etc. I've seen car batteries at some camp sites, but not sure how they made it work.

I feel sick, anxiety, etc. but didn't before. Before I was so happy.

I took it about 7 years ago, and I responded well. I tried it again, and I got bad headaches, I couldn't eat ANYTHING. My appetite is completely gone. the smell of food is just bad. I took some alieve on an pretty much empty stomach. I got sooo sick. My body wanted those alieves out of there. I drank water, just to have something to throw up. Of course the headache was still there. It was bad... I don't know if the Effexor is worth it? Will this go away. I don't understand why it worked great for me in the past, but not now. Should I try again today, or take it as a sign that this stuff is bad and try something else... I know I should call my doctor, but she's busy, and will make me wait until I have an appointment to speak to her.

I have a small thrift store. I'm also pretty office savvy. I would like to know what is the simplest ,least expensive option to having a register, spreadsheets, taxes etc. Is it worth it to get an expensive cash resister for downloading the data unto a computer? Or maybe just entering it in manually? Not to sure it's worth it to pay for Quickbooks, especially if there is a month fee. Any advice is much appreciated!!

I went to check it because some lights in the basement were not working. Can't open door, seems like the lock is jammed?

We were together for almost a year. It came out of the blue, a week before he was bringing me flowers, helping me with stuff, making me things, cooking dinner... I asked him why, I didn't understand why was he breaking up for me. He said that he thought that he could find someone better! Him.. he still lives in his parents home, drives the family car, went to a private liberal arts college and was handed a degree without taking ANY math courses, and parents who fronted the 120K for the tuition. I put myself through community college, have hagglers on my back about student loans that I have to pay back. . Have a child to take care of, a deadbeat dad who also needs help. I worked in a corporate environment, I was on the streets at 16, left for dead by family when my grandmother died, and now I opened my own business. I'm successful. I'm disciplined, motivated, easy going, sweet, not nigh maintenance.. we never fought, we had chemistry... we had similar goals in life, liked to be together... My friends all thought that I could do better. that I was out of his league. i really liked him though, and thought it was a good match. I already have abandonment issues. It's been really hard to recover. He wants to stay friends, but i can't be friends with someone who can treat me so disposable, or view bonds or connection as something to just throw away. I don't see how I can trust another guy. I'm 31. My father, most men in my life have not been there for me, let alone abuse me. I've tried to be open, but this last time... I've lost all trust for men. I've never been on the receiving side of a man being a good man to someone. I'm closing down, and giving up. I'm becoming one of those jaded women. I don't see how or why someone would want to be with me, commit to me, be a partner with me, if it hasn't happened. If I keep getting rejected. This isn't the first time someone said that i wasn't good enough, or that they couldn't love me, for no reason! I didn't do anything. I'm not perfect, and having those expectations thrown on me are really really hard to live up to. I'm not fat, I'm not that hard on the eyes.... I just don't get it. it's really hard to have someone you loved, be so cold. I just don't understand why I'm not someone that is lovable for the long term?... I have friends who love me

it started when my son's father left me... well I left him and kicked him out because of excessive drinking and irresponsibility with money. But he tried to get me for a long time... I knew it wasn't real.

When he finally gave up and met someone, it triggered panic attacks, and feelings of abdonment.

I wanted him back... I ended up meeting someone and dated him for about a year, and he just broke up with me. I again am overwhelemed with anxiety, fear, I want to just die, I cry for hours till I'm exhausted and I have a headache. I don't even want him back, it's just the rejection. My mom left me, my dad abused me. Both sides of my family left me for dead. I've been on my own since I was 16. I used to be able to date, and let go, sometimes it would hurt if I got dumped. but now as I'm older.. something snapped with my son's father. he was my pillar. My most recent ex, wants to be in my life still, and we hung out the other night... so it's relieved a lot of the panic. I hate being alone. I like to go out to festivals, and events and just being around people... what is up with me, how can I fix this. I'm so afraid of getting into another relationship for fear of the attachment, and loosing someone again.

so I am experience my first small business drama. let me say first that I have a background

in the Corporate world, I specialize in coordinating, between departments, companies, city officials etc.

I got out of the corporate world because I did not want to deal with the politics, drama, etc

Well our neighbors are putting on a little event to promote our businesses. A daytime parking lot event, we are each going to contribute a little something to make it a nice little event. Nothing too big, just a little event. They organized music, organized a dance class, I was going to do face painting and stuff. Well a few people asked if they could set up a table and vend. I talked about with our neighbor and we realized that it would make things too complicated, and we might get into legal issues. We decided to let people know that we could't accomidate outside vendors, but we can accept people's products, wares,etc in the stores on consignment as were both looking to add more artist, etc. I tried to address each person individually to let them know. One girl freaked out on me, and went off on how her business was a local businesss, and how dare we not include her. She went to the point of going to the third business, a bake shop and told the owner and bunch of nonsense. That was her friend. I bent over backwards to offer this girl consignment space in the store, that my customer base would love her product, that it could be more beneficial to have a permanent spot rather than a table at a small event, that i would do what I could to help her local business but i did not have the resources to put on a big event. Her friend the owner of the bake shop, called me up and threatened me, she told me how dare i think that I'm making any changes in the community, ( i did a LOT of work to the storefront to make it improved, and received many many complements from neighbors and plan to do a lot more) She basically put me down, as a person and a business. She also said that she was pulling out from the event. That even though the other business paid for these beautiful flyers to be made, and that the cake shop already committed to being there, that she didn't authorize herself to be on the flyer, and that she didn't like the way I handled myself with her friend, she was pulling out. I'm appalled at how vindictive and spiteful their actions are. I am also very sorry for the other girl who got caught in the middle, she was putting on the event, and they are threatening their hard work. I'm not sure how to respond. I'm just disgusted by it. What do I do? What is the most professional and high road thing I can do? I'm honestly afraid of these women now, I'm afraid of them bad mouthing my business, or worse. I feel very defense and the need to protect my business. I'm thinking about writing a public information release regarding the situation and posting it on the website.. not sure if that is overacting....

My boyfriend and I were together for about a year. Everything was going great. I am 30 with a child and he is 27. We got along, never got into fights, had really great communication, loved spending time together. He would always cook dinner, pick flowers, he helped me with my projects. Made me special gifts. He seemed to be making love to me during sex. The hardest parts were that our schedules were opposite. It got a little frustrating. I asked him about living together, as we had talked about in the past, and my lease is ending soon. He flipped out and dumped me. He says that he doesn't love me, think that he can do better. ( all my friends thought I could do better) says he doesn't want to be in it, cuz he wants his free time... I never stopped him from having free time, doing his projects. I would try to help him, and be there for whatever he wanted to do, I would leave on the weekends and go to festivals to work, so he had plenty of free time. He doesn't have any real complaints against me, and seemed to enjoy the relationship... so I'm really confused for him to just bail on me after a year. It seemed that he did love me. If he didn't love me, then why would he go to the trouble of showing it? I don't want to make the same mistake again, but I'm realizing that I won't be able to trust another person, that I won't trust anything they do to show me they love me. I won't be able to open up my heart, trust someone to be able to love me. How can i know the difference if it's real or not?

I found out I had a good voice in my late teens, early twenties i was very shy, and only sang for a few people, but they all said it was good. After having a baby, and smoking pot, and life stress, I can't sing as good. Very frustrating.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety since i was a teenager.

I recently had a whole bunch of stressful situations happening, and a friend gave me a xanax.

I took a 1/4 of the bar, and it really worked. at first I felt really tired, but after that I felt great. The anxiety was gone. The racing thoughts were gone, I could focus on my task, my panic was gone. I wasn't crying in tears, freaking out. I've tired wellbutrin, and effexor in the past, but it just made me feel really out there. Emotionless, numb and couldn't perform at work. I've been smoking pot for the past few years to manage my anxiety. However, since I'm in a state where it is not legal, it's kinda a hassle. Maybe eating it in food would be best, but it's so costly to make food with it. Plus I can't concentrate. It's somthing for the end of the day to unwind. I need something I can take and do my work. I think that if I could try something that was for anxiety only, it would work for me. I can handle depression it's just the anxiety that I can't. I can't see a psychytrist, ( I know it's spelled wrong, please don't judge me) I can go to a primary care doc, but they only spend 10 minutes with you, and so I feel that I should try to find the name of some drugs to try, instead of having to start all over at the top, with lexapro, etc then come in after a month of walking around in a coma, to say it didn't work. the depression and anxiety meds don't work. too strong, too much, just need help with calming the nerves. and something light.

After having a baby, I had some issues with my tailbone, and sitting up. I did yoga, and stuff and it's better, I can sit up again! however I can't seem to target the right muscles for my stomach. I don't feel they are tight enough, and they used to be very tight beforehand,