qdougydoug

First, before you judge me (though I'm sure you already have), I want to make it clear that I'm not making excuses for anything, and that, yes, I realize that this is the worst thing I have ever done in my life.

Story:

I was a young depressed angry adolescent. My parents were divorced and my dad remarried to a vicious b*tch of a stepmother whom I hated. They had a kid, my first half-sister.

Around the same time I was exploring sexual stuff. There's a lot messed up here which I'm not going to get deep into, but basically I decided I was abstinent, and yet in masturbation I found a release valve for all the pressures and stress I felt in my life.

I was horny all the time. Pretty much any time I was alone, and there was TV or a computer or even a book or something, I was touching it.

So this is the first time I have ever written about or talked about this, ever, so I apologize in advance if it's crude.

One day I was in front of the TV as usual, dad and stepmom in the kitchen cooking dinner, I saw through the curtained glass door my (not sure how old she was? I think it was less than one year old. couldn't speak. definitely old enough to crawl) half-sister coming up to push it open. I always got really mad when she did this (because I wanted privacy, duh), and she really loved the TV. This time, she just pushed it open, and I just didn't bother putting it away in time. She wandered up to me while I was still watching whatever was turning me on, and I distinctly remember wanting to hurt her. I used to hate her like I hated my stepmom. She crawled up to me, I took her hand, and I put the hand on my it.

That's it. The molesting itself didn't actually turn me on or anything like that, and I realized at the same time I wasn't going to get one off in time for dinner, so I just put it away. Not sure what happened to my sis, maybe I tried to get her mom to take her away from the TV again.

This was the only time anything like that happened. Thankfully, I was only that stupid once.

And, once again, yes. I know. That's f*ed up.

The Question:

I'm much healthier now, and I've worked through a lot of my personal issues. I've grown much closer to my birth sister (whom I was much meaner to when I was younger), and to my TWO beautiful half-sisters. I love them both to death, and would do anything for them (not just out of guilt, though I'm sure that's a factor partly because they also hate our dad, who just doesn't know how to love someone without manipulating them). I want nothing but to be the best brother I can.

This event still haunts me though. It's actually quite a big step for me even to admit it to a bunch of strangers over the internet. The big questions I still have on my mind is: does she know? Is she subconsciously affected by this (and will it come back to her?)? And basically all these questions boil down to: what's the best thing I can do for her?

I'm honestly not sure whether I should even have this conversation with her when she's older. You're only as sick as your secrets, as they say, but I'm at the point where I don't mind going down as long as she lives a happy and full life. If she starts being affected because of the event and doesn't know why, then DEFINITELY I am going to have this talk with her, but if she just generally kicks *** and benefits from our current relationship I'm just not so sure I want to mess it up just so I can finally confess (it wouldn't seem fair to me to lift a burden off me to put one on her for a situation where she did nothing wrong).

Ok, that's as much as I can write. Thoughts? Advice?

•All abortions are wrongful (life at conception, murder is murder).

•Some abortions are wrongful (say, frivolously using abortion instead of contraception).

•Some abortions are rightful (if a responsible person makes a responsible (if tough) choice to abort).

•All abortions are rightful (mothers are the priority, and have the right to rationally control whether or not they are to continue pregnancy)

Is this a good statement of positions?

What I want to know are how far are your limits? Pro-lifers: how far are you willing to consider abortion? (rape, imminent death of the mother, deformed fetuses, whatever) Pro-choicers: are there certain cases where abortion should be illegal? (just as we have the right to bear arms, but some people ought not to have guns)

I'm only really interested in getting the specifics about your position. If you just want to debate abortion, do it here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al4oZ...

a. scan for relevance to your personal experience.

b. scan for worthiness of your personal experience.

c. scan for likelihood you will be able to produce a/the "best answer" and thus improve your points total.

d. repeatedly look at the profile picture to feed your fantasy that the asker is not fat.

e. stare at the question blankly, thinking W T F

f. offer silent prayers that God will smite the world's retard computer user population.

g. laugh

h. cry

i. mentally correct errors in spelling, grammar, and/or math.

j. wonder aloud why you are wasting time reading some imbecilic question that you're not even getting paid 8 bucks an hour to put up with this bull crap.

wish you were:

k. outside.

l. a bird.

m. asleep.

n. Ever wonder what exactly compelled you to read the whole damn thing.

The movie, I mean. What's wrong with it?