Sany

I've been dealing with depression for the past few years, but by now I accepted how everything is and even if things change, nothing will get better. I stopped trying to be social and found that I worry/stress less when I'm alone.

I don't mind being alone, but when I think about how I'm just being a loner while everyone around me is making memories with their friends, I can't process "happy" thoughts at all. I don't have the option of doing anything about this situation I'm in. Basically, this is how I am..

- When I'm alone I usually awkwardly stand there feeling blank considering I have nothing to do or nobody to talk to. Now I just bring a book with me everywhere so I don't have to deal with people talking to me just to be 'nice'. It honestly really annoys me when people I don't know talk to me and ask if I'm okay

- I'd rather be on the computer to socialize. I use to skype my friends every day to do gaming w/them. Things changed and I don't want to bother with them anymore..meaning while I'm on the computer watching youtube vids, I think about how happy I use to be just calling my friends while playing league or something

- If specific people talk to me, I get ticked off hoping they'd just leave me alone since I don't want to have to actually talk to them and act like I'm happy/fine..but at the same time, I want other specific people to talk to me

- I try not to talk too often in case I go overboard and do something to embarrass myself

There's more to me but yeah

https://36.media.tumblr.com/345c983504f3d625955ea7...

expectations : depressing, involves suicidal character, no old people or little kids (so basically highschool students)

I don't need all animes to live up to every single expectation, but atleast one of them is good for me

I don't remember always being like this :/ I just feel like this all came to be all at once but idk why/how

- I can't stand going through days without showering. If it's just one day of not showering, I'll feel like complete crap and gross the whole day

- Example: this girl sitting in front of me in class (our desks were really close together) she kept playing with her greasy hair and flipping it back..it's hard to explain, but I flinched due to disgust every time she did it because idk..I guess I didn't want the grease or "germs" to come in contact with me? It came to the point where it was really ticking me off..

- Every time someone sneezes/coughs, even if their cover their mouths, I feel disgusted..even if it's my own cough or sneeze, I disgust myself :/

- Example #2: After gym class (I generally use perfume and scented hand sanitizer because I'm afraid of smelling bad and getting silently judged) all I did was adjust my sock because it was slipping out..but because of that, I went around asking people for hand sanitizer

- I freak out inside whenever other people touch my face

- I always try being as distant as I can from people with bad odor in fear of their odor rubbing off on me..

Honestly, I feel like a bi tch thinking like this, but i don't know..I'm not sure if this info is useful, but I actually use to be judged a lot and got pointed out for my bad breath and odor + greasy hair, and since I'm putting a lot of effort in changing that..

I don't wanna get too deep into every detail, but basically my school has three lunches. They're not split into grades, but people have lunches depending on the certain classes they have.

Just a few quick/basic facts about myself before I go on:

- I'm constantly depressed but I hide it..a lot..and i'm tired of hiding it

- I'm anorexic and bipolar

- I'm not exactly shy, I'm just introverted..

I seriously have no friends and I've already blown my chances with everyone I know at this school, so I don't have the option to just simply "make new friends" or hang out with old ones. Also, I don't eat lunch..due to the fact I hate eating in front of other people. I've been just sitting at lunch alone not doing anything..then once a good amount of people leave the lunch room (to avoid being stared at while I just walk out alone) I just stand outside. This has been going on for months..

I just don't know what to do, bc I feel like it's gonna be like this for the rest of the year. Nothing about this has changed, and I have a feeling it won't. Advice..?

First of all, I dont have memory loss or anything. I'm talking personalty wise.

Basically I've hung out with different types of girls throughout my life (rude, nice, annoying, show offs, etc) and i've actually been copying their personality without knowing :/ and I just realized, so now I feel like a different person with a different personality every 5 minutes. I'm bipolar but I'm sure that isn't the case.

For example, one minute I could be gaming and I'd be rude/aggressive/judgmental, then 5 minutes later I would be just nice to everyone I hate and in a "kawaii" mood. It's sort of hard to explain, but yeah.

It's come to the point where I don't even know what I'm usually known as or am anymore because it literally happens every 5 minutes. this is probably a dumb question but the past half hour ive been trying to figure out what my main personality and traits are :/

is it just me or is this common? im so confused -_-

Okay so ik this sounds disgusting, but I hate the fact that I have hair in EVERY single area of my body. Butt, face, legs, you name it. People are starting to notice it and ive been made fun of for this.

I've started shaving my arms and legs, and sometimes my stomach but thats all. I just hate it when I compare myself to a girl who barely has any body hair showing :/ But lately I've constantly been getting bullied for my upper lip hair

Of course, I'm not gonna shave it ._. but I recently asked my mom if she could wax it for me (shes a pro at it, and its basically her job..) but she said that apparently waxing makes the hair grow thicker.

Okay so I know that waxing doesnt make hair grow thicker, and I know it rips the roots out so it comes out like peach fuzz but still. Ik this is a stupid question but does waxing upper lip hair really do make it grow thicker?

Also just wanted to prove myself right of knowing she was just saying that because she didnt want me doing it :/

I'm mostly looking for a n MMORPG or any game like that. I'm not looking for games meant for little kids like Roblox or Habbo, so please dont suggest games like that. Thanks

So I recently got a haircut. Before the haircut, I had long hair and it looks like the type of hair scene girls have.

But after the haircut, I looking Dora the Explorer and school starts in 1-2 weeks. I remember getting bullied for this type of hair and I'm not going back to school looking like this!

I'm more concerned about my bangs, though. As I said, I look like Dora the explorer :/ (if you dont like what she is, search her up) I've tried everything to try styling my bangs like I use to. Before the haircut I would just bring most of my hair to the right side of my head, but every time I try doing that small pieces of my bangs just hand around on my forhead and it looks terrible. I have hairspray and clips, but I ALWAYS forget to use those/put them on every motning.

So..is there any way to grow my hair out faster, and more specifically style my bangs like I use to or atleast hide them? I cant use a beanie, of course because schools wont let me.. also my bangs are right above my eyebrows..so thats how short they are and I need them atleast below my eyes by the time school starts so I can style it :/

So I'm starting summer school for math and reading for in a few days, and I just have a few questions that haven't been answered because I'm freaking out..I know these questions sound silly, but I have no intention of embarrassing myself..

1.) Are backpacks required and other supplies?

2.) Is it more simple than regular school?

3.) What time does it usually start and end?

4.) Do I get any days off?

5.) Is summer school boring and painful or fun?

6.) Is it crowded?

thats all. thank you.

I just recently broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago. All my friends are saying he's been complaining that I broke his heart, but Im really not much of a cruel person, but I dont exactly miss him or anything. (this is just extra information..)

anyways, just from your opinion, do you like being single better? or being in a relationship? Relationships are only fun while they last. when the time is over, for most people they feel like they got punched in the stomach :/ again, its your opinion. I just wanna know what you guys think is better

This is a stupid and weird question, but im concerned that my left boob is a lot smaller than my right. Is there any reason for this, and is it common? and if theres a way..how can I fix it

Im just saying whats been happening to help you guys help me with the problem

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend(now ex) 2 weeks ago. I have NO feeling or love for him, and im not saying that to make myself feel better im 100% sure im over him. A week after I broke up with him I decided I dont want to be in a relationship for years.

As bad as I want a guy, I stick to just crushing on guys and acting like one of those teenage girls fangirling over guys in their rooms with other girls. I got a new kindle fire and I downloaded 2 books. The first book is "Silence" and the other is "Broken Silence" (broken silence is the sequel) the book is a heart breaking story about a couple who has known eachother since childhood. I finished the first book (Silence) and it had an ending that caused me to cry.

Now im halfway through the sequel, which is basically continuing from the tragic moment from the first book. At the part where I am, its when the girl moves to another country, far away from the guy(im trying not to spoil the book if you plan on reading it). The book is very funny but a lot more heartbreaking and has a lot of detail in it. I stopped in the middle of the book and I plan on reading more next week because I cried soo much when I stopped reading.

whenever I read the book I think about how I wanted my ex to be the same and for some reason, I just wished I was the main female character in the book. I kinda wanted to feel the same love and affection as them. I know I sound kinda selfish, but I tried to get my mind of the stupid book as it had way to much detail, so i got a perfect image of what was going on in the book.

Again, I know I sound selfish, but now im on the computer staying AWAY from the book searching up random crap to get my mind off the love story. As every second passes by I become more depressed for no reason, and I cant seem to figure out why im depressed. I tried calling my guy friend who is great at making me laugh. we talked for hours and i did laugh a lot, but after I hung up I was depressed again right away. I even feel like the story is shoving the fact that im jealous of the fake characters and I'll never feel the same love as them in my face

Please no rude comments, those will just make me more depressed. (extra information:im very sensitive and get mad or upset easily) any explanation for my depression telling from what you've read?

please read the whole thing to understand

I feel like everybody hates me. I know you all want true facts from my life, and I can name all the times evrybody was just treating me like crap.

1.) I was getting food and my brother threw a fork at me and the pointy end hit my eye socket. it hurt like hell and I yelled at my brother. my mom heard me yelling and slapped me across the face. she didnt even care my brother threw the fork at me

2.) at lunch I was sitting with a group of friends and they all got up to leave. I was about to tag along and I heard one of my best friends say to somebody "hey, try to get (my name) to stay here. we're all sick of her being around us." and I was right behind her when she said it

3.) I was going to the kitchen to get food, and I heard my mom talking to my dad about how I was so cute when I was a todler but now im so ugly

4.) Pretty much every single one of my friends have their ways of trying to push me away. even my best friends. most the time I hear them say something about keeping me away, and other times I notice they run around a lot, but one of my guy friends told me he was talking to one of the girls she she told him they were running to get away from me, and were hoping I wouldnt find them if they run fast enough

and a lot more...I feel like everybody hates me...wat should I do? I feel like doing nothing about this but I dont wanna live like this forever. now I have nobody to hang out with. when im walking around alone I even notice my old friends staring at me and whispering+laughing

My 11 year old sister is concerned about her weight. every time she looks at any of her friends that are skinny, she becomes insecure because she thinks she has a fat belly and fat thighs. She is the average height of any 11 year old, and weighs 87 pounds. her highest was 93, and her lowest was 84. her weight keeps jumping in between 87-90 because every time she loses one pound, she rewards her self with eating junk food then gains 4 pounds the next day, and goes back to eating healthy. she really wants skinny thighs. when i tell her she's perfect the way she is, she yells at me to shut up and help her lose weight. I want her to be happy, so im helping her lose weight. She usually drinks a huge cup of milk every morning (our parents force us to) for breakfast, skips lunch, and for dinner she usually haves anything on a medium sized plate. This is what she had for dinner the past week:

Monday: 7 small pieces of fried chicken and rice

Tuesday: Rice and one hotdog with no bun

Wednesday: Rice and tofu

Thursday: 4 fish sticks

Friday: about 5-8 pieces of vegetable dumplings(idk what to call them, the dumplings with soup)

and..we havent gotten to the weekend yet. Is what she's eating too much or does she need to eat less? and..is her weight ok? I dont know how tall she is, but I know she's the average height of any 11 year old and 87 pounds right now. She's always checking out her legs and belly because she's so paranoid. She has to admit she think her lower arm looks skinny, but doesnt care about her arms.

I know this is a dumb question, I just really wanna help her

Sorry about the long story, but please I need answers. It may be amusing for those of you who dont care, but at least read the whole thing to understand what im going through.

It started out at the beginning of the school year. I was excited to see all of my friends again, but every time I tried to talk to them, they ignore me as if I never existed. I still talk to my best friend ive known for 2 years, but now she's starting to drop me as a friend. I always sat alone on the bus because all of my friends made a "group" and left me out. So every morning and afternoon, im the only person sitting in the front of the bus while everybody else sits in the back. my best friend is now a jerk. she makes fun of me and mocks me for the past mistakes ive made. she knows i feel bad but she doesnt care. then somewhere around november I got my second boyfriend. he was really nice and cute at first, but then he started annoying me and everybody else and I cant bare to be around him anymore...so I dumped him. I dont care about us not being together, but since i dumped him we've been ignoring eachother. thats when I found out about one fact about him that seems to be true. while we were dating, he actually likes 8 other girls. I was so stupid for going out with him i should have known better. I knew he liked at least 4 girls before we started dating, but he was so cute I didnt even care at the time. now I care and its just heartbreaking. (im kinda laughing now because he likes my best friend, but my best friend already has a boyfriend) then my best friend started hanging out with me more often..but has a habit of ditching me a lot. she only hangs out with me when none of her other friends are around. once she sees another friend, she ditches me. for PE everyday, we have to walk around the gym for 10 min before we actually start class. I always walk around alone now. I even catch my old friends staring at me and whispering. Theres this one huge group of girls that walk around the gym all together..and I'm not one of those girls. I tried joining them, but it felt like they were pushing me out, so I stayed out. It's still like that these days. my guy friends always ask me why I look like a loner (thats just a joke...i hope) and I just ignore what they say. this one time when we did soccer, we had to have a partner. I looked around for a partner and guess what? I ended up being partners with the teacher -_- for the bus again, I have people to sit by, but im like a back up person to sit by. only 2 of my friends take the bus now. Lets just say those 2 people are taking the bus, i got nobody to sit by. If only one of those people are taking the bus, they ask me to sit by them. but once they see their other friend, the person I was gonna sit by leaves me for her (sorry its confusing) so yeah..I just feel like the back-up person for the bus now -_- I asked my parents to drive me to school every morning then pick me up after school, but they said no becus they want me to make friends. its not working! every time I sit alone on the bus I feel more depressed every day. theres a lot more, but I dont want to make this too long. Im trying to ignore how terrible my life is..what should I do about that? Q_Q (btw, I have NO true caring friends anymore! Im their "back-up person" for every single subject or event! 80% of the time im either alone or with a teacher)

I dont mean as in a pig like a sloppy eater, I mean like the kind of pig that always goes around searching for girls to date every second of their life. if they lose one girl, they go out to the world right away and start searching again.

Let's just start out at the beginning of sectember, when it all started. It was just the first month of school. I sat at a group with people I didnt even know, but I became really close friends with one of the girls at my group in one of my classes. we only have one class together though, so we talk A LOT. we've been talking about guys we like. she said she doesnt like anyone, but when I pointed out I like the guy sitting behind us, she told me he's been telling everybody he likes her (ive been really close guy friends at the time, but I had an insane crush on him) and that she likes him as a friend, but would never go out with him. Later on he asked her out and she rejected him. he didnt even care, just a day after she rejected him, he's been telling everyone he likes me now(mainly because im the only girl he ever hangs out with and im the first person who popped into her mind. I was so excited, then 2 days later my friend rejected him, he asked me out. at first I thought he was just a pig for just getting rejected then asking me right away, but I was so excited I stupidly said yes considering I was madly in love with him.1 month later, I broke up with him for 2 reasons. 1, he's wayy too annoying and obsessive. 2, all of his friends and my friends have been telling me he likes 2 of my best friends, and this one random girl i dont even know. after i broke up we completely ignored each other..but it was hard because we always see eachother and we have 3 class periods together. after I broke up, a week later pretty much the entire grade has been talking about how he said he likes my new friend. my friend says he's cute like a teacup puppy, but doesnt wanna go out with him because he's one of her best guy friends and it would feel weird. he will ask her out in a few days because all of his friends are telling me he said that. but I dont care considering he's a jerk...does all of this mean he's a player/pig?

im sorry about my bad english, and sorry about this long question. please read the whole thing, and I really need answers

I'm only 14, but I've been thinking back when I was around 5-10 yrs old. those were the times all of my friends always had parties and sleepovers and doing crazy childish things and going to a friend's house, but my parents never let me to any of that. like this one time I was invited to my best friend's b-day party, I made her a cute locket from scrap but I couldnt go to the party. I just explained to my parents I'd give her the gift at school, but they made me discard the gift I worked 6 hours on! they just said its a waste of time to make it and give it to her and that she's just an ordinary girl like everybody else. While all my friends were doing hw with a friend or at a birthday party, sleepover, ect...every single day im stuck in my house looking out my window watching kids have fun (im not even kidding if I had nothing to do I'd always just look out the window for hours watching other kids play outside) and my parents dont even let me outside to ride my bike in the neighborhood or something...eventually I gave up at age 11. I got use to not living a normal childhood and being trapped in my house. My life isnt even normal..my family would have breakfast at 12:00 if we had no school, skip lunch, and eat dinner at 2:00. on school days since I eat lunch at 12:00, I get home at 3:00 so my parents choose to have dinner right when I get home. I nevr even have breakfast, they just give me a huge cup of milk every morning and it always gives me stomachaches and they dont care. Now that im 14, my friends are having even more 2-3 hour house visits and short parties and theyre all inviting me to them, but I always have to turn them down because of my stupid parents. I told my best friend about my life and childhood, and she said im not living a normal childhood and that I shouldnt be trapped in my house like this. even these, days, when im all done with homework I just look out my window for hours because my parents dont allow me my phone or tv at certain times. should I just leave things as it is and keep doing the same routine since I cant change my parent's mind on letting me go to at least an important school event (they dont let me go to those either)

My friends are all telling me he still really likes me, but he claims he's in love with one of my best friends. I can name soo many moments..but im only naming the creepy/most awkward. (my ex and i only broke up a few weeks ago so I guess he's still not over me)

1.) In the morning before school started, I was walking around the school with my friend. We were talking about my ex, and I saw him coming near us at the corner of my eye but I just kept looking down at my phone pretending I didnt see him..but my friend kept whispering to me he's really scaring her because he keeps staring at us. I told her to clam down and act like me, then freak out when he's gone..one I thought he was gone I looked up and he was nowhere to be seen(I should have looked behind me..) I literally yelled out "YES..MY STUPID EX IS FINALLY GONE (best friend's name)" but my ex was actually standing right behind me and my friend talking to one of my best guy friends...my best friend (shes a girl) told me to run. I didnt know why but I saw her looking behind us, and I looked back too..I saw my ex and my best guy friend just staring at me with a shocked look on their face..then I ran away with my friend..

2.) in 5th period me and my ex have woodshop together. Since 2nd trimester just started a few weeks ago, we didnt start designing/building. our teacher took us on a tour around the woodshop area so a lot of us were in a crowd standing and walking around following the teacher as he explains what things are. I keep looking to my right and I always see my ex standing next to me and just staring at me..I scooted away and hid behind my friend..after I thought he couldnt find me, I looked over my friend's shoulder and he was STILL staring! we made eye contact for 3 seconds..then I just pulled 4 more of my friends to help me hide(thank goodness for helpful friends <3) and I thought he couldnt see me for sure because our class had like 35 people and I was squatting like a boss...I sat up, looked up, he's still staring so I just gave up and ignored him..but at the corner of my eye I can tell he's just staring at me the whole time not paying any attention to the teacher...

should I just tell him to stop or keep ignoring him (theres a good chance he'll be doing this for months..) and sorry if it doesnt make any sense..im bad with my english and im just really creeped out and annoyed