Miss D

I will be eighteen in April of 2011. I've been abused for as long as I can remember by my mother and her husband. I moved out to live with my father in April of 2010. Ever since then, I've been very emotional and angry. I am scared that it will happen again. I get so depressed when I hear a song that reminds me of her or if I go to the mall and see mothers and daughters hanging out. I want a mom. I want someone to tell my secrets too. To go shopping with. It really stinks. Since I've left, she hasn't call or visited not once. It's been almost a year now and I haven't heard from her. I know she has hurt me but it's very hard to move on. I've punched holes in the wall, I tore my whole room up, I saw countless of councelors, screamed at my father, failed my classes. It's getting to the point to where this situation is ruining my life. What can I do to be happy again and not think about it anymore???? I need help, thank you.