Joy M

I can't help but notice how many very angry adoptive parents are on this forum. I was raised by an adoptive father who could not control his rage and it manifested in much the same way as some of the posters here, long nonesical insults, breaking objects, kicking in doors, unfocused,disporportionate, fear based. Actually quite frightening, he blamed "liberals" for a lot of things, that type.

My question is, how common is this kind of anger in adoptive parents and are these questions even asked about in the home study?

In other words why are so many disturbed people allowed to adopt?

Ther seems to be a plethora of suggestions that those of us who found adoption harmful are evil and hate adoptive parents, call them baby-stealers, stalk, and want people to kill themselves. I don't.

I do want to raise awareness about what the realities of adoption can be like for the child, I do want mothers to know they have an intrisic and irreplaceable role in their children's life, I do want adoptive parents to know that their children are normal to have issues, and to be sensitive to them, I do want other adoptees to know if they struggle that they are not alone.

From my pov adoption always involves loss, but I don't think it should be thrown out, just changed. I do think people should stop suggesting to adoptees that they should just be happy they weren't aborted, but they have worth and the right to their feelings. I do want natural parents and adoptive parents to know what they are signing up for. I had caring aparents, and I care for them, although I shouldn't have to

Or are there others I am not thinking of? Should we expand the practice of people-gifts and if so how? Slaves might have been people-gifts between good friends, but that is illegal now, so that doesn't count.

If you were to be a people-gift who would you like to be given to? Would you want your recepients to rename you? What if you didn't like the name? Would it bother you if you didn't know the people you were being gifted to?

I hadn't heard of this until an adoptive mother here suggested that adoptees who don't like being adopted should be sterilized at birth.

I am wondering how they will know which ones to sterilize and isn't that illegal.

Should only adoptees who don't like adoption be sterilized or are their other opinions that people hold that should cause them to be sterlized at birth too?

Do you really believe adoption should be an unregulated 1.4 billion dollar industry?

Do you really think there is no trauma when a child is separated from his/her mother? If so have you ever read child development or books on attachment?

Is giving an infant to a financially more secure family any reason to separate a child for life from their own family? If so should you look for a richer family to take the children you now have?

How is securing children for wealthier families any different than child trafficking?

Would you like to be given to strangers so that it would be easier for your mom to pay for her education?

Given that your mom was not in H.S. but actually an adult, who could have raised you but then decided that she would rather get a doctorate?

Open to adoptees and non-adoptees alike

I don't understand, most experiences in life, especially something as profound as adoption have gradations in them, some good, some bad...

But with adoption it seems that people are determined to pretend it is all good for the adoptee and adoptive parents. All babies want one thing, their mommy, when you have a baby and keep it all the education classes really drive this home, but somehow adopted out babies are different?

Someone on Y!A recently suggested that until they start having a "bad" adoption section only they would avoid the adoption section altogether. I don't understand.

Why can't people who have had difficulty with adoption speak out about it?

Why do people think they are speaking for all people? My best adoptee IRL friend is glad she was adopted, she grieved horribly as a child, I knew her then, and I don't remember grieving at all, she baffled me when she talked about it, but I certainly didn't put her down.

As I got older I saw how adoption

Why do so many people seem to think they have an obligation to tell adoptees how they should feel about their adoption?

That we should be grateful, happy, and love our adoptive parents?

What are they so scared of?