Milk Man

I have a 2002 Chrysler Voyager 2.4 liter thats has been running rough and misses

out while driving.I have replaced the plugs and plug wires. Ihave checked for vacuum leaks and loose wires. I cant find any reason for rough idle. The codes i am getting are P0442,P0455 and P0301.

Any suggestion would be appreciated.

One early morning at 2:30 am,i was awaken by what sounded

like a knock on the door.

Surely that was just part of my dream i thought.

There it was again. The sound of a knock on the door.

I was thinking, who in the world could that be.

Is some one in my family in need of help, or worse?

My imagination was going wild.

I stumble trough the dark to the front door.

Upon opening the door i see the figure of a man.

His clothes ragged and torn.

The smell of alcohol instantly gets my attention.

I ask the man what is the problem?

Can you give me a push please?

A push,do you know what time it is?

Please,can you give me a push?

I say, ok i guess. Give me a minute. I am thinking his car must be broken down.

When i go back to the door the man is gone.

I walk outside and look for him, when i see him on the swingset.

He askes again, will you give me a push please?

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade

>>> > > students. "Human beings are the only animals that

>>> > > stutter", she says.

>>> > >

>>> > > A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat

>>> > > who stuttered", she volunteered.

>>> > >

>>> > > The teacher, knowing how precious some of these

>>> > > stories could become, asked the girl to describe the

>>> > > incident.

>>> > >

>>> > > "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my

>>> > > kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a

>>> > > running start and before

>>> > >we knew it, he jumped over

>>> > > the fence into our yard!

>>> > >

>>> > > "That must've been scary", said the teacher.

>>> > >

>>> > > "It sure was", said the little girl.

>>> > >

>>> > > "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff,

>>> > > Fffff'...And before he could

>>> > > say "F##k", the

>>> > > rottweiler ate him!"

If a man says something while in the Forest and no one is around.

Is he still wrong?

An older lady goes to the doctor for her regular checkup.

She sees the same doctor every time.

The doctor has her disrobe and sit on the table in the office.

While doing his checkup the doctor has the lady

spread her leggs. The doctor smiles and says "my Mrs Johnson you look sparkley today".

Not thinking much about it at the time she says thank you.

Later, on the way home she thinks about the comment and

starts getting upset. She works herself into a frenzy until

she can`t stand it anymore.

She calls her Daughther and explains in detail what the

doctor said to her.The Daughter trying to be compassionate

askes her Mom what she did before she went to the doctors

office. The Mother explains in detail about how she cleaned up and used some good smeling perfume she picked up at her daughters house. The Daughter pausing for a moment,

started laughing hysterically and said she wondered where

her daughters Glitter went that was in the medicine cabinet.

There once was an older lady who fell ill and was taken to the Hospital. While in the Hospital the lady died and was on her

way to Heaven when she met St Peter.

She asked St Peter if she was going to Heaven.

St Peter replied not yet, you still have a long life ahead of

you. You must go back.

The lady got better and was released from the Hospital.

Days later she decided to get a tummy tuck,a face lift,

and had her breasts enlarged. She went to a tanning

booth and got a great tan, and looked ten years younger.

On her way home from a tanning session she was struck

by a car and killed.

On her way to Heaven she met St Peter again.

She said what happened, you told me i had years to go.

St Peter looked at her said, "I didn`t recognize you"

A young Jewish boy was wanting to go out with his friends

to the mall but needed some money.

The boy askes. Father, may i have 20 dollars to go to the

mall with my friends.

The Father replys, 10 dollars why do you need 5 dollars?

A young Jewish boy was wanting to go out with his friends

to the mall but needed some money.

The boy askes. Father, may i have 20 dollars to go to the

mall with my friends.

The Father replys, 10 dollars why do you need 5 dollars?

The local Elementary school was taking the 5th grade students

on a field trip to the local horse track last week.

The children were all having a great time seeing the horses and the

jockeys and basically being out of school for the day.

When it was time to go back to the school the teacher announced that any one needing to use the restroom should do so before getting on the bus.

The boys and girls went to their respective restrooms.

The lady techer assigned to the boys had to stand in the boys restroom to make shure every thing went ok.

Noticing that some of the boys were having trouble reaching the urinals,she decides to help by picking the boys up.

One by one she helps the boys when she notices one boy in paticular has a rather large unit.

She askes the boy what grade he is in .

He says i am not in school, I am one of the jockeys but thanks for the lift.

Did you know that there are exactly 239 beans in a Boston Baked Beans can?

I didn`t believe it either, so i went to the internet and Googled

Boston Baked Beans.

Sure enough 239 in every can!! Can you believe it?

It took me awhile but Then i realized why.

If they added one more bean, It would be-------------------------

too fawty!

This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they

passed this small sandalshop.

From inside they heard a gentleman with an Indian accent say, "You

foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in.

The Indian man said to them "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like great

desert camel."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need

them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Indian man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb."

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his

feet, he got this wild look in his eyes,something his wife hadn't seen in many years-raw sexual power!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Indian man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Indian's thighs.

The Indian then began screaming, "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats a good one!

I have one for you.

There is a young up and coming illusionist doing a gig on a cruise ship. The night is young. The atmosphere is spectacular.

The young mans sets up his first illusion. It is a dissapearing coin.

The trick goes off without a hitch,when in the crowd the silence was broken by what sounds like the voice of a Parrot.

Araw! Its in his sleeve!

The young man, not bothered by the Parrot, performs his next trick. A dissapearing set of keys. Again the trick is performed with ease. Then out in the audience.

Araw! Their in his pocket. Araw!

By now the performer is getting perturbed.

For his next act he gets a person from the audience to help him.

A young beautiful lady. The young lady is placed in a box and the door is closed. The performer spins the box,opens the door, and in amazement the young lady is gone. When again from the crowd.

Araw! shes under the box,shes under the box. Araw!

The performer is getting pi#@%ed to say the least. When all of a sudden the boat comes to sudden stop. Explosions are going on all around. Everything goes dark.

When the performer wakes up he finds himself floating in the the ocean on a chunk of wood.All alone he thinks.

Then he notices the Parrot floating on a piece of wood in front of him.

The two stare at each other for a long period of time without saying a word.

Then the Parrot breaks the silence.

Araw! Ok, i give.

Where did you put the boat?