Scarlett

It's like living in fear that there is a mystical sky-being (or whatever your concept of "God" is) who knows everything you're doing, and is judging you constantly (a bit like Google or Prism). It's like having a father who hates you because he knows exactly all the sh*t you get up to. And if he doesn't find you revolting, then by loving you he is condescending enormously. And then there's the prospect of the final judgement: I don't think I'd pass that one. I'm just thinking about all the times I dissed him in front of his homies (Christians).

If there is a God (and I hope not) then I'm pretty sure I've already blown it with him. Doesn't the idea of there being an omniscient God make you want to open your wrists, then put the knife down (it was blunt anyway) because you realise that would only make you meet him sooner?

I mean, say there is a heaven and/or hell when we die, and we get confronted with this angry man (or cloud, whatever) who's like, "You little sh*t, how dare you ever question my existence! Why didn't you give me your sincerest praise, and devote your every waking hour to my glory? I can't believe those gay jokes you made about my son!" & so on.

Surely we'd be like, "But God, Your Almightiness, you never gave us solid evidence to work from. I mean, a pile of dusty old books and scrolls? What about the dinosaur bones? It's like you wanted us to doubt you! You can't punish me for not believing, when you gave me so little reason to do so. So what, now I have to endure eternal torture because it wasn't a part of your 'grand plan' to definitively reveal yourself to humanity? Dude, you have issues. I can't believe I'm made in your image. Where's the eject button? I want out!"

It probably wouldn't go like that, but you get the idea. So, wouldn't this God (let's pretend he's real for the sake of hypothesis) be truly unjust, and more than a little hypocritical?

I sort of ran away from my uncle's family when I was 16, and haven't lived with them properly since, and now I'm independently wealthy I no longer need to. I'm now 19 and I'm the only one of my friends at university who doesn't go back to their family at the end of the semester (unless I'm sufficiently bribed and/or blackmailed). Most of the time my family and I aren't even in the same country. I guess I'm unusual, so I was wondering what the "norm" is.

Basically I'm in love with her and don't know how to deal. The awkward thing is the feeling is mutual, but we're both (broadly speaking) straight. Also our boyfriends get suspicious and/or jealous when we pay more attention to each other than to them.

Anyway, the question is: how, exactly, do I get over her? (While remaining good friends of course, just not quite as good).

I accept that the Big Bang and evolution are the most likely reasons for our existence, but I find these explanations boring so I pretend to believe in things like fairies and that. It's fun because it gets on everyone's t*ts.

Can you provide details? I'm not interested in witticisms.

As in, if you had sex outside marriage BEFORE converting. Also, could you still become a monk or nun? Why, or why not?

My female cousin is nearly a year older than me, and we've lived together like sisters with her dad and older brother since my parents died when I was five. We've always been very close, though we've always argued a lot and she used to be really controlling of me when we were younger. Now I'm getting married before her, and she's really jealous and is refusing to come to the wedding though I asked her to be maid of honour. This is very upsetting for me, as for most of my life she's been like my sister and my best friend. I think this is part of a deep-rooted jealousy from when we were kids, as I came to live with her family and got a lot of attention because of being an orphan, and she's always been very paranoid that my uncle (her father) prefers me to her. I'm not sure what to do about it, and I can't get her to talk to me. We're both at university at opposite ends of the country, which makes talking to her properly about it more difficult. Could I please have some advice on how to handle things? It means a lot to me that she's at my wedding, but if I can't have that I don't want to lose her altogether.

I know you don't choose partners based on their name, but do you think their name makes a difference at all to how you view them?

When she is 19 and he is 37, even if they're in love?

For some reason not many of my friends seem to do it, or have only tried it once.

My personal favourite is 19th century rake and innocent young harlot (I like Dickens, lol).

Gladiator has also taught me that I like Roman centurion armour: it manages to make a skirt look manly.

Being young myself (I'm 19), most guys my age aren't fully mature yet so I don't find them as attractive as older men. How many girls feel the same way, or differently?

For a while now I've been secretly seeing one of my uncle's business acquaintances. He's much older than I am (I'm 19, he's 37), but I've never been too interested in people my own age, and he's very experienced and has a certain calmness, confidence and worldly wisdom that younger men lack. I know I'm in love with him, but I'm concerned that other people (especially my uncle, who raised me) might think I'm marrying him for material reasons. The feelings I have for him are much stronger than I've had for anyone else, and the thought of saying no and losing him is awful to me. To further complicate things, he has a seven-year-old son that lives with him part of the time, though this doesn't particularly bother me as his son's really sweet (we first met when I babysat him) and we get on well. I understand that if I marry him I will lose a lot of time I could have had to 'enjoy' myself, but I can sense that I will greatly regret it if I say no. Also, any prospects for my future career shouldn't be compromised if marry him as he lives in London where my university is; which also means we'd be able to live together full-time. I'm not asking for people to tell me what I should do as I think I am already decided, but I would appreciate other people's advice and would like some guidance on how to speak to my uncle about it should we get engaged.

I never thought it did... But the other day my boyfriend told me had slept with one while he was away at uni and apologised to me for it. At first I didn't know how to respond because I didn't see anything wrong with it, and so I told him I didn't care. He seemed surprised, and then - predictably - very pleased about the whole thing lol. Was I wrong not to be angry? It's not like there was any romance involved...

Her boyfriend and I are really close, and last night he told me he thinks he's gay and has had sex with some of the guys at his school while they've been going out (and prior to). The thing is, I'm actually better friends with him than I am with her, so I think it might be somewhat disloyal for me to tell her. But, one of his friends told me before that he only asked out his g/f to prove he wasn't gay, in which case I think it's unfair that he's using her... But on the other hand, I call her a "friend" when I don't even like her that much. I know that - ethically speaking - I should tell his g/f, but I also don't want to risk my friendship with her boyfriend.

Basically, my boyfriend and I have been friends for about 2 years but have been together about 3/4 months, and my friends say that our relationship is "weird" because we don't show affection all/most of the time like other couples do and we have this inside joke that we don't actually like each other. For example, my b/f will call my phone and ask to speak to one of his friends, or he asks me if I want to go out and I say no. There's also the fact that we have some pretty heated arguments, but we actually like arguing with each other so it doesn't actually bother me. My friends also say that a lot of his behaviour is controlling, for instance he often locks me in his car while he goes into his house to get something, his excuse being that he doesn't want to "lose" me. Another thing is that one time when we were fooling around while drunk, he accidentally fractured one of my ribs and he took me to A&E and he got arrested because they thought he'd been abusing me, which freaked out a lot of my friends. But the other thing is, some of them say they're jealous because he's really intelligent, witty and good-looking, and we're best friends and we actually get one another, etc... But they also say that he's arrogant and a bit selfish. Anyway, I'm not planning on breaking it off with him; I'm just curious as to how other people view our relationship, or what they think should constitute a "good" relationship.

I personally can't stand the commitment of a relationship, enjoy my own space WAY too much for cohabitation and never want to get married or procreate. I'm guessing other people have opinions on this too...

It's in this play, 'Dancing at Lughnasa', and I really want to know the answer :/

Just interested in the international perspectives on our little island, and what Brits think themselves, of course :)

I'm pro-choice (abortion); pro-euthanasia; against capital punishment; an atheist; lost my virginity at 14 and am now 16 (bear in mind this is pretty normal in the UK, where I'm from); not against prostitution although I probably wouldn't do it myself; I'm a Liberal Democrat; I'm an A* student and planning to apply for Oxbridge (UK equivalent of Ivy League); might join the armed forces if I don't get into a classical studies course; I often go to parties and get very drunk then act a little decadent; I'm a pathological narcissist and have suffered from depression, anorexia nervosa and now have a little OCD (I pace my room a lot). Sometimes I feel like I'm under so much pressure to be good and conform that I just want a release. I'm sort of sick of people judging me but I just want an honest opinion from an unbiased stranger.