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My ex and I have been on and off all this month(December). We had been together 3 years December 2nd of this month. Well she texted me the other day while I was at work and said I love you and that's why I want you to move on and told me that she would still like to be friends and talk and stuff. Well I was at the local mall last night and I ran into her and we hugged and talked for awhile and she said she misses me and everything but was acting really weird. She told me that she's not seeing anyone else and that she's been smoking weed twice a day and has been drinking a lot. She never drank or smoked or did anything when she got with me and the whole time we were dating because I don't do any of those. Well she ended up calling me the same night(last night) we saw each other at the mall but I didn't because I was asleep and she left me a voicemail that was really sweet and told me that it was really nice seeing me and all this stuff and I texted her when I woke up before I left for work and texted her throughout the day but never heard a word from her. It's 10 PM and I started texting her at 8am this morning so I know she got my messages. Why is she so different from day to day? She can't make her mind up and I feel like I can't move on with her being like this although I'm sure if she wanted to get back with me I'd drop everything and get back with her because I love her DEARLY and this is all hurting me so much!!!! :(

Sorry this is so long.........It all started in April, things went all to hell with my girlfriend and I of 2.5 years. Our relationship was always good or so I thought. We never broke up once up until April of this year(2010). I'm 20, she's 19. She said she wasn't happy and didn't know what she wanted and blah blah blah that went on for a month and we broke up 6 times within that one month and I got back with her every time. We've been back together for about 3 weeks now and things have seemed okay. When we first got back together I caught her talking to this guy that she knew from awhile back and she was talking about meeting up with him and having dinner BEHIND my back "without me knowing". All she did was talk **** about me to this guy and make up tons of lies. She didn't deny any of it and apologized and I forgave her for it because she said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

We both have each others email account passwords and that was mutual. I see nothing wrong with it because I don't have a single thing to hide. I've never even so much as thought about cheating on her. I noticed that she changed her password and it made me feel weird. I didn't mention it but I saw that she left her email open one day and I hopped on it. She had emails from Match.com, ashleymadison.com, and some other website. Here is what gets to me so bad and doesn't make a BIT of sense to me...

My girlfriend is Caucasian(she's VERY and I mean VERY fair skinned), 5'10" tall and 205 pounds and on the match.com website she put that she was Brazilian, 135 pounds, and 5'6" tall. That's not it though......On the AshleyMadison website her name is bi38d or something like that. She put that she was older than she actually is and that she's only interested in females. What the ****? She has never shown any interest whatsoever to any females that I have known of. She doesn't put a picture of herself on any of these websites and she flirts with a bunch of people on them. On the AshleyMadison website the motto is "Life's short, have an affair" and on her profile there's a thing that says "My limit:" and beside that it says Cyber Affair/Erotic Chat. So I take it she's wanting to engage in some cyber sex of some sort?! I don't understand any of this. It makes no sense to me. She tells me all the time that she loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else and that she is very satisfied with our sex life! I'm not sure where to go from here. She doesn't know that I know about any of this and I think that it's complete bullshit that she lied to me AGAIN about this and even went a couple steps further this time. I love her so much and WANT to be with her and make things work but I've put SOOOOOO much in and have gotten so little out lately. I'm tired of being in a one sided relationship! How should I bring it up to her? Thanks for your help! :/

First off...I apologize for this being so long...Today is my Girlfriend and I's 2.5 year anniversary. I'm 20 and she is 19. We started dating back in high school. I knew her 5 years prior to dating her(she lives right up the street from me and I was/am still friends with her brother through school). We always had a great relationship. We have been through a lot together. We were in a bad car accident together and about 2 months after we started dating she was pregnant and had a miscarriage. It was always fun, exciting, passionate, there was tons of trust. We spent every moment we could together and we both loved and enjoyed every second of it! Back in early April of this year she started acting funny saying she wasn't happy, she didn't know what she wanted anymore and that she wanted me to change and all this stuff and I found out that she was talking to two other guys(on the internet and she doesn't even know them) behind my back. Not in a sexual way but in a way of wanting to date someone else. She broke up with me 6 times back in April and I saw the messages she sent the guys and they were pretty hurtful. She told them tons of lies about me and showed no remorse for what she was doing to me. She also went out with her friends and got piss drunk and smoked quite a bit of weed. She never did any of these things when she was with me. She also quit her job that paid good. I'm not sure if she was just wanting to go out on a crazy spree or what??!!! When I told her that I knew about her messaging these other guys she started crying and saying sorry over and over and I forgave her. My family and friends and even her family told me I had already given her too many chances with the way she was treating me but I love her and wanted to make it work. We got back together 2 weeks ago and she stopped all the craziness and stopped messaging the guys and things seem back to normal.

I've never once thought about cheating on her because I love her so much and wouldn't want to put that on anyone. I've never so much as talked to another girl in more than a friendly way. My feelings have changed for her though. She put me through so much hurt and I was/still am so angry with her. Those 6 times she broke up with me she'd want to meet up with me and hang out when it was convenient for her then go out and be crazy with her friends. She'd break up with me after a couple days of us dating and I kept telling myself I wouldn't go back with her but I did. I want this to work and she keeps telling me she wants to move on and that she loves me and that she made a huge mistake. I want to move on also and I love her dearly but these change of feelings make me feel weird around her. It's almost like I don't know who she is anymore. I feel so much anger towards her for what she did to me and I have HUGE trust issues with her now. We've been through so much together and have so many plans together. I'm just not sure how to go about moving on with her. I still want to be with her even through all of this and I still love her dearly. I want to make this work and I love her! Help please??!!! Mature answers only also. Thank you very much for your help!

First off......Let me apologize for this being so long there's just a lot to it and this isn't half of it.....A little bit of background info...My fiance and I had been together for 2.5 almost 3 years and last month things just went all to hell. We always had a GREAT relationship and there was so much trust it was unreal. I loved the relationship and so did she! I'm 20 and she's 19. It all started when she got a new job back in December of 2009. She met this girl named Brittany who is a pothead, heavy drinker etc. Well my fiance started hanging around her and started doing the same thing. We broke up 5 times in one month(April 2010) and I'd get back with her every time. I loved her and wanted to make it work so I tried my best to make it work. I found out a couple times that we got back together that she was talking to other men and wanted to meet up with them and have dinner and when I confronted her about it she said she was "just telling someone she'd do something but it would never happen" and that she "was being her old self" meaning she was acting like how she used to before us. Well we got back together even through all this and everything has seemed great! Almost like it did before...I don't understand what her problem is. Everytime we broke up I was always there waiting for her except for the last time we broke up when I found out about her talking to this guy I told her I never wanted to speak to her or see her ever again and good riddance and she basically came crawling back to me on her knees crying and wanting me back! It was almost like she wanted me to do that or something.

We've been back together for almost a week now. Fast forward to yesterday(May 20th, 2010)...Her email was open and I checked it and what do you know??!! She's still talking to the same guy she was before and she's also talking to someone else now and she's telling the guy all these lies about me about how I'm controlling and everything(I'm not at all! SHE is the controlling one). What makes all of this just that much more messed up is that she was talking to these guys through email on her BlackBerry while she was in the same room with me! She also sent a picture of her A$$ to a guy and told him she's Brazilian(mind you she's the most fair skinned white person you've ever seen in your life). I don't see why she's acting so crazy!? I mean she over drafted her bank account almost $800. I didn't even think that was possible but I have the bank statements at hand. She's just doing crazy stuff after crazy stuff and she's not accepting my help. When she does realize that I was there for her 150% like I always have been it will be too late!!!! I feel like she's ruining her life. Here is where I need help/advice.........I'm taking her out to dinner tonight. She doesn't know that I know that she's still talking to the same guy and that she sent a picture to that guy. How do I go about bringing this up? The last time I brought it up I flew off the handle because I was so mad, angry, confused and tired of being lied to! For some ODD reason, there's still a part of me that wants to make this work. I love her to death but she has ruined my trust in her. I guess loving someone dearly and being faithful to them just isn't enough. Thank you very much for your help!

I'll start off with a little background info....I'm 20 years old and my girlfriend is 19 years old. We were High School Sweetheart's and I knew her 6 years prior to us dating(I was best friends with her brother all my life). I love her to death!!!!! We've been dating for near 2.5 years now. We've always been VERY close and have had a great relationship. We never broke up or had any major fights or anything. Well one day out of the blue about two weeks ago I got a text message saying I'm unhappy, I'm not sure what I want anymore blah blah blah and she ended up breaking up with me over a text message. She came to my house and we ended up back together within thirty or so minutes. Things were fine for a couple days and then bam it happened again just out of nowhere and it's happened 3 times since then. I ended up finding out from her that on the 3rd time we broke up(we've broke up 5 times within two weeks) that she met up with some guy from her work and he liked her blah blah blah come to find out he was some fat, hairy 34 year old with a 12 year old daughter and a few felonies. Yes you read that right it is 200% true! What she saw in him I don't know and neither does her family. Well she ended up telling him to leave her alone and we ended up getting past that. I'm skipping a ton of details but it's almost 4:00 in the morning and I'm too tired for details.

The last time we broke up was sort of a mutual agreement because she said she was so "stress free" when we weren't together and that she couldn't do what was best for her because she's so worried about me. I told her I was sorry I made her so unhappy and for "keeping her from things". She kept telling me she wasn't getting things out of the relationship she needed like for me to be more romantic and stuff. I'm not exactly sure how to do all of that I mean yeah I know some things but this is my FIRST serious relationship and it's like she's holding it over my head. Well after we broke up this last time(2 days ago) we broke up around 7 in the evening and I got a call from her at 10:30 that night asking if I'd meet up with her and I did. She said she had something she wanted to run by me and it was that me and her would still see each other and be around each other and everything and still be faithful to each other but we just weren't going to put the label "relationship" on it. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant by it but I agreed to it. Well she comes to my house after she gets out of work the next day and runs up to me and hugs me and we kissed for what seemed like 5 minutes and she was like i WANT you to be my boyfriend for sure. I agreed because I love her to death and care about her more than anything! I forgot to mention that we were also engaged before all this happened. We had plans of getting married. She acts weird now though. She was fine the night she told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend but now she's just flat out mean and she literally acts like she can't stand to be around me and like she hates me. I'm not being treated fairly by her because I'm being as sweet and nice as I can be TRYING MY HARDEST to make this work because that is what I want. She told me she wants to make it work also and she keeps telling me to stop worrying because I have absolutely nothing to worry about but I can't help it when she acts that way. She's also on Facebook on her phone and texting ALL the time now. She wasn't like that before. YAY for trust issues :( She told me when we got back together that she really wanted to make it work and that she was making a huge mistake letting me go so many times before and she was sorry and that she just couldn't throw 2.5 years away like that. It felt so good to hear that but now she's just plain mean and acts like she can't stand me. I don't know what to do. I've tried to talk to her about it but she just gets defensive and gets even more mad. She used to be so sweet. The only thing she tells me is that her job stresses her out and makes her hate her life. That's what she told me today and when I try to get further in depth talking about it with her she just drops the subject yet tells me I never talk to her about anything. I told her it wasn't fair that she takes her stress out on me I basically told her that she used me as a punching bag and she said she was sorry. I can go all day without seeing her and she'll stop by my house or something after work and when I see her I just get an instant attitude from her but she acts fine toward other people. I don't understand. I'm not doing anything wrong to her. She's acting like she's bi-polar or something! I try to talk to her about her problems but it usually turns into an argument when it should never even begin to be one. I'

Please bear with me......This is a pretty long question haha.......A couple days ago my girlfriend well, fiancee of 2-1/2 years just completely out of the blue told me that she wasn't happy. She said that our relationship is going nowhere and that she just wasn't happy and that she wanted to move on. We got in a huge fight and she broke up with me but we ended up getting back together.

Ok, a day later she's acting fine while she's texting me and she comes over to my house and picks me up and we're on the way to get some dinner and she wasn't hardly saying anything to me. I asked her what's wrong multiple times and she finally just said I don't want to talk about it. I told her I wasn't going to put up with that again because she really really hurt me bad the day before. She took me back to my house and we sat out in the car and she broke up with me again. I tried my best to change her mind and to tell her to just stop and think about what she's doing but she just drove off. I called my buddy(her brother in law) crying and told him to call her and tell her to please stop and to just go home. She wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts whatsoever and my buddy finally got ahold of her and she wanted me to meet her somewhere. I get out of my car and she runs up to me crying and hugs me and says she's sorry repeatedly. We sat in her car and she said she went to a bunch of her friends' houses and they all told her the exact same thing....You have a damn good man who loves you so much you're an absolute dumbass for doing that to him. I even saw some of the text messages her friends sent her so I know it's true. Her friends have always liked me because they say I'm so great to her and that I'm perfect for her. I've never even thought of cheating on her and I've been so good to her this entire time and she said it's not me at all whatsoever it was just her and that she was unhappy with herself. She says I'm the perfect dream boyfriend/fiance so I don't know what the deal is...We ended up getting back together that night and things had been great up until today when she started acting somewhat weird today. Everyone tells me to just break up with her but I just can't do it. I love her way too much and I want to be with her but I don't think she wants to be with me. She swears up and down that she wants to but I just don't know. I need advice and plenty of it!!!!! Please help!

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year now. She was put on the depo shot and gained quite a bit of weight about a month or two into us going out. She gained about 30-40 pounds. I'm about 6'4-6'5 and about 220 pounds and i'm not exactly happy with the way I look and she tells me she loves the way I look but I think its because she's insecure about her weight and she doesn't want me to lose any. Everytime I say I want to start going to the gym she turns it into something else like the last time I told her I wanted to start exercising she asked me why i'm so secretive about stuff and I was like wtf and she said that I never want her to go with me that I want to go alone but I want her to it's just when I ask her if she wants to she doesn't want to go. I don't feel as healthy as I used to and I really want/need to start exercising. I love her to death and I don't want anything to happen between the two of us I just don't know what to do it's so hard to talk to her about it =/ I'm at wits end, help please?!?!?!

My fiance and I have been together for a year and we've had a damn good relationship I believe. We've had our little fights and stuff but we've always made up right away and just forgot about it. I love her more than life itself and I know she feels the same way about me. I've never done anything she wouldn't approve of and i'm as faithful as I can be to her! I've noticed it since we had been going out for about 5 months that she "checks up on me". Everytime I lay my phone down she'll pick it up and start going through it like looking through my text messages or my phone calls. It's weird because I don't have a single girls phone number in my phone besides someone in my family and she knows that. I asked her the other night if she goes through my phone to check up on me and the answer I got was "no comment". Why do girls do this? It's getting to me and it hurts my feelings! Does she not trust me?