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Las siete reglas de Paracelso

1º Lo primero es mejorar la salud. Para ello hay que respirar con la mayor frecuencia posible, honda y rítmica, llenando bien los pulmones, al aire libre o asomado a una ventana. Beber diariamente en pequeños sorbos, dos litros de agua, comer muchas frutas, masticar los alimentos del modo más perfecto posible, evitar el alcohol, el tabaco y las medicinas, a menos que estuvieras por alguna causa grave sometido a un tratamiento. Bañarte diariamente, es un habito que debes a tu propia dignidad.

2º Desterrar absolutamente de tu ánimo, por mas motivos que existan, toda idea de pesimismo, rencor, odio, tedio, tristeza, venganza y pobreza.

Huir como de la peste de toda ocasión de tratar a personas maldicientes, viciosas, ruines, murmuradoras, indolentes, chismosas, vanidosas o vulgares e inferiores por natural bajeza de entendimiento o por tópicos sensualistas que forman la base de sus discursos u ocupaciones. La observancia de esta regla es de importancia decisiva: se trata de cambiar la espiritual contextura de tu alma. Es el único medio de cambiar tu destino, pues este depende de nuestros actos y pensamientos. El azar no existe.

3º Haz todo el bien posible. Auxilia a todo desgraciado siempre que puedas, pero jamás tengas debilidades por ninguna persona. Debes cuidar tus propias energías y huir de todo sentimentalismo.

4º Hay que olvidar toda ofensa, mas aun: esfuérzate por pensar bien del mayor enemigo. Tu alma es un templo que no debe ser jamás profanado por el odio. Todos los grandes seres se han dejado guiar por esa suave voz interior, pero no te hablara así de pronto, tienes que prepararte por un tiempo; destruir las superpuestas capas de viejos hábitos, pensamientos y errores que pesan sobre tu espíritu, que es divino y perfecto en si, pero impotente por lo imperfecto del vehículo que le ofreces hoy para manifestarse, la carne flaca.

5º Debes recogerte todos los días en donde nadie pueda turbarte, siquiera por media hora, sentarte lo más cómodamente posible con los ojos medio entornados y no pensar en nada. Esto fortifica enérgicamente el cerebro y el Espíritu y te pondrá en contacto con las buenas influencias. En este estado de recogimiento y silencio, suelen ocurrírsenos a veces luminosas ideas, susceptibles de cambiar toda una existencia. Con el tiempo todos los problemas que se presentan serán resueltos victoriosamente por una voz interior que te guiara en tales instantes de silencio, a solas con tu conciencia. Ese es el daimon de que habla Sócrates.

6º Debes guardar absoluto silencio de todos tus asuntos personales. Abstenerse, como si hubieras hecho juramento solemne, de referir a los demás, aun de tus más íntimos todo cuanto pienses, oigas, sepas, aprendas, sospeches o descubras. por un largo tiempo al menos debes ser como casa tapiada o jardín sellado. Es regla de suma importancia.

7º Jamás temas a los hombres ni te inspire sobresalto el DIA mañana. Ten tu alma fuerte y limpia y todo te saldrá bien. Jamás te creas solo ni débil, porque hay detrás de ti ejércitos poderosos, que no concibes ni en sueños. Si elevas tu espíritu no habrá mal que pueda tocarte. El único enemigo a quien debes temer es a ti mismo. El miedo y desconfianza en el futuro son madres funestas de todos los fracasos, atraen las malas influencias y con ellas el desastre. Si estudias atentamente a las personas de buena suerte, veras que intuitivamente, observan gran parte de las reglas que anteceden. Muchas de las que allegan gran riqueza, muy cierto es que no son del todo buenas personas, en el sentido recto, pero poseen muchas virtudes que arriba se mencionan. Por otra parte, la riqueza no es sinónimo de dicha; Puede ser uno de los factores que a ella conduce, por el poder que nos da para ejercer grandes y nobles obras; pero la dicha más duradera solo se consigue por otros caminos; allí donde nunca impera el antiguo Satán de la leyenda, cuyo verdadero nombre es el egoísmo. Jamás te quejes de nada, domina tus sentidos; huye tanto de la humildad como de la vanidad. La humildad te sustraerá fuerzas y la vanidad es tan nociva, que es como si dijéramos: pecado mortal contra el Espíritu Santo.

Bulletin Immediate Release:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also

survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crummy day and kneads a lift.

tengo América online y quiero saber si se pude conectar las 2 computadoras al mismo tiempo, , o que necesito para eso , es linea de tel, gracias por su ayuda

tenco el aol america online, pero no puedo conectar la segunda compu me ayudan pofa,

a son couldn't take care of his mother no more during

the days so they check out alot of centers for the old

and the last one the son said your the most reasonable

in price so he tells his mom i'm going to leave you

here and pick you up at the end of the day. so they

push her over to the big picture window and in a

little while she started leaning to the left so the

nurse runs in and straightens her up. after about 10

minutes she starts to lean to the right so here comes

the nurse running to fix her again. at the end of the

day the son comes back and ask her if everything was

ok

she said it was nice and she liked it there alot.

but she said WHAT'S THE HELL WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE

THEY WON'T EVEN LET NO ONE LEAN OVER AND FART!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

what is the shortest line in the bible?

have an extra room but don't now what color to paint it

no plain colors need something like sky blue pink with purple polka dots help please?

my boyfriend answers alot on the spanish yahoo there is one person on there who got 415 answers and like 86 stars he says no one in english can even get 100 answers because they are kind of dumb so even if you says hi please answer to show him that he is wrong and the one who can come up with a funny come back will get best answer lets beat the person who ask the question in spanish i believe in all my friends in YAHOO ANSWER (english) lets get them hahahaha

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides

>to take a nap. Although

>not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She

>motors out a short distance,

>anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls

>up alongside the woman

>and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing? "Reading a book," she

>replies,(thinking, "Isn't

>that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm

>sorry, officer, but I'm

>not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I

>know you could start any

>moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

>

>"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the

>woman. "But I haven't even

>touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the

>equipment. For all I know

>you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

>

>MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

>Send this to four women

>who are thinkers. If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

"Excuthe me, mithter,do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so

that he's on her level and asks,

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwackwabbit,

or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on

her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

"I don't think my python weally gives a thit."

The River:

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof!

God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."

Poof!

God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.

Poof!

He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

1. YOUR REAL NAME:

2 .YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME :( first 3 letters of your last name, first 2

lettersof your first name, first 3 letters of your mother's maiden name)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color and fav drink)

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name, and father's middle

name)

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)

Change the answers using your names, and send this to all your friends,

HAVE FUN!

no joke just a peom that i hope you like

my boyfriend said that i couldn't get aleast 50 stars because people are stupid and don't like peoms

help me prove him wrong and dinner for me

When I was little,

I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,

and then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,

God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.

Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.

Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say, "Let's cry together,"

another, "Let's fight together,"

another, "Let's walk away together."

One friend will meet your spiritual need

another your shoe fetish,

another your love for movies,

another will be with you in your season of confusion,

another will be your clarifier,

another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,

on whatever the occasion,

on whatever the day,

or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,

or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..

those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,

but for many, it's wrapped up in several...

one from 7th grade,

one from high school,

several from the college years,

a couple from old jobs,

on some days your mother,

on some days your neighbor,

on others, your sisters,

and on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,

God has placed in your life

to make a difference.

I thank God for you!

this is what i found by the time clock at work

this is a story about 4 employees

whose names are:

Everybody

Somebody

Anybody &

Nobody

there was an important job to be done and

Everybody was sure Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did

it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ened up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!

next time JUST DO IT!!!

do you know what the first sign of retardation is?

hair on your knuckles

you know what the second sign is?

haha -- i am not going to tell you , try to guess, and i will tell you with the best aswer i pick

what does women and bricks have in common?

i don't know

but we know that they are both going to get laid

a old man went to the doctor after getting his viagra and ask the doctor to help him cut them in half the doctor reply the nurse out front can do that so he went out front and the nurse said it would be no problem but can i ask why you want them cut in half his reply i only need it to stick out enough so i don't pee on my shoes

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused...

They faxed...

They e-mailed...

They e-mailed with attachments. .

They downloaded...

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports...

They created labels and cards...

They created charts and graphs...

They did some genealogy reports..

They did every job known to man...

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off!

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,

jesus saves

2 friends are on a motorcycle ride. they hit a small bump on the road and the guy on the back says hey amigo i think we just hit a cat --why you think we just hit a cat cause it went meeeoooww.

alittle while down the road they hit another bump a little bit bigger and the one on the back says hey amigo you just hit a cow ---again why do you think we hit a cow---he said mooooo.

all of a sudden they a big bump the one on the back you just hit a man from california---why you think we just hit a guy from california--- he said you son of beaches

a teacher asked her class "what do you want out of life?"

a little girl in the back row raised her hand and said " all i want out of life is 4 little animals".

the teacher asked " really and what 4 little animals would that be sugar?"

the little girl said " a MINK on my back, a JAGUAR in the garage, a TIGER in the bed and a JACKASS to pay for all of it ."

the teacher fainted!!

YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL

WHAT A WOMAN SHE'LL MAKE!!!!!