Deb M

My 12 year old step son was caught stealing at Six Flags. He lives with his mom and so from what were being told he stole a $100 bracelet. He doesn t consider it stealing because he didn t leave the park. And he s acting like its no big deal with what he did. He is grounded. But I m wondering what is going to happen? I know we were told there might be a court hearing and a hefty fine. But as far as him being allowed in the park again, is there a ban? He got his season pass revoked. I guess I just want to be sure he ll have no way of going back for a while. He needs to understand the severity of what he has done. He s gotten caught stealing before and owes a lot of people money. I can t intervene with how it s being handled as I m just the step mom. But I m very concerned. i believe he needs intervention. Like going to bootcamp or something similar. Help.

I have two step kids. Ones 13 and one is 14. Let me start by saying their mom is spiteful and has yanked the kids out of their dads life off and on since they were born. This is no longer a problem but the effects on the kids seems clear. The 13 year old is on three different meds for bipolar/depression/anxiety. His mom takes him to a psychiatrist. She has custody. He whines and cries about everything like a toddler. He wants his dad to sleep in bed with him. he has thrown fits in the middle of stores so many times I had to tell my husband no more. It was getting ridiculous. His daughter the 14 year old wants nothing to do with her dad but comes over and basically follows me around. She constantly says the girls will do this and the boys will do that. It worries me because she should be spending time with her dad. She even went so far as to say she wanted her dad to sleep in her brothers room so she can sleep in the bed with me. Are these kids starved for attention because lack there of at home? Should we be worried? I don't remember doing any of this when I was a kid. I too had a step mom and dad I visited on the weekends. We also have a problem with my step daughters mouth. She speaks slang to us often using the N word. We explained to her how disrespectful that word is but she thinks because her friends say it it's okay. It's just so exhausting day in and out. I feel like we have two colicky teenagers. Please help. I'm desperate.

My husbands ex speaks about him constantly to their two children. I understand they share kids together but it's getting borderline obsessive. She'll bring him up every chance she gets. A good example their daughter posted something on Facebook. It had to do with relationships and nothing to do with her dad. Her mom posts a comment about her ex and some random nonsense and the daughter responds with ugh. She furthers the comments she was making by saying you share his Dna. Firstly shouldn't there be boundaries when it comes to certain information you tell your 14 year old? And secondly why bring up such personal stories that happened well over 12 years ago to a child? She was in no way seeking information from her mother about her father. It just seems every chance she gets she's bringing him up. We've even had their son come over to our home telling us my mom said your cheap. Or my mom said your scared of me. She's attacked me on more then one occasion telling me how jealous and insecure I am. I keep away from her and limit the contact but she just doesn't stop. I need help. How do I respond to these comments? Ignoring them hasn't worked. It's like the kids want some sort of response. So they'll keep on and on. I knows it's not their fault but it's really getting to be too much.

My in laws use their bathroom sink for anything from bathing to washing clothes. They want to save water and electricity. My husband explained to them that they can't wash clothes in the sink so they started using a bucket but unknown to us they were dumping the lint water in the tub drain. Now the tub is overflowing when we use the bathroom sink. The bathroom sink drain has disgusting build up. So much so when we took the stopper out of the sink all you see is brown chunks stuck all over it. Is this the cause of bathing and washing clothes in the sink? Is it soap build up? They use Palmolive to wash the clothes. Don't know if that makes a difference.

I live with my in laws to help them out due to my father in law being disabled and unable to do much. I help out around the house a lot and pretty much home a lot of the time to watch over him and clean up and what not. my father in law and I started off with a good relationship but slowly over time I had lost a lot of respect for him. he speaks ill of everyone in our family and worse I have heard him speaking to my husbands aunt about me. saying nasty things. I just can't understand why he has such grudges on people. his sister I heard has a problem with me now too and I don't even know her. she lives in a different state and calls her brother twice a year. so I'm wondering what it is that gives others the right to judge me or say things about me that aren't even close to the truth? I still speak to my father in law and help him out as much as possible but due to his negativity have decided that I had to distance myself for my own sanity. I'm a bit sensitive and I take things personally even when I know I haven't done anything wrong. I guess I just want a little insight on what everyone thinks are some reasons for bad mouthing others? especially others that are trying to help you.

I agreed to live with my in laws to help them out. they were having a rough go at life and my husband and I needed a place to stay. it was only supposed to be temporary but ended up being permanent. my father in law has had multiple strokes and heart attacks. he has gout, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease and as if that's not enough he has bad infections in both his legs. so were here trying to help out around the house, financially and to keep an eye on him. making sure he's never home alone. I know he's in pain and he's depressed. he doesn't leave the house often. only on saturday's which is their shopping day. he gets calls from relatives but since he stopped answering the phone to them or cuts them short when they call , they have been getting fewer and fewer. he has a hobby of writing inmates in prison which none of us understand but he seems to enjoy it so we leave it be. he's a man of habit so everyday is the same thing. the only time he seems at peace and not yelling about something is when my mother in law leaves for work and he goes into his office, blast his oldies and types his little heart out on his type writer to his friends in prison. yes he refers to them as friends. anytime him and my mother and law are home together it seems they feed off each other. he yells and bickers about everything under the sun. my husband seems to be his scapegoat in that he will blame my husband for anything that goes wrong in his life. if the phone goes out due to service interruption it's my husbands fault because he probable unhooked the phone. mind you this happened today and my husband is at work. he has no way of unhooking the phone from where he is. I personally think that the reason for this blame game is because my husband is essentially the man of the house due to my father in law not being able to do much. my mother in law goes to my husband for everything from the car needing to be fixed to a screw being loose in something. he also exaggerates everything. if a piece of paper falls on the floor he moans and groans and starts complaining about something else. I realize that there is a lot on him but he's getting on everyone's last nerve. we all struggle to make him happy since nothing really does. I don't know where we can go from here? what can we do to help alleviate his anger and frustration? I know this all stems from his pain but we all fear if he keeps going this way that he's going to have another heart attack. we try to keep most stresses away from him but it's as if he makes stuff up to get mad about. he's actually had fights with himself when my husband and mother in law are at work. he screams and yells about whatever situation he thinks just happened that somehow effected him and will go on like this for about an hour. then he goes and sits in the living room and yells at the t.v. I'm home most of the time. I don't work because I have my own health issues. he doesn't like to be bothered so I stay away. my husband and I turned the basement into a apartment but you can hear everything that goes on upstairs. I feel like maybe he's going insane and not in a funny way. he's also very two faced. he'll say okay thank you when you do something nice and then start yelling about it when he thinks you can't hear him. they can't afford to put him in a home. I'm not sure I can handle much more of his outbursts. I'm trying to be the good daughter and help out and be there for him but I'm losing it a little now. I have my own things going on but my main priority is helping him. I've tried taking up hobbies and mediation daily but nothing seems to help my sanity. I almost feel guilty for feeling so stressed and not understand his situation more then I do. what would you do?

My husband has two children from a previous relationship. a ten year old son and a eleven year old daughter. his ex just moved a few months ago to a new area and the kids were still getting used to over their summer break. so most of the summer they were calling dad asking him to pick them up and take them out. now that school has started his daughter has met a few friends that she has instantly became close too. this is wonderful and were happy to see her break out of her shell. but boy is it hard seeing her grow up so fast. she has been allowed to wear makeup when she's around the house and so we noticed a lot of facebook pictures being posted of her and her friends. so we know that she's hanging out with friends every chance she gets. problem is now she doesn't want to talk to dad on the phone at all and we have to force her to come visit him. we used to take the kids over the weekend but noticed they were getting bored due to not having friends or much to do over here. so we started picking the kids up for a few hours a couple times a week. this has worked but the forcing his daughter to visit is getting harder. his son has no problem talking to dad or coming over. my husband talks to his son everyday, sometimes a couple times a day. we are unsure of what to do about his daughter though. should we give her space? his ex has been helpful telling their daughter you need to talk to your dad or you are going to your dad for a little while and that's it. their daughter has been dishing attitude to both parents. saying they are too strict or having fits because she can't get her way. literally the only time we see her happy when she's with us is if my husband is taking pictures of her (highly conceded) and he does this with both kids when were out fishing and stuff so it's not like were just having photo shoots or if someone is buying her something. every time my husband calls her she says she doesn't want to talk to him. is this normal teenage attitude? wanting to be with friends and nothing to do with parents or is this something deeper? I might add although I'm the step parent she has no problem talking with me. she won't tell me what is wrong with her and why she won't talk to her parents but she likes to talk about boys to me or tell me what funny things happen in school. we really need advice. I to had a step parent growing up but because my dad was always working my step mom was the main parental figure in our life and thus she was the one dishing out the rules and grounding us. so pretty much we hated having her around growing up. we blamed the step parent for everything. this is new to me. please help!

My mother in law and father in law have been going through some trouble with a huge insurance problem. my father in law had a heart attack about a year ago and had to go to a rehab center right after to build his health. just this year they were informed that they owe ten thousand dollars to the rehab center due to the insurance not picking up the bill. basically the secondary insurance wasn't put through and thus they didn't pick up the other half their primary insurance didn't pick up. my father in law did nothing about the threats the rehab center's lawyer were making and so it got to the point where their bank account was frozen. that's when my father in law finally decided to take this seriously. he went and got letters that he was covered during this time and that it was a mistake on the rehab centers end. my husband and I have tried explaining to my in laws that it doesn't matter if the rehab center didn't put it through, they never checked on this and they didn't take it seriously until it went to court. and sometimes insurance doesn't pick up a bill a year later. so they may still owe that money. here's where it gets tricky. my in laws had a court date a few months ago on this matter. neither of them went. my father in law had a mild heart attack and my mother in law didn't bother to call the court to let them know of this. the court date was two weeks after his heart attack. my father in law called the lawyer suing them for the money. again we explained to them that this lawyer doesn't work for them. and so they are most likely going to be in some trouble due to not informing the courts. that the lawyer isn't going to speak up for them. now they have another court date today and we are worried because my mother in law is going herself. my father in law is faking sick because he doesn't want to deal with it. problem is this is his matter and his name is on the docket. so neither of them went the first time. he had good reason but she ignored it and now he's not going with no good reason and she is. I'm really worried that they are going to get in a lot of trouble for this. the judge was already ticked off about this first time. and they didn't get a lawyer themselves. so basically she's going to represent the two of them. and she isn't being smart about this. she is going on and on about how it's not her fault and that she's going to get this lawyer. she doesn't understand how the law works and is blaming the lawyer for everything. saying he isn't being nice and that he should put himself in their shoes. my sister in law is going with her but she has no idea about the law either. sorry for making this so long. I really just wanted to get your thoughts on how this may play out. I'm concerned about them losing all their money in this account that's frozen or worse someone getting arrested. help.

My mother in law and father in law have been going through some trouble with a huge insurance problem. my father in law had a heart attack about a year ago and had to go to a rehab center right after to build his health. just this year they were informed that they owe ten thousand dollars to the rehab center due to the insurance not picking up the bill. basically the secondary insurance wasn't put through and thus they didn't pick up the other half their primary insurance didn't pick up. my father in law did nothing about the threats the rehab center's lawyer were making and so it got to the point where their bank account was frozen. that's when my father in law finally decided to take this seriously. he went and got letters that he was covered during this time and that it was a mistake on the rehab centers end. my husband and I have tried explaining to my in laws that it doesn't matter if the rehab center didn't put it through, they never checked on this and they didn't take it seriously until it went to court. and sometimes insurance doesn't pick up a bill a year later. so they may still owe that money. here's where it gets tricky. my in laws had a court date a few months ago on this matter. neither of them went. my father in law had a mild heart attack and my mother in law didn't bother to call the court to let them know of this. the court date was two weeks after his heart attack. my father in law called the lawyer suing them for the money. again we explained to them that this lawyer doesn't work for them. and so they are most likely going to be in some trouble due to not informing the courts. that the lawyer isn't going to speak up for them. now they have another court date today and we are worried because my mother in law is going herself. my father in law is faking sick because he doesn't want to deal with it. problem is this is his matter and his name is on the docket. so neither of them went the first time. he had good reason but she ignored it and now he's not going with no good reason and she is. I'm really worried that they are going to get in a lot of trouble for this. the judge was already ticked off about this first time. and they didn't get a lawyer themselves. so basically she's going to represent the two of them. and she isn't being smart about this. she is going on and on about how it's not her fault and that she's going to get this lawyer. she doesn't understand how the law works and is blaming the lawyer for everything. saying he isn't being nice and that he should put himself in their shoes. my sister in law is going with her but she has no idea about the law either. sorry for making this so long. I really just wanted to get your thoughts on how this may play out. I'm concerned about them losing all their money in this account that's frozen or worse someone getting arrested. help.

My loving and amazing husband has two children from a previous relationship. They are good kids and we do have a lot of fun when it's our weekend with them. usually they are super excited to be over our home and we do a few little things if money is tight such as going fishing or playing basketball at the park. lately it has been a struggle when they are over though. for example, we went to check out a fishing spot to see if they still allowed people to fish there. turns out they didn't anymore. so my husband told my stepson that we could find a better place that allows fishing next time we want to go. we weren't actually going to fish just kind of driving around looking around. well my stepdaughter wanted to walk along the trail and find some good trees to climb. so we all headed for the trail nearby. at this point my stepson was dragging his feet. he didn't want to go. it's too far. it's too hot. i'm thirsty. anything to get out of doing what his sister wanted because he wasn't getting his way. well just as we thought my stepson threw at outright fit and started walking in the opposite direction. to which my husband had to follow him and tell him that he is going to walk with us on the trail and that's it. he even had to grab his hand and try to pull him. at that point it was getting ridiculous and so we decided we would have to go and do this another day. well you guessed it my stepdaughter then started to throw a fit because she wasn't getting her way. so I told her that I would do a little research and find a hiking area where they had some even cooler trees. and we would go next time. I feel like this is a constant scenario and I know i'm probable doing a lot wrong. I do not have kids of my own yet and am still in the learning process. so I need help and so does my husband whose at his wits end. we will go grocery shopping and his stepson will sit down on the floor and not budge. these kids are not 5 or 6. they are 10 and 11 years old. they act very spoiled and entitled at times. these types of tantrums are every week they come over now. the kicker is they went home that evening happy as can be. no problems. but my husband ended up with a phone call from the kids mom stating that his daughter feels he's giving all his attention to their son. and the son was upset because he isn't getting all the things he wants like a new fishing pole or fish tank. his ex was understanding toward a lot of it but didn't understand why their daughter felt she wasn't getting any attention. I just am at a loss and don't know how to help my husband. he's tried doing separate things with them. he's tried doing separate weekend days so each can have his or her own agenda with dad but they didn't like that either. they wanted to go together because it's not fair. everything ends up in a fit of crying or whining. he's one person and can't split himself in two. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this twosome? how does dad get his son to listen and not throw a tantrum and give his daughter the attention she needs? he does spend time with both of them so i feel this is just a jealousy thing. this one throws a fit so that one gets the attention so the other one does the same to get the attention. it's all very confusing and a bit hard to deal with.

I'm looking for a way to teach my stepchildren about how money is earned. I've already discussed with my husband that we could set up allowance and have them earn money. this was they can save it up and get the things they would like. but it goes a bit further. they are constantly pitching a fits. we will be in a store and they will get upset because they can't get what they want. my stepson has been throwing the most fits which reverts all attention on him and then my stepdaughter is upset because she isn't getting any attention. so we noticed lately she has been getting an attitude with us. we figure this is her way of showing her emotion towards her brother getting all this attention or her way of getting them attention. either way it's not working for my husband and I. we love these kids with all our hearts. we want to give them what we can when we can. but I don't think its right for us to reward this behavior. so a lot of time it ends up with them getting nothing. they are 10 and 11. so basicly I'm just looking for some advice on what to do about all this? I'm unsure about how to handle it. and their mother just thinks my husband is picking on one or the other. so he'll get the occasional phone call saying why aren't you giving your daughter attention? we tried taking them seperate days. where they can both have a day with their dad. they can pick the activities and everything but my stepson got upset when it was his sister's dad and wanted to come. so we ended up taking them both. I'm at my wits end. I don't yell when their here and I try to be calm but this is enough. I fear this allowance thing isn't going to work and so I'm looking for other ways to teach kids their age responsibility. My husband and I love getting them the things they want but as everyone knows money doesn't just grow on trees. nor should they just be handed everything they desire. I guess I just really want them to enjoy their time with their dad and not think he's just a walking wallet for whatever they please.

My husband has two children with his ex girlfriend. he usually takes the kids two days a week or more depending on his schedule. we've noticed a pattern that when the kids are with us the children's mom will call them. this is fine but shortly after the call she'll text something like "tell the kids they have a lot of cleaning to do when they come home" or tell so and so that they are going to be grounded if they ever do this again. my husband and I both feel this is a game or ploy to ruin his time with them but there is no way of proving this. so what I'm asking you all is what would you do in this situation? should we ignore the texts and let her know that she can let them know when they get home? or should we wait until we are on our way to taking them home to let them know?

My husband and I live in the basement apartment in my mother and father in laws house. both are incredible people and I feel very humble to have married such a great family. that being said my mother in law is a talker. she will talk your head off and worse she speaks in circles. there is never really a point to anything she is saying. If i try to walk past her in silence she always opens the sentience up with "How's it going?" and that's where she hooks me. I once stood in the hallway while she spoke on and on for about an hour and a half. When i try to respond to some of the things she says, i get a odd look from her like I wasn't supposed to speak. I'm not sure if this is ADD or what? but i can't figure out how to get to know her better to get her to converse normally. I don't always have time for this excessive conversations. How do i break it up without being rude?

i clicked on something on someone's wall about this is what you'll look like in 20 years. stupid i know. i took me somewhere and i exited off it right away but when i went on Facebook itself it said that i sent it to 165 people. how do i delete it? i tried deleting it like a regular post but there isn't a X. please help!

Here's the story, my husband and I married when i was 22 years old. we've been together since i was 19 years. so about 8 years we've been together. the bulk of our relationship we lived with my mom and brother due to them needing help with rent and bills. we tried moving out a couple times but got a guilt trip about how they wouldn't be able to make it and how they really needed our help. when my mom met her girlfriend she moved in with her after about a year and half of dating. i was happy for her and happy to be rid of one family member in the household. well my husband inherited a house from his grandmother September of last year. my brother had no money or any plan as to where to move and had asked my husband if he could move in with us until he got his stuff together. this was working out fine but now he has my cousin and his girlfriend and friend over here all the time. about 3 days a week. and now he's dating this girl and she's been spending the night here. besides this my mother calls me on a daily basis and is over about 2 days a week. so pretty much the whole week we have someone here. my brother and husband work 9-5 with weekends off so it's not like we have much time to be alone when he's at work. he doesn't go out very much at all. I've dealt with this my whole relationship and were now at the point of wanting to start a family. I happened to mention this to my mom during one of our talks and she just gives a face and gets really silent with me like I'm being a jerk to my brother. this is a usual thing, my brother is a mommas boy. i have also talked to my brother and said you need to let us know when your going to have people over because a lot of times his guests are coming over before he even gets home. so in between the guests and him we don't have alone time. once i have children there will be no alone time. am i being a jerk? is this a lot to ask of someone to get some privacy? i know he's my little brother and doing things for family isn't supposed to be a chore but he's also not my child and i shouldn't have to share my home forever. and how would you ask to get more alone time? because when i ask or mention it to anybody immediately they think sex. which yes i have a healthy sex life with my husband and it is hard to have that when you live with other people but that doesn't mean that's all we need alone time for. i like to watch a movie now and then or just hang out with him and watch a game. what am i doing or saying wrong?

we've been having a problem with the electricity popping on and off. the fuse's keep popping and the landlord says he fixes it and nothing actually gets fixed. he has had his "electrician" come here a few times to fix these issues but whenever he does something else goes out. we just had them out to look at a wall of electrical units that kept popping off and after they left realized that they fixed that but now the backroom of the apartment has no electrical. they broke that. is there any way i can make a complaint or is this even safe? by the way i say electrician because i'm not even sure this guy is certified. he comes here and helps moved stuff and mows the lawn and does basically everything for our landlord. i'm not sure if their friends or what. i personally don't trust either of them because half the time they are smoking weed when their doing it. we went into the basement to help out moving some stuff and they were smoking it down there. so i'm not sure how together they are to actually fix things.

A few months ago (almost 4 to be exact), we found out we had bed bugs. we've been battling this issue and keeping on the landlord about doing something about it. i understand that it's something that's brought into the building and we are living in a 2 flat apartment building. are neighbor that lived downstairs (just got evicted) told us that he's had them for a while now and thought that they were ticks. he didn't let the landlord know about it or us for that matter and now were getting them as well. so we established that it's the neighbors who brought them in, his girlfriend was moving in and out of the apartment, about 3 times, with the kids (5) and the last time she moved about a month after we started getting bit. so i'm not sure how long we've had them. now the landlord wants to take care of the situation. he's not going through pest control company though, he wants to vapor steam himself. we were fine with that, realizing that it's tough with money right now and that this might be better then spraying pesticides in the apartment. we are trying to cooperate with him but now he wants us to take everything we own out of the building so they can steam and replace carpets. this is near impossible for us. my husband and brother whom also live here with me work for a living. i just got laid off and am busy looking for work and trying to keep us above water. we complied with his not wanting anything in the basement, we were using for storage and got a storage unit and took our stuff there. we also helped him clean up our neighbors part of the basement. now he wants us to get another storage unit for a month he says so that we can keep our stuff there until he's done. besides that he wants us to keep everything out for a couple of days. how are we supposed to uproot everything and find places to stay for a couple of days and keep all our stuff in storage. his wife keeps insisting that it would be easier for us to just move. we can't afford to live as it is but now they want us to some how come up with a security deposit, moving costs and other hassles of all this. is there some sort of law protecting us? this is completely ridicules. besides all this we have a mouse issue. we've been dealing with for at least 2 years now and we've been taking money out of our own pocket to pay for mouse traps and other things to minimize. what can we do? or is there anything i can site and say according to this you can't expect us to uproot everything? i'm at my wits end and as soon as i do find a job, i'm going to work on saving for a deposit to move out of here.

can you still see them when their in idle? or would it be blocked completely, like your not even friends with them?

I'm going to try to make this short but i have to make sure you have the details first. I worked for a small company, a restaurant. everyone there including the old manager would take a sandwich and some bagels home. she didn't even say anything if you maybe took two sandwhiches home and just payed another day. i guess she trusted us because a lot of us worked there for a really long time. then a new manager cam in and people continued doing this and he didn't know of it. he installed camera's mainly because we were having trouble with the money and had a lot of school kids taking drinks from our coolers and not paying for them. i took 3 sandwhiches home one day and some bagels. we were told before this 2 dozen bagels was the limit. which is what i took home. well the new manager reviewed the camera's as he did everyday and accused me of stealing. i know he's a new manager and i as well as others should have stopped doing this. i take full responsibility and when he told me i'm letting you go, i got up quietly and left the building with no problems. i thought that was the end. and i was going to still send a check for the full amount that i had taken because i was going to pay another day, forgot money at home that day. then i found out the manager was going around telling all the associates that i was a thief and he's sick of people stealing from his store and that he is going to take the footage to the police and have charges pressed against me. i also found out from one associate who i closed the store with that day that she was asked if she took anything and she said yes, she took one thing and also some bagels. understandibly i know that i should be guilty for what i did and by no means do i want to get anyone else in the middle. i'm not the kid that says but jimmy did it too. but i'm wondering how if she's on there taking something too and she's also still working there how he can press charges on me? by the way she hasn't payed for what she took. i owe a total of 20 dollars. i'm still planning to pay but don't know if that's going to help me or not. i was told Sunday morning, yesterday, that he was talking of taking the video to the police. so now i'm sitting at home waiting to be arrested. opinions on all of this? honest yet not childish haha opinions. i really could use some good answers. thank you.