Biology Nerd

Long story short: I was really suicidal last week. I made a plan and intended to carry that plan out, but when the moment came, I found that I couldn't do it. I see my counselor tomorrow. If I tell her that I was extremely suicidal last week but am not now, is there any risk that I can be involuntarily hospitalized?

I'm sorry to be another one of these questions...But I'm at my wit's end and I'm not sure what to do.

I'm an 18 year old college student.I' was diagnosed with depression seven or eight years ago, and it usually cycles in and out of my life. Over the past five months, I've been cutting pretty consistently (nothing very dangerous or noticeable, but it's there). I've been dealing with self harm for over two years, but the cutting is relatively new. I also started having suicidal thoughts about a month ago.

I'm seeing a counselor on campus, and she knows about the cutting but not the suicidal ideation. When I came back to school yesterday, I hit a giant wall of depression and was fighting suicidal thoughts more than I ever had. Today, I was thinking about it and started formulating a plan and decided that I would kill myself this Friday, since my roommate will be out of town then. I've been saying meaningful goodbyes to people who I know I won't see again since then.

I just started getting scared; I was kind of peaceful about this until right now. I see my counselor tomorrow--should I tell her about what I've been planning and accept that hospitalization will probably happen? I'm uncertain because I tend to get like this sometimes--never this suicidal, but really depressed for a night or two and then just come out of it. And I have a hard time believing that I have bad enough problems to merit hospitalization...I had an emotionally abusive father for most of my life, but that's about it.

What should I do?

I'm sorry to be another one of these questions...But I'm at my wit's end and I'm not sure what to do.

I'm an 18 year old college student.I' was diagnosed with depression seven or eight years ago, and it usually cycles in and out of my life. Over the past five months, I've been cutting pretty consistently (nothing very dangerous or noticeable, but it's there). I've been dealing with self harm for over two years, but the cutting is relatively new. I also started having suicidal thoughts about a month ago.

I'm seeing a counselor on campus, and she knows about the cutting but not the suicidal ideation. When I came back to school yesterday, I hit a giant wall of depression and was fighting suicidal thoughts more than I ever had. Today, I was thinking about it and started formulating a plan and decided that I would kill myself this Friday, since my roommate will be out of town then. I've been saying meaningful goodbyes to people who I know I won't see again since then.

I just started getting scared; I was kind of peaceful about this until right now. I see my counselor tomorrow--should I tell her about what I've been planning and accept that hospitalization will probably happen? I'm uncertain because I tend to get like this sometimes--never this suicidal, but really depressed for a night or two and then just come out of it. And I have a hard time believing that I have bad enough problems to merit hospitalization...I had an emotionally abusive father for most of my life, but that's about it.

What should I do?

I've wondered this for awhile because I have some symptoms that really bother me, but I don't know if it's OCD because they aren't quite the common ones. I grew up with a father who had OCD, so I'm familiar with the disease, but a bit confused on my case.

I don't have any obsession over germs/hand washing. My main issue is with things involving rhythm. When I'm walking behind someone, I often try to match the exact rhythm of their stride, and it bothers me when I can't. When walking alone, I always feel my steps as a four beat rhythm...And I always have to get my stride to fall on the up beats instead of the downbeats, while still feeling the downbeats as strong. If that doesn't make sense, the basic point is that it does affect how I walk, and I've been known to stop, readjust, and continue once I have it right. It will bother me if I don't get it matched to the rhythm in my head.

The other way that it really bothers me is at night, when I'm laying on my side with my head on the pillow. I can often hear my heartbeat in my ear, and trying to match a rhythm to that keeps me awake. It's the same story with my walking--I have to match it so that I hear the beats in a certain way with certain ones as the up and down beats. It really bothers me if I can't, and I often find it hard to fall asleep when I can hear my heartbeat because it keeps me awake.

OCD or something else?

I heard this song on a Christian radio station on the way home. It may or may not be a Christian song, because I think they do some crossovers at night, but it's definitely a clean one because of the station. The song was sung by a male. It was intense and emotional, and had some occasional screaming elements during the bridge and toward the end of the song. All I can remember about the lyrics are something about being changed after being in love, maybe something about how he doesn't want to live without this girl or whoever it is he's talking about.

If you can find this song, you're my hero. Sorry I don't remember more about it.

I'm going to be flying from Charleston, West Virginia (CRW) to Los Angeles (LAX). I know that the flight is going to involve a layover. Do I have to recollect my baggage and recheck it (and pay the baggage fee again!) during the layover or does the airport take care of transporting my luggage from one plane to the next?

I'm eighteen, and I'm flying from the east coast to California in a few weeks. The last time I flew was with my family about five years ago, and I'm a bit nervous about flying on my own because I'm not sure what to expect. I don't think that flying itself scares me so much as the procedures that take me to getting on the airplane. Could a more experienced traveler run down what to do from when I step into the airport to when I get on the plane? How do I find my flight/where do I check my baggage/all of the stuff that I've forgotten from the last time I flew.

I'm really excited for my trip, but I hope I can be less nervous about getting to the airplane!

I've been having pain in my wrist for about four days now. It's mostly on the radial side. I've been wearing an Ace bandage to help with the pain, and I think the support helps it hurt less. I haven't seen any swelling. The pain seems to go away with inactivity (when I wake up in the mornings after sleeping, it doesn't hurt at all, but it starts hurting again as the day goes on/when I don't wear the bandage for a few hours). I don't remember anything in particular starting the pain.

Any ideas what might be wrong and should I see a doctor or just wait it out?

I received an e-mail from a close friend and without thinking clicked the link inside. It wasn't something she would actually send me--it linked me to a site selling Viagra. I've heard about people's e-mail accounts being hacked by viruses and sending out bad links. Should I be concerned and what can I do to find out it I've put a virus on to my computer? Right after clicking on the link, I clicked out of the site, cleared all of my browser cookies/history/whatnot, restarted the computer, and I'm running a virus scan now.

We'd been friends for almost three years. Just two months shy. Three days ago, I got a message from her on Facebook saying that we couldn't be friends anymore. I'd spoken to her just three days before that, totally amicably.

I am so hurt by what's happened. She mentioned to me one reason why she felt like she had to do this, and the fault of mine that she identified she was right about. We didn't have a perfect friendship by any means. We'd fought off and on for about three months last year, but we worked that out and we were doing well again.

The technicalities really aren't that important. What I want are ways to get over her and get over what's happened here. It's only been about a year since I got over a really messy breakup with another friend, this one that I instigated. I don't want to do the nights of crying and the thinking about her all the time again.

What can I do to get over this quickly?

A little background: All of the people mentioned in this are friends of mine. Rebekah is a very close friend, Jordan is more of an acquaintance, and Hannah (we share the same name, so don't let that confuse you) is a very close friend that I've been through a lot with.

Any ideas what this dream could mean? I wrote it out in scene fashion because it really stuck with me.

I surveyed the room, let my eyes graze over the crowd. Each person was undeniably watching me.

I closed my eyes solemnly. Show no fear.

I winced, eyes still shut, as I heard a loud voice ring clear over the crowd. The words registered in my ears, but only as words, not as phrases. The meaning was the same, regardless. I was being sentenced to death.

I heard the crowd erupt as my sentence finished his speech, but the crowd and did not cry out for my saving, only my death. Mocking tones rang clear, jeering as they called for a swift, painful end to my life. They relished this event, though they knew I'd be martyred as my death had no cause. There were not enough to speak against the sentence. Nor would I want those that would to.

I walked to my death with a clear mind.

I lifted my face skyward, eyes still closed, a shield against the crowd's mocking.

When the novelty of condemning the already damned wore off on the crowd, a short redhead pushed her way out of the throng and approached me.

I could feel my face falling. Rebekah.

She walked to me calmly, her dark eyes blazing as she lifted her head to meet my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, reaching out and clutching my hand. "I could have…" She faltered, dropping her eyes, her hand still clinging to mine. "I never…"

Tears brimmed in my eyes – not for my plight, but for hers.

"Don't blame yourself." I murmured, and as she met my eyes again, I saw that they, as well, were flooded with tears. "Please don't. I don't want you to dwell on this when I'm gone." She flinched at the word.

"Go on," I whispered, tossing my head back toward to the crowd. I didn't want her to be here when it happened. She needed to move on.

Hopelessness in her eyes, with a sense of utter defeat, she pulled her hand from mine an inch at a time. The door slammed shut a moment later.

"I'm not letting this happen until I say goodbye," Another voice pierced the still air following Rebekah's leave.

I watched as Jordan approached me.

"This shouldn't be happening," she said, loud as if we weren't on display. "And all of you," she turned and addressed the crowd – "You should be ashamed."

She turned and wrapped her arms around me. Her face remained clear, stern, almost, but I could see how saddened she was.

"Bye," she said, attempting a nonchalant tone, as if this were a 'goodbye until tomorrow' instead of a forever departure. I cast her a very weak smile as she disappeared into the throng.

My sentence stepped forward again a moment later, when it became clear that no one else would attempt to state their farewells. My heart raced, and my mind ran wild with all of the apologies, the reparations I could make, but never would get the chance to.

"Wait!" I called, desperate in a sudden moment. There was one person I hadn't seen, one person I had to speak to. If she were here…

I steadied myself and cast my eyes over the crowd.

"Hannah?"

A thousand heads turned, and one lifted.

I charged into the crowd, uncaring that such an act could be the early death of me. I had to see her.

Her ice blue eyes held mine as I shoved people who tried to block my way. There was such a deep sorrow in her face, such desolate hopelessness. I sprinted the last two feet to her and threw my arms around her, clinging to her for all I was worth. Despite my efforts not to, I was shuddering a moment into the embrace, tears spilling over the edges of my eyes.

"I have never had someone calling my name scare me so much," she whispered.

I pulled away from her, forcing my face into solemnity again. "I couldn't…" Pause, omitted a few words, "without saying goodbye to you."

She wrapped her arms around me again, her holding on to me this time, hiding her face. I rested my head on her shoulder, terror seeping into my veins. If there were one person that made this death unbearable, it was her.

A few moments passed, and I forced myself away from her, knowing that prolonging the inevitable was useless.

"I love you," I said, loud and clear, letting every memory of our friendship play in fast forward in my mind. There were so many things that I needed to say, so many things that I wanted to say, but there was no time to, and summing it up was the best I could do.

"I love you too. I'll never forget you, Hannah." She answered me in j

My dad moved out around three months ago, after he and my mom had been planning for divorce for two years. I can't even begin to express how much this man has hurt me. I haven't spoken to him since he left, but my mom just sprung on me today that he's going to be here tomorrow and wants to take me out to dinner. I am absolutely terrified.

He's never physically hurt me, but the mental abuse that I had to deal with when he lived here has made me never want to see him or speak to him again. My mom doesn't understand this. She conforms to the whole "He's your father, you have to see him and love him," ideal.

I don't know what I'm going to do about this. I've been honestly considering trying to get myself sick to get out of it, but I doubt that's going to happen.

Help?

Which order would you choose to lose them in?

My choices would be first to lose smell, then touch, taste, and hearing, in that order, to be left with sight.

"I finally found the last complement to my china set at a garage sale, and my friend complimented me on my keen eye."

I have had my chorus teacher in class for three years, and we've become rather close over that time. I'm a high school junior as of this year. I just found out that my teacher's father died very recently, and I was thinking about sending him flowers to express my condolences. Would this be appropriate considering that he is my teacher and that I never knew his father?

This is a personal narrative I wrote for English class. I'm rather proud of it, but my English teacher gave me a very poor grade on it. I'm curious as to what you guys think. Please, don't spare my feelings. I know it's not perfect, but I do think it's better than what she gave me.

For perspective, I'm a junior in high school.

To protect someone is to lie.

It’s a façade, a pretty little mask with “Everything’s okay” haphazardly

scrawled across its forehead. It’s one of those “white lies” where

supposedly no one gets hurt, as if not knowing can’t hurt as well.

My sister’s hair is tied back, a single strand poking its head out from

behind her ear. I push it back into place with a smile. That smile is a lie.

But it was not a lie in the sense that I was smiling to give her a false

sense of security; it was not a discreetly malicious smirk. I was mostly

lying to myself. If my true feelings had been revealed on my face, my lip

would have quivered, my eyes would have run, and I would have had to turn

away. I hid the truth because I knew that if I didn’t, it would make our

leaving all the more hard for her.

It was an arduous task, that protection detail. It was also a duty I had

incurred with no outside influence.

I cross the room in two steps and look out the dirty window. All I can see

are the words on a small sign that blare “Welcome, new [College] students!”. My heart leaps in my chest and I leave the window.

I find myself wondering far too often now if I should have told her how I

really felt. Would she be better or worse off? I doubt steadfastly that my

cavalier act did her any good, but I hope that I made the right choice; I

hope that had I been honest with my actions, she would be hurting now,

because that could mean that perhaps my lie wasn’t quite as serious an

offense.

Rachael, in her mouse-like way, suggests demurely that we take a break from

the insipid dorm furniture rotation to relax for a minute. I rally with a

noisy cry of “I concur!” and loop my arm through hers, leading her out the

door, not caring whether anyone follows us—or doesn’t. The hallway is

plastered with more atrocious welcoming signs.

Rachael and I hit the uncharacteristically warm Indiana sun a few minutes

later. I let it lap across my throat, fantastic and impossible images

dancing in my head of a life without changes. This is a dangerous vice as

the more I wish it to be true, the harder it is to distinguish what is

fantasy and what is reality.

It takes a few moments, but our silence is finally broken, by Rachael

nonetheless, and she is almost to the point of inconsolable despondency. I

realize, shocked, that she’s been lying too.

“I don’t want to stay here,” she half-whispers, her eyes shining, her head

tilted down, staring blankly at the grass beneath our feet. She opens her

mouth to say more, but I stop her.

“Shh,” I murmur in pulses, letting a smile play about my lips, “Let’s just

think about now. We have all kinds of time.” I lay my head on her shoulder,

slip my hand into hers, then leap into a sprint, laughing as our hairwhips

behind us in the breeze.

To protect someone is to lie.

I broke my 5th metatarsal last Tuesday (9 days ago). I've had very little pain and didn't have to have a cast, but I wear an ace bandage with a small boot for support. I just took off the bandage as I do sometimes to let my foot breathe a little, and I have an absolutely gigantic bruise covering the top of my foot. It's mostly yellow, but there are some bluish/black spots up by my toes.

Also, my pinkie toe (the one that is above the bone I broke), is a little pinker and more swollen than the others.

I haven't noticed anything like this until now. Is this normal for a broken bone?

It doesn't have to be directly friendship, I already have the Hannah Montana one. Basically any song that says "You mean a lot to me" or "I'll always be there for you" will work fine. Nothing directly about love, though.

Preferably nothing too hardcore, and definitely no language.

Thanks!

A friend of mine learns kinesthetically. She has to memorize about ten books titles and their respective authors. What would be a way to help her memorize them with her learning style?

A friend of mine learns kinesthetically. She has to memorize about ten books titles and their respective authors. What would be a way to help her memorize them with her learning style?