Roanour B

it's an adult manga.

a lonely older woman decided it was time to get married. she put a want ad in the local paper: 'HUSBAND WANTED. must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! all applicants must apply in person'. Next day, she heard a doorbell ring. much to her dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. he had no arms or legs.

She asked cooly, "You're not expecting me to consider you, are you? Just look at you- you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "therefore no chance to run around on you!" She snorted, "You have no arms either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can i beat you!" she raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely. "Are you still good in bed?" she asked. he smirked and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't i?"

is it a good one? if it is, give me a star!

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” -- even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don't tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don't say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug.”

pls don't put any bad comments. star me if u liked it. TYVM

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional manager. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been paying attention? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

When ur wife catches u in bed with another woman and u slap her on the as* and say "you're next!"

what is the difference between a whore and a b*tch?

A whore sleeps w/ everybody at the party, and a b*tch sleeps w/ everybody at the party except u.

what are 3 words do u dread most while making love?

"Honey, I'm home."

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?

They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, but in the end u loose ur house.

which of the followingis the odd one out: wife, meat, eggs, bl*w job?

The bl*w job. u can beat ur wife, ur meat and ur eggs, but u just can't beat a bl*w job.

what have women and condom got in common?

Both spends more time in ur wallet than on the end of ur di*k.

what's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Wife: Wat would u do if i died? wud u get married again?

Husband: Definitely not!

Wife: Why not- don't u lyk being married?

Husband: Of course i do.

Wife: Then why wouldn't u remarry?

Husband:Okay. I'd get married then.

Wife: U would?

Husband: (groan)

Wife: Would u sleep with her in our bed?

Husband: I've never evn thought about it, but where else would we sleep?

Wife: Would u replace my pictures with hers?

Husband: I can't imagine why you're asking me questions like this, but that would seem like proper thing to do.

Wife: Would she use my golf clubs?

Husband: No, she's left-handed.

Wife: (silence)

Husband: (s**t!)

If u lyk it, give me a star. if not, its ok.

A ventriloquist (puppet master.. if u dont undrstnd luk in d dictionary) visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. he figures he'll hve a little fun, so he says to the Welshman, "Can I talk to ur dog?"

Villgr:The dog doesnt talk, u stupid git.

Vnt..:Hello dog, how's it goin mate?

Dog:Doin alright.

Vill..:(look of extreme shock)

Vnt..:Is this bloke ur owner?

Dog:Yep.

Vnt..:How does he treat u?

Dog:Quite well. He walks me 2x a day, feeds me great fud, and tkes me to the lake once a week to play.

Villager:(luk of utter disbelief)

Vntrlquist:Mind if i talk to ur horse?

Vllger:The horse doesnt talk either..as far as i know.

Vntrlquist:Hey horse, how's it goin?

Horse:Cool.

Vllger:(absolutely dumbfounded)

Vntrlquist:Hw does he treat u?

Horse:Good. he rides me regulrly, brushes me down oftn, and keeps me in barn to protect me from d weather.

Vent..:Mind if i talk to ur sheep?

Vill..:(in panick)the sheep's a f**king liar!!

I've got this friend of mine who threw up and didn't come to school

the next day cuz she was "ill". she was a good friend to me and i am soo worried.