Aaron

- I feel bored with life, and I'm beginning to think that everything is pointless.

- My pets (and some people) seem afraid of me

- I don't really feel emotions anymore.

- It sounds like I have an accent (even when I'm speaking normally)

What's wrong with me?

D:

WOMEN'S RIGHTS. ;P

I'm at the end of my rope. I hate life and would rather be dead. The only thing I had left in this world was my website, but it's obvious that nobody likes it and that I'm a worthless idiot. I've been attempting to kill myself all day and to no avail.

First, I tried drowning myself. That didn't work because I accidentally killed the wrong person.

Then, I tried to eat pills but all I found was a near-empty bottle of Vitamin C.About three hours ago, I swallowed 4 or 5 of them and tried to drift out of consciousness forever. I thought I was dead for a moment until I realized I was just dreaming. That sucked. I eventually woke up and all that has happened since then is frequent urination and a feeling of overall comfort and wellness. My body actually feels healthier after trying to kill myself. Damn, I must be the worst suicidist in the universe.

Could somebody please help me? I'm all out of ideas and I need a way to die. Do us both a favor and send your suicide methods to suicide@ninjapirate.com as soon as possible. I'm so desperate, I even tried cutting my head off with a spoon.