♥Pröƒé§§ôr♥

Can anyone please tell me if champagnes, white or red wines have expiry dates or do they just get better the older they get?

He's cute and adorable and all that but what can I do to make him go to the toilet. He's turning 4 next month and I just don't know how to get him off diapers! I have showed him how but he just doesn't wanna go for it. I've tried putting him on training pants but with no luck! He still 'does' it there.

Please can anyone give me some effective training techniques to get him to start wearing regular underwear.

..And can you tell me what made it worth watching.

Can anyone tell me some good safe websites to get me a free and I mean 100% free and non of these trial period stuff, iPhone converters?

Thanks guys.

Some of us are insured. Our house, our properties, our lives, etc.... My question is, what happens if banks gets robbed, will they be covered by some sort of insurance to cover their loss? Please include some proof of this. Thanks.

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WHY DIVORCE?

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A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and

asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle

of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's

parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really

needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily

like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I

do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a

divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.

"I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't

communicate with me."

HA HA HA That's all folks! Enjoy your day.

Love it or hate it. Tell me.

Texan: “Where are you from?”

Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”

Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

Two fish in a tank.

One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?”

What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?

bullet

A Baboom !

A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.

The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”

That's all folks. Have a nice day!

For all the psychics out there or for anyone else who loves a challenge. Here it is: Best Answer award will go to anyone who can tell me the name of my last girlfriend.

If you're feeling lucky, try getting the surname's initial as well.

Goodluck!

Tell me what you think?

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

That's all folks! Have a nice day.

I need an affordable, reputable guitar to get started. Please, tell me some well known guitars that's known by musos without breaking the bank! Thanks.

Can anyone pls clarify for me something. Is YouTube a free service? Does it cost me depending on how big the file is (uploading) whenever I view any files there?? Thanks guys.

When people says: ' I JUST ADDED MYSELF ON THE MAP' what does that actually mean? Please explain?

If there were 2 guys asking you out...Both looking to have a relationship.

A) Very attractive man/ Rich/ ok personality but could be a possible jerk.

B) An average joe/ good job/ excellent personality/ great sense of humour/

Which one would you pick? And why?

Just an average joe trying to save. Some advice pls. Thanks.

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