Blayne

My brother wants to become an evil sorcerer, whatever that means.

Previously, he wanted to be a prostitute, con artist, drug dealer, and a hitman, but none of those worked out, and he never got into any criminal activities (no surprise, considering he doesn't have any connections).

Well, today, when I asked him how he was doing, he told me he wants to be a sorcerer and create ape slaves through genetic engineering. He wants to move to an island to call his own and build his slave army, and plans to save for it.

I told him there is a mountain of reasons why this can't happen, and he just told me that if the island doesn't work out, he'll build a compound in the Rocky Mountains. I also told him that being a sorcerer is pretty much impossible, but he started shouting at me "No, you're the moron. I'm the genius!" and started laughing insanely.

I think it's obvious he needs mental help, but how should I go about getting it for him? He's clearly gone off the deep end.

My brother seems obsessed with becoming a criminal. I took your advice and simply ignored him when he said he wanted to be a prostitute, drug dealer and a con man, but over Christmas he told me he wants to be a hit man.

I asked him why, of course, and he said he's always thought about what it would be like to kill a man, but he could never find a reason to. Now he says the best reason would be money. I asked him how he would get into it, and he told me he's going to put out an ad on Craigslist, and hopes that people will find him on there if they need to order hits on people.

I told him this was a terrible idea for multiple reasons, but he assured me it would all work out because he'll be using a fake name. He's also going to use a disguise so he looks nothing like himself, something about a prosthetic nose and a cap to make him look bald.

Should I continue to ignore him since this probably won't work out, like his other aspirations?

First my brother wanted to be a prostitute last week. Then on Sunday he tells me that wouldn't work out (no surprise) and that he wants to be a drug dealer on the black market.

Apparently his only potential connection, Kenny, a friend of a friend, got killed recently in a botched drug deal (again, no surprise) and so he can't do that.

Now, this morning he calls me and tells me he wants to be a con artist. Specifically, he'd like to pretend to be blind and gain sympathy from people so he could manipulate them to give him what he wants. I asked for more details and he said "That's all I've got so far." He said he's already working on a false identity, with the name Joe McGilmore. I told him it didn't sound too convincing, but he seems dead set on doing this, whatever this is.

What should I do? It's starting to seem like my brother just wants to pursue any criminal career he can.

Well, prostitution wound up not working out for my brother. He didn't have any connections and wanted to get started from nothing, but he wound up getting frustrated and chose not to do anything in that area. However, he's now told me he wants to be a drug dealer in the black market.

First thing I asked him: Do you even know what the black market is?

His answer: It's someplace in Africa, in Nigeria, like a flea market. I can find out through my friend's friend Kenny who works in it.

I told him he was wrong and that the black market doesn't have a central location. I also informed him that Kenny is probably not very open to disclosing much to a friend of a friend. My brother said he could charm his way to get some info and a hookup.

Should I do anything to discourage him, or simply see how this goes?

My brother took me aside yesterday after a family dinner and told me he's considered becoming a prostitute. He said he would love to make money "to get ****** by millionaires and old chicks with experience." This came out of nowhere because he's a 28-year-old professional in marketing. He's doing pretty well for himself, but he seems bored with it.

I've never known him to be a promiscuous person, but when he talked with me last night he told me about how his life has become a "joke" and that he wants to be taken seriously as a "working man." He wants to get offers mailed or emailed to him at the office where he works because it would "be edgy," and then he would seek these people out at night and bring them what they want, kind of a risky escort service.

I asked him how he'd get started and he said, "I don't know. I might just go to the street corner in the city and wait around. See what it's like." I didn't bother telling him he kind of looks like Steve Buscemi and probably won't have any luck, but I also don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, either. I also didn't bother telling him women don't hire male hustlers as much as rich/married closeted gay men.

What should I do about this?