thebourne_id

Ok this girl and I have known each other for years through thick and thin we've been there on varying levels for each other, you could call it a romance apart. We are close in every sense of the word yet she still keeps a dating profile account going, which is very incongruous as

A: we are both set in our plans and hopes with each other

B: we talk all the time and share everything

C: she doesn't shave her legs

D: she lives at home with her parents and works nearly all week.

so why keep a dating profile. I cover all her dating needs, she's not a sex fiend nor is she good at being sneaky. why would she do this, some kind of ego boost? She is super duper shy and has been hurt badly the few times she has tried to love so idk what's up.

I have asked this of female friends of mine trying to gain insight of my girl troubles. I know a girl I love to bits that has has issue with feeling unfair to me in that she laments her income level and lifestyle vs. me. I make triple what she does and I live on my own as she lives with her parents and which as we are both 30 is a bit of a requirement IMO. Tuning this out, I show her lavish dates and etc. Somehow she can't just bite her lip and handle a fantastic man as-is and gamely keeps me around. Most friends say I spoiled her or gave her a complex that makes her feel very small. Is thaat what happened

Ok I am totally in love with this really nelly super nervous girl. Everything I do around her is very low stress and its required some adjustment. She doesn't even like to visit some loud and active places most couples tend to go on dates. I have never put her in a position where she has had to think fast or make a sudden decision, again to keep her anxiety levels low. This tension inside her has wreaked havoc on our relationship at times. Recently some basic Q & A was helping her. We had an agreement that we'd be free to ask each other any questions possible for the sake of better understanding. She asked me very politely how many relationships I had been in and if i'd had sex with any of them and I said 1/3 of the number of actual so as not to frighten her (she's VERY shy, in bed her moves were clumsy and her body felt close to brand new) and this seemed to make her feel in over her head. She also feels bad about her work, as she earns like 1/3rd of what I make despite working 6 days a week in what she does. I told her this time and again this isn't a problem since as a man I pay for all our times out and I love her already and besides I am her boyfriend, not a job coach.

What do I need to do to help her relax??

At 3 pm today she at first calls me up. Asks into problems I already solved THREE days ago offering obvious common sense advice already used 72 hours prior. I berate her for never listening or paying attention as even the most casual family observer would have known that her advice was void and useless and well past relevancy. She then says I should take a nap. A NAP, at 3pm on a Saturday after a full night's worth of sleep? I told her to F off as I sleep at night when you're supposed to. I then hung up and txted her that her habit of naps is why she is fat and lazy, as her threshold to fall asleep is too low. Hours later on Facebook (she's linked to my decoy Facebook, not my real Facebook my friends are on) and messages me and says "What's wrong?" I tell her what's wrong is that she suggested that I nap in broad daylight for no reason whatsoever. I also told her its these choice words of hers that anger me so and that all she has to do is admit her folly.

I also pointed out that she is not the wellsprung of advice, clearly she lacks mansions and vast wealth. If her advice was that great I ask her why isn't she Secretary General of the UN, or awarded a Nobel Prize, or world famous. All her naps have done have kept her lazy and fat, and too ignorant to even retract a faux pas statement like that she has. she stops messaging back on Facebook, I sign off and then my dad calls asking what I said to her on Facebook and I tell him "She told me to take a nap" and he said some neutral statement on the issue of napping in the day so I said "Dammit you're a nap fan too!" and hung up. Hours later I am still awake and Ma de-friended my decoy Facebook.

I plan not to allow her to hear from me again until I hear her admit ONCE in her life that her statements are offensive and inflammatory. Good plan, no? She will probably never ever do this and I get to not her such irritating speech again.

Ok a buddy of mine that is a little bit older said my method is too timid, and that I should say what my gf may wish to hear and propose, she has not hinted at this but we have discussed in the generic sense our mutual long term wishes to be married and have kids in the future in our lives, and I have subtly hinted that her ideas aren't so far fetched and that with me she can do no wrong and that she has driven me to do things and feel more for her than any other woman I have known before. I have also gone nice and steady with her from day one, always being very clear and never moving closer until I was all but certain she was feeling me for the next level. She likes that kind of pace and as a warmup and intermediate step a month ago I got her diamond earrings just for the hell of it, my thoughts being 2 modest stones may be a gauge to see how she would handle seeing one big rock! She totally liked it and that was that. Now I am feeling all mixed up from my friend who although older isn't necessarily wiser but I do note he has been around a lot more women than me and has probably seen and heard it all before. Am I dropping the ball not asking my girl to marry me yet? I kind of have been trying to better my conditions so I make a more solid sounding pitch, I'd wish to own a house already and definitely whip out a ring along with my pitch but my buddy says women love to strategize so if you come at them with everything in place it takes their fun out of the planning. Which is the way to go would you suggest?

I'd hate to ask her only for it to fall flat when formatted better she'd have said yes. This kept me up all night thinking about this.

Ok in the underside of my front fenders both sides there is a 1/4" by 3" section of rust on the underside of the wheel well. I know this is no good (my car is a 1992 it was inevitable) and I want to stop it before it becomes a real problem. Since my car is black and clearly made of metal, could I not just just scrape it off and nip this in the bud with some Rustoleum which also is black? I say this as its in a really non-cosmetic area. My dad thinks its probably the spot where the underbody coating got blasted off by rain and tire gunk.

Would this have any effect or is there a better way to do this?

Ok long story short my friend she likes me, I ask her out a few years back, she like me/I like her and from then on we dated as frequent as our schedule and funds would allow. Fast forward to last November after struggles with the economy and how it affected my career I became much more available to see her as often as I'd rather. After a VERY romantic new years eve, in short time we made it official and I would gladly see her on her lone day off from work. I am 30 she is 29, for some setbacks with her education and life circumstances she lives at home still with her parents and older brother wayyy out in the country. She doesn't have too awesome a job, and owns 3 horses which pretty much eat up all her income she does make at her job. Sadly she got kind of nervous about a guy treating her so nicely (and I do to me she is the best and I can picture myself with no one but her) and in a wild tear broke us up via txt message and a day later came to her senses and took me back as a 'friend'. She is very sweet and country-fied to my suave city man vibe. Opposites do attract as I am fascinated how the other half lives and vice versa. Little by little her and I write and talk more and she said she only backed off on as she felt like she was a disappointment to me, being only able to see me once a week and not having as great of a job. We have discussed longer term life wishes of ours, she like me also hopes for being married and having kids (3 she said :-D ) and keeping her animals, all which are fine by me. When I met her she was a vet. tech and working to go back to college to get her D.V.M. All this despite my emphatic reminders I love her just how she is and after all I am not her job coach or college guidance counselor and I adore who for who she is already, not what she isn't. Anyway we have plans to go horse riding out her way in the next day, but my buddy flat out said she is probably pissed I have not proposed to her, something I haven't done yet as I have no ring and not a whole lot material-wise to present to her. He assuaged me that its not a killer hurdle like I think it is but I don't want to pitch this to her just to fall flat and go down in flames either. I live in the college section of my city and every day I am surrounded by countless college hotties but its no matter to me because she is the only girl I wish to keep. Even a year and a half ago as she resumed her studies out of state she invited me over to campus and I had PTO slotted at work to be there for her until that company collapsed and staying out of the poorhouse was all I could afford. Is she waiting for me to propose, I don't think you'd let any man you detest ride your horses with you out in the wilderness if you were totally tuned out to his interests in you, right?

Ok I have had this iPod Touch for a week and a half and I load videos on and off it here and there for stuff to watch on the go. For some reason as of a few days ago its all screwy in that it won't go from one video to the next whenever I hit the |<< or >>| buttons like it's supposed to, and strangely it loops all videos even though I never set it to do this. Ordinarily it plays the next one. The Settings panels have no options to adjust this back, how do I fix this?

Ok I have a friend she asked me if this one job got back to me, one I literally sent my resume to yesterday. Today she is asking me if I got the job already. I haven't heard a peep from the new (potentially better) job and told her that I am tired of her pestering me for details and that all she needs to know is I make money in amounts to my preferences and she need not know anything different.

She must be stupid as I have been online all morning and afternoon seeing if that new company was to call me back.Clearly people don't have time to goof off online all day long if they are fast at work, no? That made her question inopportune and asinine to me. Thus I wrote her back moderately annoyed and she hurriedly signed out of yahoo claiming not to want a fight.

The idea is here that she was fine until she asked me about that new company. It bothers me she demands details on something I have heard little more about. Am I not allowed to feel mad over this?

Well we already know that its not nice to insult others but these are people who marginalized me back during jr. high, high school, and for some, college as well. Now after the advent of Facebook I hear from these people yet again and their dippy little lives. While they spent our early years shunning me and making me feel like a pariah always I tuned them out, kept my head down and made something of myself in life-as they skate over the aftermath of marrying too soon and divorcing, having kids out of wedlock, dropping out of college etc etc.

It'd tickle me to the highest deep down inside just to swoop in and leave a really sardonic comment to reiterate how hollow and tawdry their heretofore superior lives really are but I feel that for as fauked up as they are to live like this it'd be in one ear and out the other for them.

What'd you do in this situation?

Look I watched a few dozen episodes of those Kardashian shows on E! because my friend she had it on and I kinda wanted to see what the hype was about. One of them with the kid goes out with that '80s Wall Street looking guy Scott, this dude seems to be the only voice of reason on the show and was telling one of them (forget if it was his gf or some other Kardashian) to sleep more and drink less and eat regularly. It was about the only time in all the episodes I happened to watch that anyone told anybody to behave better and for that maybe people say he is a stuffy sort or totally a spoilsport but Scott is clearly de MAN. I

Is this why he is pummeled in the entertainment news? I am a dude so naturally I can't follow this stuff too close, ya know?

Anyway early on when I first started dating her my girlfriend asked if I had a Facebook, which I didn't have one as in prior years I thought Facebook was just a neatened up/intellectual counterpart of MySpace which I thought was crass and dumb. Anyway to locate old friends and classmates and to be like the other Romans I made a Facebook and I am pretty sure she was the very first person I added to my Facebook as she was the first person I knew offline that had one.

Fast forward a couple of years and both her and my fortunes in life have ebbed and flowed in various patterns which has kept us from being together until these recent six months or so where we've had time to really catch up to where we've both wanted to be all along.

As we all know Facebook has 1,001 settings for status, even relationships. I have noticed most of my friends leave these stuck in one setting or another while others change them up in real time along with whatever they're in or not in dating married or otherwise.

Since our love is there and I am not worried about anyone finding this out I would like to change up mine to the "In A Relationship" setting. However I have not so far as my girlfriend lives with her parents now (weak job, many expenses-do the math) and I do not want to make any additional grief for her on top of the continuous burn of living with your parents.

The other thing is I notice people's profiles on FB go ablaze with public uproar with people's nosy comments and crass remarks so I am not really wanting to bring on such a thing.

All in all I dod want to change mine and ask her to do the same, but not if its more headache in practice than it looks, what do you think?

Ok my girl is not the slenderest woman on the planet but that's no prob to me because she is on the taller end of things as woman are (I'd say about 5'8"/5'9") does NOT look 'fat' in any detectable sense, and she has a great shape to her so I have no unhappiness with her looks. All that besides I like her for how she behaves, not what she looks like alone. Whatever the case she has a nice full set of breasts (C's from the looks of them) and a shapely bum and set of legs, without looking oversize or anything of the sort.

The thing that does bug me though is that as clothes go she is still considered plus size, I thought plus size range was only for Mama Cass-sized women and etc. My girlfriend works at a plus size ladies clothes store and I just don't see how she is lumped in with them. She does have a large frame, not body per se as her wrists are nearly as thick as mine and in her off time she does stay active riding horses and hiking and what have you, she is no butterball like the term plus size evokes. Where does this whole plus size threshold start.

Ok you may think as her boyfriend I am glossing over her shape, love being blind and etc but I really am not, I do understand she is not rail thin but its no loss to me because I love her for who she is not only what she looks like, her face looks slim and her high cheekbones are apparent and she lacks a double chin and/or fat neck which are usually trademarks of the overweight. Despite her declining a piggyback ride from me when her and I had to walk across some gravel as she wore sandals on a date, I doubt she cannot weigh more then 2/3 of my total weight ( I am 6'1" and 205 lbs) yet the fashion world declares her plus size and she is in theory able to wear items sold at her shop. Is she really that big? I don't see it in her

Earlier last year I took a job as my unemployment was running out that was a lot less favorable than other places in my field I'd ordinarily work, I warned them full well as I accepted their job that in better times I would have told them to take a hike and that I was only signing on because it was only for two months until they moved out of state where the rest of their operations were. My coworkers were of the same disposition, we all went for this company because all in all they were still paying marginally more than unemployment and again it wasn't forever. I would show up whenever I felt like it, take 45, 50 minute lunches as we were allotted 30 and although I did my work I didn't do it in any terrible rush nor did I put much mental effort on it. Sure enough we were all too damn good for them and that 2 months of work left to do was completed in one month and so we all were back in the No Job club a month ahead of schedule. I relate this to my friends and people I know; about half of them understood and the other half thought it was not nice of me to treat them like I did. I counter with that company was not all that fantastic and they all but begged us to treat them so. What do you think?

Maybe I am more old school than I imagined but a platonic friend of mine keeps leaning on me I have to specifically tell this girl I am dating that I'd rather her and I only saw just each other, as if I cannot trust her and I am certain of 95% of her whereabouts at any given moment and etc; and feel I can relax and its not an issue. Plus her actions and behavior don't point to any other man in her life but me, so I feel I don't need to reiterate the status quo. This girl I am seeing and I talk and txt all the time and we are always thinking of more things we could do together, but still my platonic lady friend swears up and down I must come at this girl with such an ultimatum over something that already seems to be the case. Who is right, I'd like to think I am already at where I want but this girl seems to make me think she will keep dating any man under the sun until I ask that she doesn't. If this is what I still have to do to ensure this fine, but I think this girl is not the best one for advice is she is a bit scandalous and is probably using herself as a frame of reference.

Ok my best buddy is a dude I have known since I was in 7th grade, him and I were in youth group at our church as well as from the same school and neighborhood, we are both 30 now so its been many years. Over time though my friend has made some not very smooth moves while achieving/attempting the big prizes of life. He is married and they have a young son, but they only got married while their son was a toddler, though if he was that down for his now wife to have a kid why not marry ahead of time? The other thing is although he beat me into going to college first, he went to not one but THREE colleges across 6 years and must have had the worst advising ever since even with all those credits he just took a bunch of random dissimilar computer tech. courses and took out a crapload of student loans to attend for so long, and all for nothing as none of what he has pieces into a degree he could do with with. He has also been out of regular work for 2+ years save for the incidental work our other friend gets in which is very succeptable to customer demand. He seemed to want to impress the neighbors wherever he lived so a standard apartment wasn't good enough for him, he had to spend nearly a mortgage payment's worth of money living in primo 'luxury' apartments, only to have to bail in under a year and move himself, wife and son into his parent's house only to do this again and back 3 or 4 more times. He also had a trusty old BMW that ran great until he bagged on the maintenance since it would have been expensive, until the neglected item made other systems get really bad as well and he ultimately donated his car to one of those give-us-your-car charities. His dad lets him borrow his pickup truck as he makes extra money to support his family on moving furniture but he left the GPS unit in the dash overnight just to have somebody break into his dad's truck and steal it, though he doesn't even file a police report robbing him of even getting insurance to help with the repairs and replacing of his stuff.

He is my best friend but moves like he does make me want to scream and shake the hell out of him at times. I try to politely offer him tips and advice on how to do certain things better but its tough to get my buddy to listen to advice, the closest I can manage is to suggest stuff he ignores, wait for him to screw things up bad and then he goes back the 2nd time around and nails it easily c/o my advice. We are both 30 I figure he would have picked up a trick or two by now.

I am a conscientious driver so I like to stop behind with a .75 car length distance minimum from the car ahead, so they know I don't drive like a dick or am about to rearend them. But even on an empty street some people, especially trucks and SUVs like to leave 12" at the most behind my car before they stop.

It always gets on my nerves since from my sedan it looks like they are a hair's breadth from plowing into my back seats. With their higher driving position I know they can see the ***-end of my car real good so are they just being d|cks?

Whenever I drive into some suburbs the full width street is always effectively pinched down to a 1 1/4 width road since everybody parks along the curb with a 2 foot wide berth, or they got a boat on a trailer, some RV, a kids basketball hoop, somebody's trampoline or all of the above just on the edges of the road. Mindful of all the obstacles I slow it down quite a bit but that doesn't seem to faze the oncoming cars coming full blast where we got maybe 1.5 car widths of road at best to pass each other with.

I understand suburbs are where space is freer and more abundant but people have big yards and 2 (oftentimes 3) car garages yet do they really have to plop all their goodies in the road? After all they got to drive around all that stuff too so what's their deal?

Is that why its also so cheap and their stations won't take charge cards? I worked with a buddy during college driving his older GMC truck and the 3 lone instances we HAD to gas it with Arco as they were the sole gas station in the area or we'd be marooned that truck broke down exactly 3 times no later than 18 hours after tasting the Arco gas. Where do they get away with selling such crappy gas? Are there really enough motorists that consistently think "Oooh $0.30 cents cheaper a gallon!" My buddy won't even put Arco in his lawnmower, and I can kind of see why.

I know from experience with driving pickup trucks laden and unladen that with a bigger load handling goes down and stopping distances increase somewhat, but what about for passenger cars? Part of me thinks that cars most of all would be designed to have comparable stopping distances both empty or with a full trunk and a passenger in every seat but I know you can't fight physics.