Roxanne

I've been married to this man for 5yrs, the first three years he lived with me @ my house. I was a single mom/widow with my own home & job, etc. Had a nice home but let it go to move into his house to better his chances to get custody of his two kids. His sister was living in his house but moved out so we could move in. I noticed lots of "stuff" stored in several rooms, sheds, cars in the yard and the in-ground pool was green. The house had some issues like a roof leak and the laundry water spills out into the yard. I figured since it was a much older house and because his sister was living in it, that we were both in for some serious clean up and repairs, but i was willing. He was granted custody of his kids, so now our family had grown and it was even more necessary to expand, repair & clean, but for the last 1.5 yrs, my husband refuses to do whats necessary to make the home livable & safe for me &the kids! I learned that the septic is busted so our bath water also drains into the yard. I counted 10 junk cars, he's bought 4 junk tractors, 3 boats, several trailer, a leaking RV, and he keeps piles of junk everywhere. The slate room that could be an extra bdrm.is packed with stuff he buys every weekend from flea markets or yard sales! To top it off, I've been counting his alcohol intake all month and he averages a six pack a day! There's no excuse, he makes enough money for repairs but prefers to spend his doe on junk and beer. I'm afraid DFCS might come in and remove the kids. I've been taking showers at the YMCA and doing laundry at my parent's house. Im looking for my own home but I'm sad to leave his two kids! All the"talks" go in one ear& out the other. :(

Stupid HAS to be fixed or we're NOT gonna make it!! Love my husband, I do. He's so kind & generous...but his over generosity, kindness & lack of ability to say NO has many times put us in danger!!

He's befriended shady neighbours who ended up robbing us! He let a 16yr old runaway hang out at our house all day to play with our daughter (I was out of town for training) then let her drive his car with them in it only to wreck & cause injuries! I came home only to answer to DFCS, angry parents & a police/ accident report for medical bills! He's let minors drink at our house and lends out cars to unlicensed family members, only to have to bail them out of jail or file an accident claim. His ex (& baby mama) has stolen from him, put sugar in the gas tank, slashed his tires & had him jailed but when her new husband recently dumped her, he's agreed to pay her rent, fix her car & move her furniture! HUH?!!

He's lent his cell phone to a co-worker to text nasty things back home to his wife, only for me to discover this and threaten to divorce!! His answer: My co-worker doesn't have unlimited texts/pics service like i do....I don't see what i did wrong. Mind you, it was texts from co-worker using his phone....but damn! Just say NO! Serious lack of common sense and it's bad! Other safety issues have to do with our house; electrical hazards, trip & fall hazards, roof leak, dogs keep getting impounded because of poor fencing.... He's a YES man and that's not so good!! What would you do?

Well, here goes.... (and thanks for your attention!)

Been married 5yrs now. The man I married was struggling with his ex (girlfriend) because she was getting him for $650 child support each month and threatening to take his two kids to Mexico (she is illegal). Then, she got married and had a little girl by her new husband. Well, MY husband ended up getting custody of his two kids (7 & 8yrs old) and now his ex is ordered to pay $100.00 per month child support. Since his ex and her new husband are no longer getting money for the kids like they used to, her husband DUMPED HER and left her high & dry! Well, she is now crawling back to MY husband for help and sympathy!! She told him she can't pay her child support, so he's excusing her of it (I'm OK with that... for a while; but I think parents SHOULD be held responsible, and $100 for two kids is fair!!) Next, he mentions he wants to help her out by paying her rent!! Then, he says he wants to drop off food and crap because she's crying poor mouth to him!! Now, wait a minute... she HAS a husband, (for what its worth) and a child she can get support for! Her illegal sister and kid is also living with her, both women have these side jobs (baby sitting & house cleaning). WTH??? Why does my husband want to play superhero to these women? He says, "Oh, that girl doesn't have anything!! She can't get anything!" (The whole reason her husband dumped her in the first place is because she moved her sister & kid in against her husband's wishes, and let them stay in that single wide trailer with them for waayy too long and he couldn't it!) Anyways, am I crazy or is the moral of the story, "It is perfectly OK for a married woman to come crawling to someone else's husband for help & support when their husband isn't behaving right?" Is he doing this to benefit his kids when they visit? Somewhat, but if I was the custodial parent, I would take my kids to a private sitter (who has their crap together) so they don't have to witness the police coming back & forth in between their mom & step-dad's problems!!! I'm so getting tired of it all and wanting to leave! Any advice??

I have been married for 4 1/2 yrs and I've seen my husband do some really stupid & inappropriate things when he drinks! He also makes very poor decisions, to the point to where it endangers our family.

Without any particular order, he's allowed an unlicensed 16yr old girl not only "hang around our house all day" but also let her drive herself home with my daughter and her little friend in the back seat; but the girl drove into the woods and wrecked the car! I was away for class, so I learned about it when DFCS came a few days later to learn why one of the girls went to school with a bruise on her shoulder! The case was dropped because the driver was "unlicensed" and a run-away.

He drinks and drives, moreso by himself w/o family in the car since I put my foot down.. but still does it.

On another occasion, we went on a cruise and he got so loaded that he started dancing dirty with a girl, letting her put her rear all over him while he was lifting his shirt (he tends to want to take off his clothes) so I left him in the bar. He came back to the cabin and threw up, laid on the floor of the shower and flooded our room!

Once, we had a pool party, he tried to pull a young girl's bikini string and tried to brush her on the breast with his finger as she walked by.

We camped one weekend at our other friends' house and he got so drunk he literally started wanting to "flash himself" or remove his shorts, but threw up and passed out instead.

He drinks w/bad company and is genuinelly surprised after they rob us!

He has no common sense about letting minors drink and get drunk at his house (I don't consider it my home anymore)...

And this last episode was where he invited his 17yr old "god daughter" and her boyfriend over for a back yard party; but during the whole night he did nothing but interrogate the little boyfriend, trying to compete with him, threaten him, and did all he could to scam on the girl and "brush up" against her or wrap his arms around her in a flirtatious way!! The whole night he was chasing her (them) around the yard and lately he's been giving me the cold shoulder. I over heard him tell her that he would give her a ride home so I interviened and told them NO, she would have to make her own way home. Her poor boyfriend asked her, "why are you making me look bad in front of these people? Why are you creeping on me with this guy?" WTH? After everyone went home I confronted him but he got defensive and said, "She is my god daughter! I will touch, hug, hold her any time I want!" I told him that if he treats daughters like that, then he can't be around mine. I took my daughter and left on 6/15/13 and haven't been home since. He hasn't even tried to call......

What the heck do I do?

My hubbie and I did a fantastic job at court on Sept.5th to show good cause as to why his 7yr old & 5yr old should be in his custody. Biggest fears were that their mama was threatening to take them to her parents' home in Mexico in a Cartel-infested border town and live off his child support. Also, many signs of abuse, emotionally & physically. I know the judge was not pleased with her.

Well, the results are in but my hubbie's lawyer wants to have him come in to discuss things? Is this normal routine for a lawyer to play the mystery card?

What has been your experiences? Thanks for your advice and please pray for the best!

My husband has been picking up his 6yr old daughter & 4yr old son every weekend and holiday for over 2yrs. The kids have a bond with their dad, with me and with their step sister (my 9yr old daughter) and are comfortable in their dad's home. They are excited about their 2 week summer visitation but their dad sometimes leaves for out of town with his job on Monday morning and stays 2,3 or 4 days at a time. He's always home on the weekends.

We have planned this to where I have taken the first week vacation so I can be home with them and plan to take them to the theme park and keep them busy while dad is gone. When he returns, he plans to spend the second week with them while I return to work.

He is in the process of asking for a change of custody due to the children's mother physically and emotionally abusing them and threatening to leave the USA with them. Can my husband get in trouble if he had to leave the children with me while he is working? We parents (and kids) feel that everything will be just fine but my husband and I are afraid their mama would use this against him.

When I met my husband 2yrs ago, he explained that he had two kids from a previous relationship but his baby's mama only used him, kept leaving him, neglected and abused the kids and vowed to "ruin his life" because she never wanted to be a mother. He explained how she pulled the kids' hair, cursed them, threw them by the hair, let them eat products from under the counter and let them pull a chair up to the sink to play with knives. He told about the time he came home to find his 18mo. old daughter wandering in the street because the mama was inside on the computer! They broke up when she started a fight, threw a drink on him, wrestled for the car keys and left. The police came back to arrest him because she claimed he hit her, so he is still paying for a 22K bail fee. The charges were dropped because of her written confession. He was so scared of her, that he didn't know what to do about his kids. I helped him to establish paternity and get visitations.

We have had the kids almost every weekend now for over a year. I have a 2-3" booklet full of documentation about every visit, photos of injuries, belt marks, etc. and since we've had to report her to DFACS for abuse & neglect. The kids know me as "mama Roxanne" and him as "Daddy", and often say they don't want to go home. We were encouraged by DFACS to earn custody but my husband, having all the facts in the world just comes up with excuses why he won't, ie; attorney fees, work schedule.

What's worse, the babys' mama calls several times a day, starting as early as 3hrs after he picks them up to "say Hi", say "good night", say "good morning", "do you miss me?" etc. and his dumb butt answers the phone and lets her intrude in on his visit!! Forgive me for not wanting her to call my house to speak to these kids who are not even asking for her, aren't missing her and often chooses to refuse to speak to her, but I try to tell him to not answer the phone and now Im the bad guy? When she calls, it makes them act up and start fighting. Him allowing her to call is so disruptive, I feel totally disrespected and I fear for the kids' emotional well being. Im trying to protect the kids AND HIM because that is what he's asked me to do for the last year. Why is he doing this on purpose and do I have a right to be upset because I know her intentions are not right. What would you suggest I do?

The kids are 3 & 5yrs old, they cry when its time to go home and they constantly say they want to live with us. At this point, I feel like I have to just let him and her parent their kids in my house while I take a trip out of town or something.

When I met my hubbie 2yrs ago, he had two kids from a previous relationship (not married). When they broke up, she claimed he hit her to get him arrested "to ruin his life" so now he has to pay 22K for bail fee. They dropped the charges because she confessed in writing. She took off and filed child support, etc. He was afraid he'd never see them again, so I helped him establish paternity and get his visitations.

Well, he was granted his visitations all year now and this chick calls 2-3 times a day during his visits to "say hi" to the kids, "good morning" and "good night" WTF!? Half the times they don't even want to speak to her but my dumb *** husband answers the phone anyway and puts them on with her.

My problem is: if I am supposed to act like a mother, wife and woman of THIS house; don't I have the right to be this to these kids without interferance of "the other mother" checking in for her reports on them? I have spoken to my husband about this before but he doesn't see the disrespect towards me as his wife, their step mother and the woman of this house. Sometimes I think HE'S the only one who ever welcomes her calls!!

Guys, put the shoes on the other foot... if u met a woman who lost her kid to a trifling man, and you helped her get visitations... would you get pissed when this other dude calls 3 times a day on YOUR WIFE'S cell phone while you are trying to father this child????

My 20yr. old son came back home to "go to college and do better for himself." I was car-pooling him to two jobs and working myself (single mom/ widow, one car family). After having to rip and run to pick him up to and from work, etc. even at midnight with my 6yr old daughter, I finally decided to co-sign for a nice, used car for him.

Well, his "college plans" flopped, he started hanging with the party crowd, got fired and got a girl pregnant. His baby was born with defects due to drug use & partying and now he's working a minimum wage job and the baby's mama sits home. The child is back n forth to the hospital, etc and of course the car loan is in default.

I have worked nearly 15yrs to build and protect my credit and this problem is really doing damage to my credit report because I can't afford his car and insurance pmts. I used my tax return to catch up the loan & insurance pmts. and now I've hired a repo man. My intentions are to seize ownership of the car and to sell it asap. My son and his baby's mama owns 2 cars, title free but they don't run. I told them to sell one to repair the other and to give me my car back so I can sell it and protect both of our credit, but he refuses.

Does anyone have any suggestions / advice or guideance on a situation like this? Please don't bash me, I can't be responsible for all the kids that they might produce and I have minor children of my own that I still have to raise!!

My husband earned visitations with his children about 10 months ago. He works out of town and sometimes doesn't make it in until 10pm - midnight on Friday nights. When this happens I usually go pick up the kids for him since I get off at 5pm and its just easier; and his ex was perfectly fine with that arrangement... until lately!

Things are starting to get heated between us and her because we had to turn her in to DFAC's due to some evidence of abuse on the kids' from marks & bruises on their bodies. Now, she is threatening not to let me pick them up. The visitation papers say that child pick up is my husband's responsibility, but does "responsibility" include appointing a designated person; ie (me or someone else) to help with this? I don't mind because the sooner they can be picked up, the better on the kids!

My husband earned visitations with his two children about 10 months ago. His ex has been OK with me picking them up when my husband works late out of town, but lately things are getting heated between her & us since we've reported her to DFCS due of evidence of abuse from marks that we've been seeing on the kids. She has threatened not to let me pick them up anymore in his behalf. Do I have right to pick them up in his behalf since we are married?

My husband's ex is always asking for more money above and beyond what he is ordered to pay. If he was to take the requested amounts and hand it over to the child support office to be dispursed to her as usual, would he be credited for it?

My husband's ex is not a US Citizen. They have two kids together and when they were together he claimed the kids on his taxes, of course. But now that they are apart and she has custody of them, she wants him to to claim the kids and give her half.

My husband has serious trust issues with his ex because of things in the past, so he requested that she put the permission for him to claim them in writing. Of course, she doesn't want to write anything out, so she has mentioned that she will find "somebody" ie: her Auntie? to claim them so she can get the money from someone else.

What kind of trouble could everyone involved get into?? Including my husband for requesting a permission slip from his ex?

Thanks much!!

I signed up under a Florida Rep who's in the Jacksonville unit which is over 127 miles away from my house! However, there are other units in a nearby Georgia town in which this area provides local training. The problem is, in order for me to change units, I heard that I would have to remain "inactive" for a year first, then I could sign up somewhere else. Why would I be penalized so harshly for mandatory training so far away? (which also poses as a serious safety issue since I sometimes get home way after 11pm) Is there any way around this to make a unit change without penalty?

I signed up under a N. Florida consultant, but learned that my unit, training classes and meetings are all based out of Jacksonville, Fl which is at least a 125 mile drive one way for me! I don't feel that the monthly class dues are fair since I will not be using the Jacksonville facilities and that it is such a sacrifice to even attend.. AND... Im afraid to recruit anybody because I wouldn't want them to have to face this problem either. I work in Valdosta, Ga and wanted to switch units but my contract says I have to exit out for an entire YEAR first! Is there any way around this????

I am suspecting my hubbie of cheating... im hoping im not right, but he came home extra late last night, not wearing his wedding band, hopped in the shower (as usual, though) but when he came to bed he was "frisky" and when I went down on him and slid back the foreskin I noticed soft, white pasty-like "stuff" under the foreskin. It didn't have a sour or rank smell to it......

He "performed" normally and was full of semen....

do you think he slept with someone within the past 6hrs?

OK.. this is weird. We've been married about 9 months now, and when I mentioned I would like a cell phone of my own, my hubbie gladly gave me his old ph. and wanted to add me onto his family acct (he has his sis and oldest son on w/ him). I found some texts to some girls, one in particular that he was obviously crazy about, until he proposed to me..... I confronted him and we had a slight falling-out about some of the things he was texting her while we were dating. OK... but since then, he's been secretive about who calls him, he either turns his ph. off, or lays it upside down, and makes calls in private, etc. He can sense that Im super pissed about this behavior, but I don't know what to do.

He's also going through some child care/money issues with his ex and mentioned to me last night that the ex is asking for more for child care, etc. over the above child support he's responsible for... I told him that I would talk to the lawyer before agreeing to anything... last night he was outside talking on the phone and when he saw me, he ended the call and came inside. I was mad through the night and this morning he got up extra early, took with him a dress shirt and left...

WTF is going on??

He's with me, he married me, he calls me regularly day & night, always says he loves me, thinks the world of me.....

So, what is my problem??

Read more on my previous questions, but basically my husband just earned visitations with his kids, but he hasn't had proper "closure" yet with his ex.. so there's high anxiety and tension.

He wants me present when he picks them up, and he makes sure his wedding band is on prior to seeing her... but I can just FEEL the nervousness in him when he's around her or when she calls, and I can feel his jealousy when he sees her new bf. Why is this bothering me?

How can I relax and what would a husband want his new wife to do. (I know he can sense my jealousy, although I try hard to hide it and be neutral.)

What kind of "mental" phrases can I keep in the back of my head to help me realise I don't have crap to worry about.... or do I?

He's with me, he married me, he calls me regularly all day/night.. constantly says he loves me, thinks the world of me.....

What is my problem??

Read more on my previous questions, but basically he just rec'd visitation rights for his kids and hasn't had proper "closure" with his ex due to the way the break up ended....

He wants me present at the pick up/exchange, he makes sure his wedding band is on when he sees her... but I can just FEEL his nervousness when he deals with her... as well as his jealousy when he sees her new bf. Why is this bothering me? How can I relax and what would a man prefer that I, as his new wife to do during these times?

What kind of reassuring "phrases" can I put in my mind to help me know I don't have crap to worry about...... or do I?

I know, I know.. when you marry the guy- you marry his whole family AND his past! LOL! But someone please help me by offering me some positives as to why I should accept this bimbo and keep up the patience to have to deal with her!

She has used my hubbie, stole from him, had him thrown in jail for false accusations and then corrected her statement so he could be released, she allegedly beats on the kids (they have a 2 & 4yr old) she loves drama and will create some in a minute! He just earned visitations, so now I have to deal with Baby Mama Drama. She is an illegal alien who ended up having a couple of "anchor babies" by a hard working dude so she can get all the benefits. That was her sole purpose of coming here! My hubbie is SOOoo warm and kind hearted, wouldn't hurt a fly. All he wants to do is to see his kids and to provide for them and to make sure they're safe. He literally fears for their lives because he says she is very neglectful and emotionally/physically abusive towards them and he has no idea who they are around/with... different guys, etc. The kids are absolutely adorable, but they have no house training, no manners, and they HATE to go back home to her! Sometimes I just want to pick up the phone and report her as an unlicensed driver so she can be arrested and hauled off & deported. Why am I feeling like this? I hate myself for feeling so vendictive!