Kassandra

I'm pretty sure my roommate had a minor heart attack the other day. Her hand and arm went numb, and she felt sharp pain in the center of her chest, and she had trouble breathing. She's only 26, but I know it can still happen to young people, and she recently lost her job and had to default on her student loans, so I know she's been stressed out lately.

Neither of us have health insurance though. Well, I'm 23 so I'm still on my parent's policy, but it isn't like I can transfer it over to her (plus even with insurance the bill would probably suck anyway). So naturally, she didn't want to go to the hospital, and I didn't know what to do so I didn't force her (would they have turned her away because of the no insurance issue?) Anyway, I've been wondering ever since though if the U.S. is ever going to get a universal healthcare system. It's just so damn logical and it would really help the middle class, and yet so far we're behind everyone. Honestly, there are third world countries with it! Among the "developed" world, we are the only country without it! I know the transition might not be easy, but wouldn't it be best for everyone in the long run? I myself haven't been to the doctor in three years because even with insurance the tests and co-pays and stuff just get so expensive. And forget about the dentist! I have several cavities right now (they've been around for over a year), but no dental insurance. So, I have no choice but to try and keep them clean. It's either that or default on my student loans in order to pay for them, and so basically, I can't really afford either option. For a first-world country, certain things really do suck! Sorry about the rant, but what are your thoughts?

I guess you can say I've been a little confused for some time now-- I know I'm not a lesbian, but I've wondered if I am bisexual. However, I've also always been the kind of person who longs to have distinguishing/unique traits and features, so I recognize that this could be a result of this inner desire rather than who I actually am (I hope that makes sense). I mean, not once have I had a real crush on any girl, though in all my 23 years of life I've crushed on plenty of guys and have only been with guys romantically. I have fantasized about having sex with girls (nobody in particular), but I do tend to fantasize more about guys. But last night I had a dream where I was with a girl-- I don't even remember if we were going to have sex or not, but maybe? -- and in the dream she asked if I was bisexual. And I just said, "Oh, yeah. I'm bisexual" like it was just a fact.

Can anyone relate? To summarize: I'm definitely romantically and sexually attracted to guys, but I've had sexual thoughts about women in general. However, I don't know if I could be in an actual relationship with a woman.

We've been together for about a year now, and we've known each other for longer. We both live (not together) in New Jersey, as I work in Manhattan and he works close by in Hoboken. Now, I promised myself a long time ago that I would move to California by age 25. I'm 25 now, and the urge to move across the country is stronger than ever. See, I hate the cold-- absolutely LOATHE it, and I just don't think I can handle another winter here without spiraling back into deep depression. It's winter now, and I feel sad and depressed every time I go outside. I've lived in New York City and New Jersey my entire life, but I've wanted to move to Southern California since I visited it when I was five (I've gone back several times and loved it more and more each time). Cali's been calling to me, and while I have friends and family here on the East Coast, I just don't think I can live here anymore. I lost my uncle in 9/11 (and I have to pass by ******* ground zero every day on my way to work), my car was destroyed in Hurricane Irene, and my parents lost their house this past year with Superstorm Sandy. I feel like this place will always be home to me in a way, but at this point there are just so many horrific memories-- My boyfriend is asking me to wait "at least another year or so" and is always saying it'll if I stay with my current job so I can continue paying off college, but I know that he's saying that with the hope that I'll change my mind in that time. I know I won't. I love him, and he may even be "the one", but I just can't live here anymore. Is there a way to convince him to come with me? I don't want to break up, but I need him to understand that I really just can't stay here. Maybe one day I'll return, but for now I just have to get out. Advice? Not expecting any miracles here, but any outside perspectives are greatly appreciated.

Also, to anyone who may try to tell me that I shouldn't move, please know that doing so is useless-- I WILL be leaving here. At this point, it's move or die for me.

I'm about to turn 23, and I actually want to do something this year. The problem is, I haven't really made a big deal out of my birthday in a long time, so I don't think anyone is really going to want to do anything or expect to do anything for it (I'm definitely not the type of person who is like "It's all about me! Everyone come celebrate me!") See, I'm a triplet, so I've always shared my birthday with two other people, which I hated as a child. As I got older I didn't care so much, but I also cared less and less about my birthday. I secretly wanted a Sweet Sixteen like all my friends, but I knew there was no way my parents could afford even a small-scale one, and so I didn't do anything. That was the first of not doing anything for my birthday... until my 21st when I was studying abroad, and my host family bought me a cake which was super nice. Last year on my 22nd, almost all of my friends forgot it was my birthday and I was too busy to do anything anyway, so I didn't remind them (for the record, some of them did wish me a happy birthday a few days later).

Now that another birthday is coming up though, I feel like I'll just get so depressed if nothing happens yet again. The problem is that now I'm out of college, and so I no longer live super close to all of my friends. What should I do? Is it selfish to want people to come do something for my birthday?

I recently spent several months in a foreign country with a group of people from all over the USA. Prior to my trip, I was a very liberal person from NJ who thought super religious people of any religion were just ignorant. Now that I have lived with these very different people, I have seen the error of my ways in that I myself was pre-judging people who were already forming judgements about myself. No, I have not "found God" or anything like that, but I am a very happy non-religious person (not necessarily atheist if you care to know) who now has many friends who are very religious. The point is, please stop pre-judging others before you really know who they are as human beings. If they have different beliefs than you, that's perfectly fine and it doesn't mean that either of you are at a disadvantage. The only belief I am ever going to push on someone from now on is one of tolerance and peace :)