Zach

Talking to this girl online, she asked if I know the key to life, I need a funny answer but can't think of one. Any ideas? It's been  a very joke latent conversation so far so it has to be funny. 

Hello, I am a rather portly fellow in my mid 30's. Most of my fat resides in the belly area. I want to start diet and exercising, I just don't know which diet is best for losing that kind of fat. Please help.  

So I am a 36 year old male. I have always been in decent shape, with normal weight, but this last 6 years I ballooned up from like 160 to 245. Now I am grossly overweight, very unhealthy, poor eating habits, don't exercise. I really want to start to get healthy again, but I just don't know where to begin. There are so many different diets and exercises out there, how do I know which one is right for me? So what kind of professional should I seek to help me figure out all this to take the right steps? Do I go see a dietitian? A personal trainer? Who do I go see? I don't want to spend a ton of money going to all sorts of different specialists. Who would be the best to start with? 

If you have ever taken an amphetamine, it really makes you motivated and in a "I can do anything" state. A lot of the highest ranking Nazi's were drug addicts. I think that contributed to a lot of their attitudes.

So I am a 36 year old male. My biggest problem is I just don't know what I want to do with my life, in terms of a career. I have mainly worked retail all my life. I worked at a grocery store for 12 years, hated it, worked other various jobs, and it never worked out. I thought I found what I wanted to do with my last job, which was working at a very popular music instrument store, but I got fired for some BS reason. So now I am stuck, unemployed again at 37, having no idea what to do. I got to figure it out, and soon. I have a BS in psychology, but that doesn't really help with anything. I'm just at a loss, I don't know what to do. Help!

I've never done it before, but it seems like something I would be very interested in. My main interest is football, but I would like to do it for a bunch of different sports. Do people make a living out of this? How do you go about starting in a career in this?

This is driving me up the wall. Sometimes it will beep 4 times a minute. None of the brake lights are out, I checked the brake fluid, but this stupid sensor and beeping noise just won't stop. Help!

To me, it makes much more sense to have your backup QB doing this than the punter. Think about it, if something goes wrong with the snap, who would you rather have the ball with, a punter or a QB? Duh. The 2009 Saints did this and it worked pretty well.

I just bought a Asus X751LAB laptop. It has the feature where if you double tap the mouse pad, it clicks on whatever its on. This is very annoying. It makes me click on things I didn't want to click on. I went to the mouse settings and couldn't find the setting to turn it off. I use to have an Acer and it was right there, I think it was called a Smartpad, but no where to be found on this thing.

So I need to buy a new laptop. The only thing I really need to use it for is go on the internet and use office. I prefer Windows 7, Windows 8 sucks, not sure what Windows 10 is like. I also prefer Acer. I'm only looking to spend maybe $400 max. I have had Acers in the past and they work great. Any thoughts on which one I should get and from where would I get the best price?

So when I put a identification microchip in my cat, I paid for the membership for one year. Now one year later, that membership is expiring soon. So I am trying to find out that if (God forbid, knock on wood) my cat escapes and gets lost, if someone finds him and they scan him and the chip, do I need to pay the membership to be told my cat has been found or for it to work? Basically do I actually need the membership?