rebekah

I have learned through psychology courses and other training classes that routines make children feel secure, because they know what's coming next, and that makes them feel like they have control, and in general what to expect out of their day. I learned it is important to keep children aware of changes in their routines, for this also gives them a feeling of security and that they are important.

My girls, they know whats coming next on school days, I pick them up from the after school program, we go home, the school aged one does some homework, I make dinner, they play for a little bit while I clean up, they have bath time, and then bedtime. They know they have Friday night 'Party Night', pizza, and a movie, and get to stay up a little bit later. I keep them abreast of weekend plans. They are pretty well adjusted. They communicate when they don't want to do something, or what they are excited to do. It's the whole expectation of being aware of your own life.

Now, on the contrary, I had some neighbors whose children were allowed to go until they dropped. Seriously. The kids would be out on the patio at 130 am with their parents. The kids napped through the day, falling asleep at 5pm and waking at 8pm, because they were so exhausted, and then the parents are like oh I don't know why they won't just go to sleep at 8 like other kids do! These are little kids, too. One family had a 1 year old and 3 year old, the other family, a 7 year old, and 4 year old. The kids looked tired, bags, dark circles under the eyes, were irritable ALL the time, had issues with following direction from their parents. I asked one of these Moms once, don't you want your kid to have a schedule so he knows what's going on in his life? And he'll be better rested in the am, and have a better day? She replied that he doesn't go to school yet, so he can stay up as late as he wants to... Yes, BUT....!! I didn't argue with her, of course, and I understand every family has their own ways which work for them, but it's like, you can't get mad at your kid, for being whiny, and unstable emotionally, because they went to bed at 1am, and had to wake up at 7am to go drop the sibling off at school! Just doesn't make any sense to me. Furthermore, the one family with the older set, on weekends the school aged child is allowed to stay up until whenever she feels like and on Sunday night is expected to just readjust her sleep schedule for school. It's shocking. I understand parents want to sleep in on the weekends, but when you start that pattern with your kids, it doesn't responsible.

I am NOT one of those parents who think their way is the ONLY way, I am open to different parenting styles as long as kids respond to it, and they aren't being hurt. This 'parenting' seems lazy and in a way like they can't be bothered, it's too much effort to give the kids a bedtime, and stick to it! It is much easier to let the kid watch movies for 6 hours a night and then pass out on the floor in front of the TV!

Routines with children are proven to give the kids a more secure life, and feel better cared for by their parents. They know this, we all know this. I mean, imagine at your house or job, just being dragged around and your boss/spouse springing projects and things on you, from one minute to the next..

Who agrees? Why? Who does not agree? Why not? I am very interested in varying opinions on what you other parents think about schedules, school night schedules, more casual weekend schedules, etc. Do you have a tentative schedule? Do you keep your kids updated on changes in the family schedule? Do you think this helps them? How and why?

Does anybody else feel that at Starbucks, either in the store or drive-thru, or at places like Subway, you should not be required to tip? I have an issue with leaving a tip when I am not being served. In a restaurant, you tip because the waiter/waitress is bringing your food and drink to you, cleaning your table, and providing a certain ambiance. In Starbucks, you order at a counter, pick up your own drink, and clean up after yourself. I recently saw a tip jar in Subway as well. What's next, tipping the McDonald's people? Tipping the cashier at the grocery store or mall?? I truly don't believe these are tip-worthy positions! And, yes, I will simply not tip if I don't feel like it. I was just wondering if anybody else sees this as I do??

The brother of a friend of mine died. He mentioned I should come, if I like. I told him to let me know where and when it will be. Do you find it strange I attend a funeral for somebody I have never met? I will go to support my friend, and be there for him, but as far as mourning this individual, I won't be doing any of that, because I didn't even know the guy. I will go, but do you consider that strange at all? I am worried, to be honest, that I will be out of place, not a part of the family or close friends of the family..

Now, I do not frequent this section, Family and Relationships very often, and this is why: there are an overwhelming amount of childish responses and questions! So many questions about he said, she said, on FaceBook, and she texted, then I said, and he looked at me like this, what should I think?! Blablabla...

I think only people who have FINISHED puberty, and are no longer posing questions about what their FB status/response/interpretation should be, are allowed to answer ANY question in relationship, dating, etc. because the emotional maturity is non existent to engage in the complexities of said 'relationships'. Evidence is viewable in many questions and answers, where simple decisions are turned into a 3 ring circus of confusion. Let's start a petition! Yes?

TO ALL YOU GENIUSES OUT THERE WHO ARE GOING TO ANSWER MY QUESTION, WITH A (SELF DEFINED) "WITTY" COMMENT e.g. Well, don't come into this section then, or something inanely similar, GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FINISHED WITH PUBERTY YET (or you are an adult who will never mentally move past the pubescent mind set!) hehehehehe Yes, that means you, with the $#itty look upon your face!

My daughter wears navy blue uniform skirts, pants, shorts, and jumpers. Every time I wash them they are loaded with white lint, tiny little pieces and larger more noticeable pieces. I have tried washing the dark load before the lighter loads, but that doesn't help. What can I put in the dryer, to get the lint off? I heard something about a damp cloth will get it off if you run the dryer with it in there. Any other tips? We do not have time to detail the clothes with a sticky lint remover every morning either, so other suggestions are appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

I live in the sweltering heat of the desert. I have heard tourists, snowbirds, and newcomers make remarks such as, It's a dry heat, and the sun is shining all the time! Indeed, the air IS dry, which means the 115 degree F dry air gives you a nice burn if there is even slight wind, as it carries sand around with it. Yes, the sun shines all the time, from May until October (yes, 6 months of the year, over 100 degrees F!), bringing children to play at a park is completely out of the question because the playground equipment is hot they will literally get burnt touching it, and exercising outdoors is risky, as a nice hike can quickly turn into heat stroke. Maybe, instead of being a snowbird, I can be a desert bird, and go to Northern Canada from May to October? Any Canadians up for a switch?!

So, I live in Arizona. I find it disturbing that sooooo many seemingly educated adults, refer to the Mexican people as 'Spanish'. And, NO, before anyone suggests it, they are NOT referring to the language. Specifically, their ethnicity and race. For example, a teacher was talking about the Hispanic kids in her classroom, and how it's sometimes hard to remember (how to pronounce) their names, because they are so different often from typical American names. She said,'You know, the Spanish kids in my class...' Oh my goodness gracious people! You SPEAK Spanish in Mexico, Mexican people are NOT Spanish, they are MEXICAN!! And no, I'm not even Hispanic, but this bugs the hell out of me! Also, Puerto Rican people are NOT Mexican, Cuban people are NOT Mexican, people from anywhere in South America, are also, believe it or not, NOT Mexican. Shouldn't we all be aware of these facts by the time we are adults? I would accept this mistake from a child, not college graduates.... but then again a degree does not give you common sense, does it?!

I know we have all had this issue at one point or another. I have a zit, right under my left lip, close to the corner of my mouth, on that super sensitive skin. It's getting a white head on it, and is very inflamed, and gross looking. I put a nice glob of toothpaste on it last night, and between the mint (which is good for redness) and fluoride (which helps with inflamation), it looked like it shrank a little. But now it is just as bad as it was last night. I do not think popping it is a good idea, bc it will look like oral herpes, first of all, ,and second of all, that sensitive skin takes forever to heal. So, first off, what can I put on it to shrink it, and what can I use for the redness? I have a salicylic acid scrub at home, should I scrub or would this be as bad as popping it? I am 30!! Pimples are not cool at my age, ahh!

Thanks to your tips in advance!

I would like to rent a condo, apartment or time share over the summer, so I need a good, reliable recommendation for where to start looking online. This will be out of State, and I am (of course) a little apprehensive about sending someone I've never met a few hundred dollars. Should I just go see a travel agent or do you know of a site with honest people??

So, a woman I am around every day (this is unavoidable) insists on giving unsolicited parenting advice, and acts as if she has some insight in EVERYBODIES child that each parent somehow does not possess! Now, all us parents know how annoying advice can be, when you didn't ask in the first place. This lady has something to say about everything! Very overbearing. Now, as far as her family is concerned, they need no improvement, despite the fact they are all morbidly obese individuals, including the four year old, who is unable to walk to the playground without becoming out of breath and sweaty. I thought I would throw that in the story so you understand what is really going on here. Another important detail is that she doesn't exactly just 'give' the advice , she kind of corrects you if you are talking about your kids, or even addressing your own kids!

Do you think this woman really does in fact think she knows better than everybody?

Regardless of you answer, how do I ever so politely brush her off and develop an understanding that her comments do nothing but make me (and I am sure others) want to not have conversation with her .. EVER!

And, lastly please keep in mind it is impossible for me to not see her, so suggesting I do this will not provide me any advice.

Thanks a ton!

Rebekah :).

The Respondent in my case filed a motion to extend his answer date, to my petition. It was granted, and he has until 10-29-10 to submit his answer. So, my question is this: may I file for Default ON 10-29-10, or do I wait until Monday?

OK, one more question, even IF the Respondent answers on 10-29-10, and submits his answer to the court and did not cause me to be SERVED yet, does that still count as 'answering/responding' even though he has not proved he notified me?(This is required, but I am unable to find the EXACT info on the AZ Self-Serve site!)

Any knowledge is appreciated!

I live in a Condo Community. The HOA people have rules and regulations to keep the area nice and to avoid run down, broken down cars, RV's and so on from parking in our lot. The HOA has some kind of contract with this towing company and the towing company 'scouts' the lot multiple times a day. They tow everyones car(s). It is ridiculous. They towed my car (because they weren't paying attention to their 'new resident list' pertaining to covered parking), Mom's car (backed into a spot), neighbours' cars (expired tags, parked too close to the line, brand new car had temp. plate and therefore no tags!!!).

EVERY person I talk to in this community says their car has been towed, no joke. The HOA is using the parking rules to terrorize the tenants, instead of towing peoples cars who are an ACTUAL threat. Isn't this opportunistic? Even if their HOA rules state certain parameters, it doesn't mean they are legal! This is total unreasonable seizure of our property, and is violating my 4th Amendment Rights (unreasonable Search and Seizure). Can I sue these people? I don't want damages, just for them to STOP this, it is really ridiculous!

BTW, this is AZ.