Fluer De Lis

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. I have seen his family 6-7 times and I was recently invited by his mother to his niece s confirmation. I am not sure if I should buy her a gift or not. What does someone buy for a confirmation that isn t super personal (as I don t know her very well)?

My stepsister is an adult (in her 30s with a family of her own). Her relationship with my mother has always been a bit rocky. Nevertheless, they both try.

Last year during the holidays, my stepsister asked my mother to travel to visit her. My mother was prepared to do this, she had bought all the presents only to find out that her job fired her. With my mother living paycheck to paycheck, and just having spent all that money on gifts, my mother had to refuse to go up there to visit as the cost in gas would be too much when she had bills to pay at home.

My stepsister attempted to guilt trip my mother by holding the grandchildren over her head. My mother tried to tell her that it was not that she did not want to see them it was that it was too much money (at this point, we were is the process of possibly losing our home). In fact, my mother invited them down to visit at my mother's home as my stepsister has a friend who lives nearby who she usually goes to see during the holidays anyway. After explaining our financial troubles, my stepsister refused, saying that it is not such a big deal to travel down to where we live, after all my stepsister does it all the time. To which my mother said, if it isn't such a big deal for you to come down here, why don't you make the trip instead of it costing us the extra money we can't afford to spend.

My sister hung up. Things are so tense I can't stand it. Help me help them. I think my stepsister is being so rude not to even care

I was teaching at my church and I was asking the kids what they were thankful for. Many responded and I told them that we should be thenkful for many things because many people starve in other parts of the world. I asked a hypothetical question about if any one in the class has ever gone without food. Some children said that happened to them during Hurricane Sandy. In particular, one little boy had said that he once did something really bad so his parents would not let him eat for three days.

I was shocked to say the least. He is such a well behaved little boy who never speaks when the teacher is talking and does not rough house with the other kids. He is about 8 to 10 years old. I am not sure if he is exaggerrating or not and so I feel confused over whether or not I should contact the child education adminstrators at my church to let them know of this incident.

I would not want to break up a family inadvertently but if this is true I think this qualifies as child abuse.

What do you guys think?

I am asking about how old the students should be according to the expected capability of the students at a certain grade level. Is eighth grade too old to read this poem?

I am currently a student planning on using my degree of Secondary Education/English in a career as a teacher or librarian (or possibly working at a publishing company). These however are female dominated careers. As a shy person who dislikes the Friday/Saturday party scene, I fear that when I get into a job, I will not have opportunities to meet men to date. Essentially, I fear that I will become the crazy cat lady.

Any advice on how to meet men outside of my profession that is not uncomfortable. Or are their any suggestions of other careers based on my degree that have a more balanced population of men and women?

Please advise if you have been contacted to date regarding a clinical field placement.

I got the above sentence in an email. Is the person asking me to contact them back or are they trying to forewarn me.

Thanks.

I am a 21 year old woman who lives at home with my mother (while I finish college as it is the only way I can afford to pay). We have a great relationship and are very close. However, it has been remarked upon how young I look; as in 15 or 16. And so at the suggestion of someone, I decided to spend less time with my mother as it infers youth if I am tagging along all the time. I have very few friends, no boyfriend, or general social life to speak of which I blame on my introversion and shyness. I want to break out of this cycle and most importantly have more independence; all of which is that much harder if your peers think you are 7 years younger than they are.

Most of these times when she invites me out it is with her friends, although I have the same problem at the church we attend, which further enforces how young I look to others but also enforces the negative feelings associated with that in my own mind. If she invites me out to do something with her and it is not with her friends, she inevitably sees someone she knows and stops to talk to them for a while while I stand there and wait. I am in my twenties and no longer wish to be considered the child to tags along to be seen and not heard when she talks with her friends for hours. Especially since just walking away would be rude, and I have no other way to get home. I want others to consider me as an adult and to feel as an adult myself; not well behaved child who is along for the ride. But instead a woman with her own opinions and who makes a choice to be there.

I have been slowly refusing to go to events with my mother over the last two weeks to enforce this idea of independence and non-childishness, and tonight I tried to explain to her why. She was very offended; saying I don't get a choice when and where I get to be in her life, that she should get a choice, and several times she implied I get all or nothing. Then she changed her tune saying I should spend my time with friends (in a condescending way) and I shouldn't be surprised if she just picks up and leaves for a while without telling me. I told her that is a double standard and that she would at least expect me to call her and tell her where I was if I did the same thing.

I tried to explain to her that it is not her actions that are necessarily wrong, nor that I am jealous of her friends (which she implied as the reason why I feel this way); but rather that it is how her actions make me feel as if I am still a child and my tagging along shows other people I am still a child as well that does not sit right with me. I do not think she understood me. She proceeded to tell me that we should just forget about some of our family traditions because we will be seen in public, to which I told her she was not understanding me, that I want a good relationship with her as an adult because it is time the dynamic changed. And then she kicked me out of her room (where we were talking) and blamed me for ruining her nights sleep and her interview tomorrow morning.

I tried to tell her it wasn't about her so much, as it was about how I feel. I think she took it as I was rejecting her (both my other sisters had quite nasty separations from my mother-one blamed her for a divorce, claiming that my mother never was there even though she was, and the other left when she betrayed my mothers trust and snuck around inviting wanted drug dealers in our home and disappearing for months). I think she overreacted, but I understand her reasons for doing so, believing I would repeat history and hate my mother too (which she admitted in our conversation).

I am afraid I ruined my relationship with my mother for the sake of my personal growth. I want to grow up and live as an adult as well as keep a good relationship with my mother.

Any advice would be appreciated as long as it is respectful.

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The photo is on the site listed above, the third picture down. Thanks for your help.

I know I look young, I get comments on it all the time; but this is really starting to become a problem. I realized this when I was a church picnic and my mother and I were talking about staying with a family friend who goes to our church while we transition to a new home with a group of people from our church. The family has a young son maybe age 13 or 14. It was suggested by another person in the group we were talking with that it would be okay to sleep in the same room as him during our stay. I am a 21 year old woman. Does no one see that this is inappropriate? (Clearly, the mother did as she shot down that suggestion quickly which I was thankful for because I was going to have a difficult time dealing with that situation without rejecting their hospitality).

What makes it worse is that this same young kid invited me to his birthday party. A sweet gesture really, but I want to be a teacher of middle and high school English and I can not help but think that my youthfulness will affect my success in that environment as well as my success in proceeding to have any romantic attachments (by which I mean I have had no success).

I do not think it is in the way I carry myself or in the clothing I wear, though I certainly do not dress like other young women my age. In addition, I probably have to include that have belonged to the church since I was a child and so they most likely do not see me in any other light than as a child.

Still, this is both frustrating and worrying to me. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks.

My mother wants to get a dog to help her emotional/mental health so she can get out of the house to excercise, meet new people, and feel better than she has lately.

I am a college student off for the summer and my mother is unemployed for the time being, though she plans on going back to work and I go back to school in the Fall. So we will have time to train and take care of it if only in the near future. But clearly a working dog with an excitable, energetic nature would be ill suited.

She is looking for a medium sized dog, no bigger than 50-60 lbs and no small yippy dogs either. It would have to be good with people, children especially as she has 3 grandchildren. She also wants the dog to be kind of a security system; no so much that it would protect us from someone in the house but she wants a dog thats bark is stronger than its bite (if you will excuse the cliche). Essentially, a dog that would bark if we have visitors at the door just to warn us and ward off anyone who isn't supposed to be lurking around with a few barks.

My mother likes the look of a hound. But we are unsure of the types of breeds that may fit the type of dog we are looking for. Any help will be appreciated.

My mother wants to buy an Australian Shepard which has been offered to her. She thinks it is a good idea that it will get her out of her depressive moods and give her an excuse to get out of the house to exercise and meet new people. Plus, some studies suggest that people who own dogs live longer, healthier lives.

I am uneasy about this. I feel like this is the wrong time to get a dog considering that my mom just lost her job and though she feels confident about a few of her newly applied for positions nothing is for sure on the job front. I know I would feel bad if she were not able to get a job and we would not be able to pay for the dogs expenses anymore especially since we are living on a tight budget. On the other hand, I feel like denying her this opportunity feels like I am denying her happiness as my mother has put so much stock in this opportunity to get a dog to be helpful to her.

Do you think the positives of increased emotional/mental health outweigh the negatives? Please be considerate when answering.

My mother wants to buy an Australian Shepard which has been offered to her. She thinks it is a good idea that it will get her out of her depressive moods and give her an excuse to get out of the house to exercise and meet new people. Plus, some studies suggest that people who own dogs live longer, healthier lives.

I, on the other hand, am not so sure. The price of the dog is $500 plus an extra $100 for travel fees. Shots and neutering has been taken care of, but we haven't actually seen the dog in person. The owner lives in Georgia and sent us photos of the dog in question and have seen in person another pup in the litter (from a woman we met randomly at a fair where we got this guys name) who seemed to be healthy and well behaved.

I am uneasy about this. I feel like this is the wrong time to get a dog considering that my mom just lost her job and though she feels confident about a few of her newly applied for positions nothing is for sure on the job front. I know I would feel bad if she were not able to get a job and we would not be able to pay for the dogs expenses anymore especially since we are living on a tight budget. On the other hand, I feel like denying her this opportunity feels like I am denying her happiness as my mother has put so much stock in this opportunity to get a dog to be helpful to her.

What do you guys think? All I ask is that you please be considerate. Thank you.

I was discussing with my mother the reason why people think I am so young (I am 21 but people think I am 16). She seemed to think that I should be more extroverted because I am in college; that because I have the power of knowledge I should be more confident in social situations. Therefore, implying that there is something wrong with me. I do not think there is anything wrong with my preference for books over noisy trips to the bar with a large group of friends like most others my age. In fact, I do not think there is anything shameful about being introverted, or even being uncomfortable in social situations. My mother seemed to think that being introverted can be equated with not having confidence, not having my own ideas, displayed by my reluctance to jump into conversations I haven't been invited into (at a funeral for a family member yesterday) and a certain hesitancy when meeting new people or people I have not seen in a long time.

I do not know. It really upset me that she implied there was something wrong about me. But what do you guys think? Is my introversion something to be ashamed of?

I am going to the OBGYN in a few weeks and I am worried about what will happen during the check up and if it will hurt. Specifically the whole deal with the speculum. I mean, really?! All through childhood they tell you not to stick foreign objects in bodily orifices. No fingers in the nose, no pencils in the ears, etc. And then they tell you they are going to stick this metal contraption in your most intimate of intimates and you are supposed to agree to it because it is for your health. Um, no, I don't think so.

All joking aside, I understand this is what needs to happen; cancer runs in my family and anything that keeps me in the know about my body is important. I am just extremely nervous.

I have been to the OB before to check in and get birth control refilled but never to have a full check in, as I did not need it because I am not sexually active. But the last time the doctor said I was now of the required age to have that test. So I am a bit nervous and would like to educate myself the best I can on what to expect beforehand.

I am aware this is a bit this is a bit personal. So I appreciate any person willing to give me the straight up, honest answer. Thank you in advance.

I have just returned from Mexico. While I was there I was looking at the Mayan zodiac under my birthday which is October 23. The symbolism associated with that date is Zotz which is the night creature.

This new knowledge made me wonder why October and the people born in this month always have a negative or evil undertone to them. Clearly, this occurs in the traditional zodiac of Scorpio however I can understand this because that particular zodiac was most likely influenced by the Pagan turned Christian beliefs in Halloween during October. However, this influence should not affect a older and isolated culture like the Mayans. I have also seen this negative undertone in other astrology systems.

So does anyone know the reason for this? Why all the negative influence for people born in October?

I do not put much faith in astrology anyway, but I am interested as to why this seems consistent across different methods. Thank you for any light you may be able to shed on this.

I am traveling to Mexico for a vacation through JetBlue but I do not want to go through the hassle of checking my luggage (as I had had it lost before leaving me with no clothes for an entire vacation, not very relaxing I can guarantee you, and I didn't get my bag back until a full month after I returned from my trip). So I was wondering if there are any limits on what I can bring, mainly I am concerned about my toiletries (they confiscated my suntan lotion when I was going to New Mexico a few years ago and I roasted like a lobster with my pale skin under the desert sun). How much can I bring of a liquid or cream to have it allowed on the plane through carry on? Any suggestions or helpful tips? Should I take the risk and check it?

Okay so I heard through the grapevine that the mother of my youth pastor at my church just died. I respect him very much as he was there for my father's funeral, so it would be nice to show my support.

The issue is I have not seen or heard from this pastor in almost two years, I do not know if he would even remember me as he is with a new church now. I have never even met his mother, although my father and this pastor knew each other well. And to be honest, I was never close with this pastor but I do respect him greatly as he helped me pull myself out of a small depression after the death of my father with just a few words.

I thank him for those words, but I recognize that they probably do not mean as much to him as they do to me. So the problem becomes whether or not I should go to the funeral, I do not want to stick out from the crowd and be selfish wanting him to remember me, and I would not really be honoring the memory of the person that died, just the memory of the person I respect who will be in grief. I do not think I will regret not going, but I won't regret going either

What do you guys think? Should I go or will it be too awkward?

Thanks in advance.

School is over now, I now I feel as if I have nothing to do. I have no friends outside of classes and no boyfriend, as much as I would like to have both in my life. I plan on excersise and my job as usual but I would like to find something I can immerse myself in. I am thinking maybe start writing again but I am open to suggestions or advice you may be able to give. Thank you in advance.

I am a little worried since I can't get a grade less than a B for my major. Here are my grades:

Grade 1: 100% worth 4% of my grade

Grade 2:100% worth 4% of my grade

Grade 3: 88.75% worth 10% of my grade

Grade 4: 90% worth 15% of my grade

Grade 5: 88% worth 15% of my grade

Grade 6: 87% worth 15% of my grade

Grade 7: 92.9% worth 7% of my grade

There are two grades I haven't gotten back yet. If I had to guess, I would say:

Grade 8: 80% worth 15%

Grade 9: 90% worth 15%

So what is my grade? Thank you in advance.

How can you say this phrase another way: Such being the notions under which I have