Ambria King

I have really bad stretch marks on my stomach from pregnancy. Its been three years and the marks have lightened but the skin around my belly button looks so loose, wrinkly, and saggy. My weight tends to fluctuate within a ten pound range and ive noticed when im bigger, my stomach actually looks tighter. Ive been trying to get healthy lately and have really been sticking to an exercise routine and diet. Ive lost 7 lbs so far and im happy. Ive been trying to tone up by doing a lot of circuit and weight training, but im afraid that no matter what, the skin on my stomach will never tighten up. Is it possible for me to get a tight tone stomach without surgery?

I was sick for a couple days and had a fever. After the cold subsided, the skin on my face started peeling. At first it was mild and just around my nose and mouth. I thought it was from blowing my nose so much, but it's been a couple days and it's starting to get worse and had spread over my entire face and into my scalp. Certain parts itch, like behind my ears, and no matter how much lotion I apply it's not helping. Any suggestions as to what this might be and how to treat it? I generally have very oily skin on my face and no history of eczema. I haven't started using any new products except for a new scent of laundry detergent.

Let me apologize before hand for this being so long. Please take the time to read it though.

First off, here's some background info. I'm half black and half white. Both my parents are half black and half white. Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers are white and both my maternal and paternal grandfathers are black. I grew up in a house where "the n word" was absolutely not allowed seeing as how when my grandparents first got together back in the 50's my grandfather's life was threatened for dating a white woman and my grandmother was called a "n lover". So when they moved away from that small town in Indiana, out to California, they never allowed that word in their house and I grew up as that being a rule.

So anyways, I'm dating this guy, and he's AMAZING. I'm so in love with him. We've been living together for about 7 months and I've never been happier. He's half White and half Salvadorian. His mother is white. Anyways, his mother and his grandmother were coming over to our apartment to have dinner with us for the first time and I was really nervous because I want them to like me, so I was running around making sure everything was spotless and ordering the kind of food that they like and making sure we had refreshments that they liked and whatnot. When they got there they sat down and had dinner with us and I thought everything was going well, until his mother said something about some guy being a n---er. I've never been one to hold my tongue, so I said "Excuse me, I just wanted to say that I really don't like that word and I would appreciate it if you didn't use it in my house" Then she proceeded to tell me that one of her best friends was black "dark as night" as she put it, and he says that if you take offense to that word it's because you are one. So my exact words were, "well, thats how he feels about the subject and he can do and say whatever he wants in his home, but this is my home and I don't like that word. It makes me uncomfortable and I feel that I have the right to be comfortable in my home." That shut her up.

The entire time this happened, my boyfriend stayed silent.

So after they left, my boyfriend said that he respected me for being a strong woman, but that I really created an awkward situation because that is his mother. Now his mom will hardly acknowledge my existence when I'm around her and I don't want it to be awkward, but I don't regret saying what I said, but did I over react?

Did Native Americans and other cultures that had no way of knowing about Jesus Christ prior to coming in contact with Europeans go to hell? I'm not religious, but I've always wondered where Christians stand on this. I mean, if according to the bible, everybody is born a sinner and the only way to overcome that sin is to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, then did Native Americans, who had no knowledge of Jesus Christ's existence, go to hell when they died?

When watching sitcoms and whatnot, it seems to me like the parents are always so patient with their children. They never yell. They never spank their children, and I find that most other parents I know try to act like they're the perfect parents when they're in public. I even do it myself, but the truth is I have a two year old and he drives me crazy. Obviously I love him to death. He's my entire life. He's a sweet boy, smart, funny, and a blast to be around but he's kind of a jerk. I watch shows like super nanny and things like that, and I'm like... yeah right. When I try and put my son in the naughty corner, he just runs away and I can keep putting him there over and over again, but he'll just keep running away and lets face it, he's 2, he has far more energy, stamina, and determination than I do. I find that a nice, firm swat on the behind works far more efficiently. I don't beat my child. I would never leave him bruised or verbally abuse him, but I do let him know when his behavior is wrong and wont be tolerated. I just wanted to know, do most parents admit that they are not nearly as patient as television portrays parents being?

I do not like organized religion. I have claimed that I am Agnostic, but I don't think I am. I believe in a higher power (although I do not claim to know what exactly that higher power is) I just believe in something bigger than myself. I don't think this higher power cares about my day to day life or judges us harshly. I believe in the existence of a soul. I believe that we are all individuals, yet we are all one. Like we are pieces to a puzzle. I believe that the "higher power" is within us all and actually within everything. Is there a name for this belief system?

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She was diagnosed 15 years ago. It took a long time, but she finally found a combination of therapy and medication that works for her. But recently it seems like she's getting bad again. She keeps getting mad about imaginary things. She just walked out of her room and asked me why I have to scream so much. I have no idea what she's talking about, and told her so, but she just told me that she was laying down and sleeping and was woken up by the sound of me screaming. I keep telling her that I haven't screamed. That I've been sitting on the computer minding my own business, but she doesn't believe me. She insists that I screamed. I know I didn't scream. This has been happening more and more lately. She banned my fiance from coming to her house because he "looked at her like she was lower than dirt" according to her. ( I know thats not true either. He has no reason to look at her like anything) She's in it with my uncle because she insists that she knows his wife is cheating on him, even though she has no proof. She is starting chaos with everyone and it's driving me crazy. What can I tell her? I feel like she has absolutley no ability to reason logically. I'm afraid she's going to lose it completely like she used to.

(She was very dangerous in the past. She's tried running people off the road in her car because they "cut her off", she showed up at my grandmas house and broke all the windows out of her car with a hammer and threatened to kill her, she used to call people in the middle of the night whispering crazy things about people watching her and trying to get her) She hasn't done any of that in over 3 years, but I feel like she's starting to get bad again and I'm afraid she'll start getting violent again soon.

What do I do?

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She was diagnosed 15 years ago. It took a long time, but she finally found a combination of therapy and medication that works for her. But recently it seems like she's getting bad again. She keeps getting mad about imaginary things. She just walked out of her room and asked me why I have to scream so much. I have no idea what she's talking about, and told her so, but she just told me that she was laying down and sleeping and was woken up by the sound of me screaming. I keep telling her that I haven't screamed. That I've been sitting on the computer minding my own business, but she doesn't believe me. She insists that I screamed. I know I didn't scream. This has been happening more and more lately. She banned my fiance from coming to her house because he "looked at her like she was lower than dirt" according to her. ( I know thats not true either. He has no reason to look at her like anything) She's in it with my uncle because she insists that she knows his wife is cheating on him, even though she has no proof. She is starting chaos with everyone and it's driving me crazy. What can I tell her? I feel like she has absolutley no ability to reason logically. I'm afraid she's going to lose it completely like she used to.

(She was very dangerous in the past. She's tried running people off the road in her car because they "cut her off", she showed up at my grandmas house and broke all the windows out of her car with a hammer and threatened to kill her, she used to call people in the middle of the night whispering crazy things about people watching her and trying to get her) She hasn't done any of that in over 3 years, but I feel like she's starting to get bad again and I'm afraid she'll start getting violent again soon.

What do I do?

This is long. I'm sorry in advance, but I would really appreciate an opinion.

My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch. We live together, but recently I've been staying with my mother and he's been staying with his family. I want to be with him and I want us to go home to our apartment. I've stated this clearly. He says he wants to be together too, but he's not ready for us to go home. (There was a really traumatic experience between us there, so I somewhat understand. No infidelity or anything, but still some intense stuff) So anyways, he's been coming and visiting me for half an hour or so everyday and he calls regularly, but he looks really distraught. He tells me he loves me all the time, but sometimes when we talk it's like he isn't there. Like he's distracted. I'm not the type of woman to throw myself at someone. I really do want us to be together, but I have a hard time acting desperate or anything like that. So anyways, he's asked me why I don't call him and I've told him that I'm sorry, I don't want him to feel like I'm bugging him. But since he told me that I've been calling him at least twice a day, but he still sounds sad and distraught when we talk. The other day when he was here visiting me we were standing outside and he was about to leave and we kissed, said "I love you" and "goodbye" but when he started to walk away I realized that I had left my phone on the top of my car in the drive way, so I walked over and grabbed it. He turned around and looked happy, but when he realized I was grabbing my phone he looked sad again. He told me that he thought I was going to follow him and ask him not to go. I told him that I didn't want him to go and if he wanted to stay, I'd really like it if he did, but he left. Today I called him just to tell him I miss him and we had a nice conversation but then I asked him when we were going to go back home and he told me he doesn't know yet. I told him that I know exactly what I want. That I love him and I want to be with him and that I want to go home, but if that's not what he wants then he should let me know and I'll move on. He told me that it sounded like I didn't care either way. I tried telling him that that isn't true. That I really do care if he comes home and that I really do want to be together, but I'm an adult and while it will hurt if we don't work out, I'm not going to die or anything. Then we changed the subject and the conversation got better and when he left we were on a happy note. Today he's called me twice and I've called him once. The first time we talked he sounded happy, the second time, distraught, the third time, when I called him, I asked him if at some point we could at least talk about going back to our apartment and he said the more I bring it up, the less he wants to talk about it. So I dropped it. In the back of my head, I kind of think he wants to break up with me, but if that's so I don't know why he tells me to call him more or gets sad when he feels like I'm not making enough of an effort. So do you think he wants to break up with me? Or do you think he just wants me to show more affection? I feel like this is so high school and I'm really getting frustrated because we're 24 years old and shouldn't be acting like this, but I just don't know what to do in the situation. I just want to go back to our home and us be together. Why do you think he's acting the way he is?

My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch. We live together, but recently I've been staying with my mother and he's been staying with his family. I want to be with him and I want us to go home to our apartment. I've stated this clearly. He says he wants to be together too, but he's not ready for us to go home. (There was a really traumatic experience between us there, so I somewhat understand. No infidelity or anything, but still some intense stuff) So anyways, he's been coming and visiting me for half an hour or so everyday and he calls regularly, but he looks really distraught. He tells me he loves me all the time, but sometimes when we talk it's like he isn't there. Like he's distracted. I'm not the type of woman to throw myself at someone. I really do want us to be together, but I have a hard time acting desperate or anything like that. So anyways, he's asked me why I don't call him and I've told him that I'm sorry, I don't want him to feel like I'm bugging him. But since he told me that I've been calling him at least twice a day, but he still sounds sad and distraught when we talk. The other day when he was here visiting me we were standing outside and he was about to leave and we kissed, said "I love you" and "goodbye" but when he started to walk away I realized that I had left my phone on the top of my car in the drive way, so I walked over and grabbed it. He turned around and looked happy, but when he realized I was grabbing my phone he looked sad again. He told me that he thought I was going to follow him and ask him not to go. I told him that I didn't want him to go and if he wanted to stay, I'd really like it if he did, but he left. Today I called him just to tell him I miss him and we had a nice conversation but then I asked him when we were going to go back home and he told me he doesn't know yet. I told him that I know exactly what I want. That I love him and I want to be with him and that I want to go home, but if that's not what he wants then he should let me know and I'll move on. He told me that it sounded like I didn't care either way. I tried telling him that that isn't true. That I really do care if he comes home and that I really do want to be together, but I'm an adult and while it will hurt if we don't work out, I'm not going to die or anything. Then we changed the subject and the conversation got better and when he left we were on a happy note. Today he's called me twice and I've called him once. The first time we talked he sounded happy, the second time, distraught, the third time, when I called him, I asked him if at some point we could at least talk about going back to our apartment and he said the more I bring it up, the less he wants to talk about it. So I dropped it. In the back of my head, I kind of think he wants to break up with me, but if that's so I don't know why he tells me to call him more or gets sad when he feels like I'm not making enough of an effort. So do you think he wants to break up with me? Or do you think he just wants me to show more affection? I feel like this is so high school and I'm really getting frustrated because we're 24 years old and shouldn't be acting like this, but I just don't know what to do in the situation. I just want to go back to our home and us be together. Why do you think he's acting the way he is?

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She was diagnosed about 15 years ago and after years and years of trial and error she has finally found a good combination of therapy and medication. She has improved leaps and bounds, but she still has moments of illogical behavior or thoughts. My fiance and I came over to visit her the other day, and I thought it was a nice visit, but a the next day when talking to my mother she informed me that my fiance "looked at her like she was lower than dirt". I know that this isn't true because my fiance really likes my mother and has never said an ill word against her. He likes going over and visiting her with me and makes it a point that I keep a good relationship with her. I know that she is just having a moment of paranoia and that she has been under a lot of stress lately, but she has told me that from now on my fiance isn't allowed over her house because he "looked at her wrong". This is absurd to me. This man is going to be part of my family soon and I already consider him my family. I don't want the awkwardness of him not being allowed to my mother's house, seeing as how that is where we spend holidays like Christmas and Easter. I want to tell her that the "look" was just in her imagination or that she has completely misinterpreted his facial expressions, but I know if I do she is just going to think that I'm calling her crazy. Is there anything I can say to her that might rectify the situation or would I have more luck talking to a wall than trying to reason with a schizophrenic who has their mind made up?

I am absurdly in love with my boyfriend. I've known him since we were in middle school and we're in our mid 20's now. We both had very rough childhoods and used to be heavy drug users. We've both quit using, but he still drinks heavily. He's a hard worker, provides for his family, and from the outside seems perfect in every way. Since we've lived together (the past 7 months) I've noticed that he often talks to himself. A couple months ago he told me that he always hears voices in his head. I love and accept him no matter what and will always be there for him and have told him so, but a couple of nights ago he went to a friends house and got extremely drunk. When he came home, it's like he was a completely different person. I know some people act differently when they're drunk, but this was WAY different. My boyfriend is an extremely loving, gentle, open minded man, but when he came in that night it was like he had transformed into a completely different person. He was so angry and he thrashed our entire apartment. I kept calling his name, and he kept saying "he's not here right now" That really worried me. I've gotten drunk with him plenty of times before (we started drinking together when we were 13) but he's never acted like this before. He got so violent that I felt it necessary to call the police. He spent 2 nights in jail and when he got out all he could do was apologize to me. He seems very embarrassed about the entire situation and when I asked him about how he kept saying that "_______ isn't here right now" all he could say was that it wasn't him that did it. I couldn't get anything else out of him. He told me that I should get as far away from him as possible because there's things about him I don't understand and he's afraid he'll end up hurting me. I don't believe that he's just a violent drunk. I feel like something way more complex is going on. When I've heard him talking to himself, I've heard him say things like, "I told you this was going to happen" and then he'll answer himself saying "shut up, I didn't ask for your opinion." It's like there's 2 people in his head. Maybe more. He talks to himself when he's sober. This one time when he was drunk is the only time that it's actually like he transformed into another person. I know he needs help, but I'm just wondering what kind of disorder might he have?

I am absurdly in love with my boyfriend. I've known him since we were in middle school and we're in our mid 20's now. We both had very rough childhoods and used to be heavy drug users. We've both quit using, but he still drinks heavily. He's a hard worker, provides for his family, and from the outside seems perfect in every way. Since we've lived together (the past 7 months) I've noticed that he often talks to himself. A couple months ago he told me that he always hears voices in his head. I love and accept him no matter what and will always be there for him and have told him so, but a couple of nights ago he went to a friends house and got extremely drunk. When he came home, it's like he was a completely different person. I know some people act differently when they're drunk, but this was WAY different. My boyfriend is an extremely loving, gentle, open minded man, but when he came in that night it was like he had transformed into a completely different person. He was so angry and he thrashed our entire apartment. I kept calling his name, and he kept saying "he's not here right now" That really worried me. I've gotten drunk with him plenty of times before (we started drinking together when we were 13) but he's never acted like this before. He got so violent that I felt it necessary to call the police. He spent 2 nights in jail and when he got out all he could do was apologize to me. He seems very embarrassed about the entire situation and when I asked him about how he kept saying that "_______ isn't here right now" all he could say was that it wasn't him that did it. I couldn't get anything else out of him. He told me that I should get as far away from him as possible because there's things about him I don't understand and he's afraid he'll end up hurting me. I don't believe that he's just a violent drunk. I feel like something way more complex is going on. When I've heard him talking to himself, I've heard him say things like, "I told you this was going to happen" and then he'll answer himself saying "shut up, I didn't ask for your opinion." It's like there's 2 people in his head. Maybe more. He talks to himself when he's sober. This one time when he was drunk is the only time that it's actually like he transformed into another person. I know he needs help, but I'm just wondering what kind of disorder might he have?

I have been diagnosed with ADD and depression. I've struggled with it most of my life. I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 21 (I'm 24 now) I was so happy when I was diagnosed because it was like everything suddenly made sense. I always had trouble getting along with people. I liked people, but they didn't like me. They always thought I was rude or just too intense. I sucked at having conversations (because I was always cutting people off) and people said I made them nervous because I could never stop fidgeting. I also have never been able to focus or concentrate, and I have a horrible memory. I essentially have always had all of the obvious signs of ADD, but I just thought I didn't fit in. I thought there was something wrong with me. Because I was such an outcast, I began having depression issues when I was about 13. By the time I was 19, I had attempted suicide. I had tried a million medications for depression, but none of them worked. It wasn't until I started treating my ADD that I finally started doing better. At 22 I was working 2 jobs, had finally acquired some friends, and was very happy in life. Then I lost my job, lost my insurance, and lost my access to medication. I have been off of medication for about a year and a half and most aspects of my life have started to go down the tube. All except 1. I am in an amazing relationship, with an amazing man, who loves me, works his butt off, and is always there for me. I have recently gotten insurance again and I know that I need to get back on medication, but my boyfriend is very against it. Even though I can give him clear examples of how medication has positively affected my life, he believes that everything is in my head and that I can control my ADD and depression. I am unemployed, can't remember things, cant focus on ANYTHING, my house and room are a mess, I keep losing things (I've lost my wallet twice in a 3 month period) and yet he doesn't believe I need medication. He thinks I just need to stop being lazy and pay more attention. If I could, I would, but my brain just doesn't work like that. I'm trying without meds, but I know that everything will be better if I take medication and I know that he will see the proof in the pudding, but we keep arguing about it. What can I tell him to help him understand?