charlie

I'm a 27 year old guy I used to feel depressed when I was younger but now I don't feel anything I've had 3 major psychotic episodes in the last 2 years and was on medication for a while and went to theropy for 6 months none of this helped me so I stopped the treatment I used to feel extremly depressed and lonely but now I don't feel anything I don't feel the need for love or even sex anymore to make matters worse I've recently become unemployed due to covid which was the only thing giving me any motivation in life the only thing I now get any kind of enjoyment out of now is drinking and sometimes that doesent even help I just feel like I don't belong in this world I never really have I've never been in a relationship don't have many friends and am not close with anyone I feel like an alien from another planet I feel so isolated to the point where I don't want to live anymore everyday I try to find a reason to carry on but I'm now at the point where I literally can't take anymore of being this person I hate myself so much I don't really know why I'm writing this here I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else feels this way