prairieprincess

I have a situation with my sister-in-law that I am kind of stuck on. First of all, I have been really working on getting my home decluttered and organized, and am really starting to get it looking a lot less cluttered and lot more organized. I love it, and so does my husband. That's the good part!

The problem, though, is that my sister-in-law is leaving her husband, and wants to give me her collection of Christian books. She has about 300 books, some of which I know I would like and some not, and feels it is a great honour to give me these books. I agreed to start, but my husband disagreed when I told him. Then, I convinced him that it was okay, but changed my mind! (I know ... it sounds flakey.) I really don't want to have to bring in 300 extra books (that's two shelves worth, at least) in to our home, just when it's getting so decluttered.

I have already told her yes, and then no, and then yes. I feel bad. She believed that she was meant to give them to me, and doesn't want to leave them at her husband's place, and has no other place to give them. I really don't think I have the room to store them properly, and think it will crowd up our office.

I have been worried about this situation, and really don't know what to do. On one hand, I promised to take them. On the other hand, it will crowd up our place, just when I have been working so hard to declutter and be organized.

I would appreciate any insight anyone could offer. Thank you so much.

I have a situation with my sister-in-law that I am kind of stuck on. First of all, I have been really working on getting my home decluttered and organized, and am really starting to get it looking a lot less cluttered and lot more organized. I love it, and so does my husband. That's the good part!

The problem, though, is that my sister-in-law is leaving her husband, and wants to give me her collection of Christian books. She has about 300 books, some of which I know I would like and some not, and feels it is a great honour to give me these books. I agreed to start, but my husband disagreed when I told him. Then, I convinced him that it was okay, but changed my mind! (I know ... it sounds flakey.) I really don't want to have to bring in 300 extra books (that's two shelves worth, at least) in to our home, just when it's getting so decluttered.

I have already told her yes, and then no, and then yes. I feel bad. She believed that she was meant to give them to me, and doesn't want to leave them at her husband's place, and has no other place to give them. I really don't think I have the room to store them properly, and think it will crowd up our office.

I have been worried about this situation, and really don't know what to do. On one hand, I promised to take them. On the other hand, it will crowd up our place, just when I have been working so hard to declutter and be organized.

I would appreciate any insight anyone could offer. Thank you so much.

We have a mobile home for sale that needs some work. We put quite a bit of money into it, but it still needs some fixing up. What I am wondering is, what is the best way to market it, and is it worth it to "stage" it? Right now it is vacant, and not getting many looks.

Thanks!

My husband and I are working with a realtor to sell our home, and have become uncomfortable with some of her behaviour. First of all, she has mentioned several times that we should have a plan "B", in case our place doesn't sell. She has told us several times that if we foreclose, we could lose our present home. (We are presently carrying two mortgages.) This seems to be assuming already that we are not going to sell it, and almost like she is has already given up. It has been on the market for 3 weeks.

When she had a showing, she said that she was doubtful that ours would sell, because another place showed better, even though she had not even been in that other place. She keeps referring to how bad it is, without ever emphasizing anything good about it.

(We have put a lot of money into this place, and are just trying to break even, with the money from the bank at this point) It is an older mobile home, and we cannot afford to spend any money fixing it up anymore.

Is it appropriate to constantly talk to your clients about what happens if it 'doesn't sell?"

Is there a graceful way to talk to her about our concerns? I have tried, and she seems to get very defensive.

I would really appreciate any feedback. ThankS!

I am giving away two of my kittens to their new homes this weekend, and I have a question about the giveaway. I am wondering if I should let the mother cat see then go out the door, so that she realizes they are actually gone (because mother cats usually look for their kittens after they're gone,) or if I should not let her see it, because it might traumatize her too much.

She is very attached to her kittens, and I am so worried about her. The kittens will be ten weeks old this weekend, and I am confident they are going to good homes. I just want to make this experience the easiest I can on the Mom.

I would really appreciate any advice from people who have had experience in this area.

Thanks!

I have a mother cat with three kittens, who are now 8 weeks old. They have the run of the house, and are now able to go up and down the stairs, and to the different rooms. I am getting worried because they are getting really hard to control. A lot of times, they are quiet and play nicely. But other times, especially at night, they just run around crazily, and will not listen to me, or the mom. We also have another female cat in the house, who is about a year old, and also likes to sometimes play.

I know the mother is the one that is training them, but they don't seem to listen to her much anymore. I am worried that people will not want to adopt them, because they seem too wild.

Can someone with experience with kittens give me some advice as to whether or not this is normal behaviour for kittens. Also, what can I do to help make it better? I know how to train one cat at a time, but three at once is pretty difficult. Thank you for your help!

I have been raising my three kittens "underfoot," meaning that they are not confined, and have the run of the house. They hop from room to room, and from upstairs to downstairs. They are very used to people, and other cats (I have another adult cat.)

What I am wondering is for when people come to see the kitties. They are not in a little basket, all together, for them to look at. They are whereever in the house. Do you think this is okay? I just remember whenever I went to look at cats, they were in their little basket or box. My cats are all over. Do you have any suggestions for when someone comes to look at the kittens?

Thanks.

I have a question about the best time to adopt out my kittens, who are now 8 weeks old. I have done some research, and it seems that experts now say that 12 weeks is optimal for adoption; whereas 8 weeks used to be the recommended time. I haven't been able to find a detailed explanation as to how much benefit there is in waiting the 12 weeks, though. I have read that it is better for the kittens to spend more time with Mom being trained, etc.

The reason I ask is that I have three kittens, and I have had some interest in the kittens. I am trying to decide if I should just let people take them, or wait for another 4 weeks. I want what's best for the kittens. Another factor is that the mother is now in heat again, and I need to get her spayed ASAP. I think her "in heat" behaviour might make her less than the best Mom, because she is frequently distracted by her in heat stage.

I would appreciate any advice from people with experience in breeding cats. Thank you very much!

My spayed female cat likes to go into the box with the queen and her new-born kittens (one week old). When I isolate her from the room, she meows in complete and utter distress. She goes in the box and grooms the Mother, and the kittens. I am worried, though, that it will affect the bonding process of Mother and kittens. She snuck in today to the box, and at first it seemed like both really enjoyed it. But then I worry that the mother will start to resent it, and maybe even be less attentive because she feels that the spayed cat is taking care of the kittens.

By the way, my spayed kitty also lost a batch to miscarriage before she was fixed. I am wondering if this is healing something in her to allow to be a mommy.

Any advice or experience in this type of experience? thanks!

I am kind of a quandry with my two female cats. The first (one years old) has just had babies (one week old), and the other (also one years old) just came home from being spayed.

The queen had her babies in our bedroom, and for the first week, we kept the second cat out of the room unless we could closely supervise, because we weren't sure if she would be safe with the kittens. This morning, I let her in, and tried to let the two work it out between themselves. Well, Shiloh, the spayed cat, jumped right into the Mommy's box and starting licking Jo's (the queen's) face and licking the kittens. At first, Jo seemed happy to have the company and the extra grooming, but then it got pretty crowded with three little ones and two adult cats. Next thing you know, Jo is outside the box, leaving Shiloh to lay with her kittens, because it's too crowded. She was not happy and seemed quite distraught.

So, if I lock Shiloh out of the room, she is stressed all the time, because she wants to be part of things, and we hear her meowing through the night (she is used to sleeping in the room with us.) However, if Shiloh comes in, she is crowding Jo. I told my husband I felt that we were in the middle of a feline soap opera.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had experience with two female cats like this, with one a queen. I am wondering if it will be good for the kittens to have the two caregivers, or confusing. And whether or not the mother will eventually appreciate the help with the kittens, or if she is at risk of abandoning her kittens because she will smell the other cat on them.

Signed,

Tired Cat Owner

How to monitor son's tv watching/games?

I am just wondering how you as parents feel about monitoring your teenagers' viewing and gaming habits. I believe that too much exposure to sex and violence has a negative effect. How are other parents dealing with this issue? For me, the son is not mine biologically, and his Dad tends to be less strict than I would be. I would love to hear how other parents handle this issue.

My husband and I recently (four monthes ago) moved out of our mobile home, and moved into a house. We have not sold the trailer yet, because we wanted to fix it up some in order to get a price for it. We dealt with a realtor couple for the sale, and have had the understanding that they would look at the trailer when it is ready and sell it for us.

We liked their work, and had no complaints. We have had a couple of people approach us and ask about selling it privately. I am just wondering if that would be considered bad form because we have already been dealing with these realtors, and said that they would be our realtors for the deal.

I know that legally they can't force us to go with them, because there was nothing signed. But I am just wondering if it is in bad taste. Also, if we could go with the realtor if the private deals don't work out. I'd love to hear from anyone with experience in this area. Thanks!

I went to the Humane Society because my cat took off, and I was worried about her. They advertise that it's a good idea to go there, in case someone has picked her up. I went and volunteered all of my info about my cat, and they said to keep calling to see if she was picked up.

A couple of days later, I get a notice in the mail from them, with a warning ticket from the city bylaws saying that we were in violation of city laws for not leashing our cat up, and for not spaying a cat over six months.

I felt betrayed by them because they are a private charity and they are reporting people as if they are the police. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

The city bylaw says that we have to leash our cats. We just moved from the country and am finding it hard to deal with these city laws regarding the cats. The city bylaw says that cats must be either inside or on a leash. My cats love to go outside but on a leash, she sometimes gets tangled up. I think this law is extreme. Has anyone else had this dilemma? What did you do?

I have read all of the research about how spaying does not change the personality of the cat, but I think some of it's propaganda, to be honest. I am still feeling bad about spaying my cat because I am afraid that she will feel like a different kitty. Spaying is a nice word for hysterectomy, and that is a very severe operation. Spaying takes out all of the female organs; it doesn't just tie the tubes.

Please, I love this cat so much, and I know that being in heat is very hard on her. I just wish there was another way to go. She has such a wonderful cat personality ... adventurous and playful. I find it so hard that spaying is necessary. Can anyone give me their advice?

I now have two cats in the household. We just added a new cat (about 8 months old) to keep the other one company (also about 8 months.)

Well, the first one's poop never smelled, at all. Now, the second one's does, and I am trying to figure out why. I feed them good quality pet food, but my husband gave out a bit of the cheap stuff, because he didn't know. This is her third day here, and I am wondering if she might be just getting some bad stuff out of her from her last home.

Any ideas?

During another one of our never-ending battles, my husband said that a person should not have to negotiate during marriage. We had been talking, and he "asked" me to go get some coffee from the coffee shop. I hesitated, and said I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. He immediately turned away, and became silent.

He was angry, or hurt, that I didn't go as soon as he asked. We had been fighting all week, and he has put me down in every way possible, with verbal abuse. It kind of bugged me that he was now asking me for a favour, instead of doing something to me, to show that he was sorry. He is asking me for a favour, but he is the one who has been giving me so many putdowns.

He just got up and ended the conversation, and said he "didn't care." He thought I was totally unreasonable to hesitate about the coffee. I told him that marriage is about negotiation, and that when you ask someone for a favour, you ask nicely -- you don't demand it.

He said that it was ridiculous to have negotiate about a coffee. I disagree ... I think negotiating shows that you value that the person is doing something for you ... you don't just expect it.

Hi! I would like to ask any ESL teachers out there ... do you find it stressful? Why or why not? I am referring to ESL teaching in an English speaking country ... not overseas.

I am thinking of making a switch from H.S. English into teaching ESL to adults. Thanks!

My husband and I are fighting a lot.

Whenever we fight, he says very nasty things about me. This happens at least once every two weeks, sometimes more often. He used to be a fighter, a brawler, a long time ago, and I see this instinct in him with me. He goes for the blood.

This morning, he made a comment about his ex-girlfriend bringing him coffee, while we were fighting ... this was extremely nasty. He also told me this morning that I am going to work to be all fake. He constantly complains about the house being too messy, but we are both working fulltime, with very busy, stressful lives. We both do what we can ... but he gets so nasty, as if it's all just my job. He's very sarcastic and puts me down when we have fights. I find this is having a very bad effect on me, and affecting my confidence. The counsellors we have talked to seem to think that we are just having normal marriage problems but to me, the nastiness is abusive.

I don't take it from him, and get very loud back. But I don't start it with him.

I am at my wit's end and wonder constantly if we should divorce. He has two kids and it would be very hard for them to experience another divorce. They stay with us part time.

Of course, you can't solve your marriage problems with one question on YA. But I was wondering if anyone had any insight. Thanks!

I am trying to think of a couple of movies to show my class during the Christmas Season. I do questions with the movies, and make them assignments. I want something that's fairly modern, with some funny moments, but that is meaningful, too.

I've got a fairly tough crowd; so I want it to be something that will grab their attention. (Grades 9-12, at-risk students.)

Just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions for me. Thanks!