Bill

would you assume that i probably don't care about myself? or what are some things that may enter your mind when seeing someone that smokes?

thanks in advance

seriously... never had a facebook, no tweets, instagram seems pretty cool but never done it. would i be hurting myself by not having "outlets" such as these?

i never got into facebook because of the definition of "friends." twitter, i can't imagine why anyone would care what i have to say. instagram, sure everyone enjoys photos, but it all seems like a popularity contest... if you don't have over 40 likes, then maybe you're a nobody (crap like that). it also bugs me to be sitting around with a group of friends/acquaintances and everyone is checking their phones every 5 minutes for updates.

i guess what got me wanting to ask this, was i saw a picture online that said something like... "you're gonna send me a picture? i'm on facebook, twitter, and instagram... wtf?" as if to say sending someone a picture text is outdated, when you can just share it through "better" avenues.

so in your opinion, do i need to get out of the dark ages and join these things? wasn't my life fine/good enough prior to all these crazes?

that's all. is your partner making the same effort for you that you are making for them? more, less?

hi all

recently i was done wrong. someone that i chose to get to know, and go out of my way for to help, turned their back on me when it became convenient for them to do so. it was pretty shocking and left me with some hurt and confusion. me, being a sensitive and insecure person at times, considered acting revenge on this person. i believed it would have been easy, and the punishment would have fit the crime (details are insignificant, it would have been an eye for an eye situation). after much contemplation and wasted energy, i guess i've decided to chill out and just cut that person a break. it's not worth it.

here's the funny part. i consider myself a good human being, but have definitely made some poor choices in the past. well, if you really look at it, the same thing that was done to me, i did to someone else, roughly 8 years ago. i turned my back on someone, that was nothing but good to me. that past incident, has really shaped me and i believe/hope that that one incident was enough to convince me to change my ways and how it's not cool to play with other people's feelings. i definitely felt guilt and shame, and understand that my actions truly hurt that other person. and wouldn't you know it, now i know exactly how they felt. exactly.

well that's my backstory, now time for my actual question.... this is something that i've thought about, and want your opinions. i truly believe what just happened with me, is in direct causation with what i chose to do that one time in my past. hence Karma. but, now that this latest incident has occurred, will the person that turned their back on me have to deal with Karma coming back to get them? will the same thing happen to them, that they chose to do to me? essentially a "passing the baton" of Karma? or do you believe that no, that's not what it's all about, that they just came into my life to show me how it felt for the time that i did wrong? that they are pretty much free and clear.

so yes and why the Karma will be with them...

or no and why the Karma will not be with them.

+ i know i use the word Karma and that word can be interpreted subjectively, but i'm also trying to say the same thing as "what goes around comes around" or "you reap what you sow." it's just the one higher power that i believe in, that we all will reap what we sow, so it's better to try to do good.

thanks in advance

hi all

recently i was done wrong. someone that i chose to get to know, and go out of my way for to help, turned their back on me when it became convenient for them to do so. it was pretty shocking and left me with some hurt and confusion. me, being a sensitive and insecure person at times, considered acting revenge on this person. i believed it would have been easy, and the punishment would have fit the crime (details are insignificant, it would have been an eye for an eye situation). after much contemplation and wasted energy, i guess i've decided to chill out and just cut that person a break. it's not worth it.

here's the funny part. i consider myself a good human being, but have definitely made some poor choices in the past. well, if you really look at it, the same thing that was done to me, i did to someone else, roughly 8 years ago. i turned my back on someone, that was nothing but good to me. that past incident, has really shaped me and i believe/hope that that one incident was enough to convince me to change my ways and how it's not cool to play with other people's feelings. i definitely felt guilt and shame, and understand that my actions truly hurt that other person. and wouldn't you know it, now i know exactly how they felt. exactly.

well that's my backstory, now time for my actual question.... this is something that i've thought about, and want your opinions. i truly believe what just happened with me, is in direct causation with what i chose to do that one time in my past. hence Karma. but, now that this latest incident has occurred, will the person that turned their back on me have to deal with Karma coming back to get them? will the same thing happen to them, that they chose to do to me? essentially a "passing the baton" of Karma? or do you believe that no, that's not what it's all about, that they just came into my life to show me how it felt for the time that i did wrong? that they are pretty much free and clear.

so yes and why the Karma will be with them...

or no and why the Karma will not be with them.

+ i know i use the word Karma and that word can be interpreted subjectively, but i'm also trying to say the same thing as "what goes around comes around" or "you reap what you sow." it's just the one higher power that i believe in, that we all will reap what we sow, so it's better to try to do good.

thanks in advance

i've noticed over the past few years, that i feel achy when having a few beers. i usually drink cheap beer, PBR or Bud Light, and i just don't like the way i feel internally when drinking. my symptoms are all internal, and i feel inflamed in my bones and joints. just achy. a mild, dull, ache.

fortunately, i'm not a big drinker. i have my moments, but for example, i've probably only drank enough to get drunk just 3 times in the past 8 or 9 months. i will socially drink just 1 to 4 beers a few times a month, but lately it just does not seem like a good idea, solely due to the aches i've been experiencing.

so does this sound like an allergy or something? should i switch over to a truer beer, like an IPA or Sam Adams? or... as crazy as this sounds, just stop imbibing altogether?

thanks for your help

i've noticed over the past few years, that i feel achy when having a few beers. i usually drink cheap beer, PBR or Bud Light, and i just don't like the way i feel internally when drinking. my symptoms are all internal, and i feel inflamed in my bones and joints. just achy. a mild, dull, ache.

fortunately, i'm not a big drinker. i have my moments, but for example, i've probably only drank enough to get drunk just 3 times in the past 8 or 9 months. i will socially drink just 1 to 4 beers a few times a month, but lately it just does not seem like a good idea, solely due to the aches i've been experiencing.

so does this sound like an allergy or something? should i switch over to a truer beer, like an IPA or Sam Adams? or... as crazy as this sounds, just stop imbibing altogether?

thanks for your help

i'd appreciate as many opinions as possible.

is gut instinct just something that humans have evolved with over thousands of years? how often do you go with your gut in situations about life? has your gut instinct ever gotten you in trouble (meaning you shouldn't have trusted it)? do you feel that sometimes we project things we want to be the truth, in doing so confusing that with our gut instincts?

the reason i'm interested is that i just went through something a while back where i went with my gut on a situation dealing with a friend. but the thing was, this person was not acting like a friend at all. in fact, quite the opposite. i felt something wasn't right, so i went with my gut... in the process overreacting and pretty much killing the friendship. but the thing was... what friendship? this person deceived me and continued to do so right up until the end. to me, my gut was right... yet due to their deception i still actually feel confused.

that was a little bit of a rant. please feel free to provide some rants/insight of your own. anything you want to add is fine with me. thanks

i'd appreciate as many opinions as possible.

is gut instinct just something that humans have evolved with over thousands of years? how often do you go with your gut in situations about life? has your gut instinct ever gotten you in trouble (meaning you shouldn't have trusted it)? do you feel that sometimes we project things we want to be the truth, in doing so confusing that with our gut instincts?

the reason i'm interested is that i just went through something a while back where i went with my gut on a situation dealing with a friend. but the thing was, this person was not acting like a friend at all. in fact, quite the opposite. i felt something wasn't right, so i went with my gut... in the process overreacting and pretty much killing the friendship. but the thing was... what friendship? this person deceived me and continued to do so right up until the end. to me, my gut was right... yet due to their deception i still actually feel confused.

that was a little bit of a rant. please feel free to provide some rants/insight of your own. anything you want to add is fine with me. thanks

april fools

i seem to be the "king" of failed relationships. i've had many fall apart for reasons that felt out of my control. so maybe what i'm asking is, should i just set out to have short term flings with people? i know about myself that i'm usually looking for a relationship, and when that can't happen/falls apart, i usually get a little more hurt than i really need to be. i'm sensitive, but that's my issue.

i actually crave female companionship. i do want that, but i'm often hesitant to really go after it. i tend to wait and only go after women that i just kind of see qualities in that i'm attracted to (emotional qualities/who i perceive them to be). since i'm the one looking for a relationship, and that rarely seems to work out, should i just try to enjoy the moment for what it is and just look at it like a fling? not get attached to quickly?

i am guilty of being a "nice guy". i'm sure i've killed a few relationships due to my "niceing" everyone to death. so i am consciously trying to work on that. i seem to be what lots of females want for the short term, but never for the long term. so if i just change my mindset, do you think it will help me in the long run?

what about you? ever had to go through something like what i am describing? this question is for males and females, so feel free to leave your opinions. thanks

met a female. female had boyfriend. female told me multiple times (15ish) about how "she didn't love him anymore, but didn't want to break up yet due to hurting his feelings".

knew it was a bad idea but i got emotionally close to said female. i rejected all of her physical advancements towards me (usually when she had been drinking), however did spend a few nights together in the same bed with clothes on... just cuddling no kissing on the mouth. she was pretty good at playing "hot and cold" with me. it would be her idea to try and hook up, and then the next morning say what a bad idea it was.

well low and behold her boyfriend sees her putting pictures up on facebook of me and her. i don't have facebook, so i didn't know any of this. boyfriend breaks up with her. what does she do? she gets heartbroken and fights to get boyfriend back for 6 weeks; they are now together again. only thing is, boyfriend doesn't really know the truth about anything that happened. while i allowed myself to be weak, i did my best at the time to just be friends. i built a relationship with her based on love and trust... she came to me for many things, and each time my actions matched my words and i helped her with anything that she needed (i mean anything, if you only knew).

well long story short, we don't speak anymore. that was her decision, although i had to find out about it through "hints". i felt very used. felt taken advantage of. felt very hurt. not the first time i've been hurt by a female, but in this case i just did not see it coming.

i waited until the night before her birthday, and sent her an email. told her that if i really wanted i could create a facebook and contact her boyfriend and let him know what she was really up to during her stay. well wouldn't you know she responded right away and basically begged me not to. my intentions were to at the least scare her, and at the most possibly take full on revenge. i've sense deleted her out of my life.

do you have any positive reinforcements for me? i've put up with a lot of crap from females in the past, so i really believe this situation was all that angst coming out at once. i snapped for a few days. i was hurt.

thanks

met a female. female had boyfriend. female told me multiple times (15ish) about how "she didn't love him anymore, but didn't want to break up yet due to hurting his feelings".

knew it was a bad idea but i got emotionally close to said female. i rejected all of her physical advancements towards me (usually when she had been drinking), however did spend a few nights together in the same bed with clothes on... just cuddling no kissing on the mouth. she was pretty good at playing "hot and cold" with me. it would be her idea to try and hook up, and then the next morning say what a bad idea it was.

well low and behold her boyfriend sees her putting pictures up on facebook of me and her. i don't have facebook, so i didn't know any of this. boyfriend breaks up with her. what does she do? she gets heartbroken and fights to get boyfriend back for 6 weeks; they are now together again. only thing is, boyfriend doesn't really know the truth about anything that happened. while i allowed myself to be weak, i did my best at the time to just be friends. i built a relationship with her based on love and trust... she came to me for many things, and each time my actions matched my words and i helped her with anything that she needed (i mean anything, if you only knew).

well long story short, we don't speak anymore. that was her decision, although i had to find out about it through "hints". i felt very used. felt taken advantage of. felt very hurt. not the first time i've been hurt by a female, but in this case i just did not see it coming.

i waited until the night before her birthday, and sent her an email. told her that if i really wanted i could create a facebook and contact her boyfriend and let him know what she was really up to during her stay. well wouldn't you know she responded right away and basically begged me not to. my intentions were to at the least scare her, and at the most possibly take full on revenge. i've sense deleted her out of my life.

do you have any positive reinforcements for me? i've put up with a lot of crap from females in the past, so i really believe this situation was all that angst coming out at once. i snapped for a few days. i was hurt.

thanks

by your parents when you were a child? i'm just trying to get a better understanding about some females that believe the world revolves around them. or the type that don't take other people's feelings into consideration, only their own. you know the type i'm talking about. i just wonder if their parents tried to instill in them that they were a little "princess" when they were young and the girl grew up believing that she is owed something from the world around her just because "she" is special. does that make sense? that the parents had good intentions, but things just grew out of control after a period of time.

so can anyone ever remember being told they were a princess when they were little?

hi all... i don't like the way i feel right now. i'm upset and i'm hiding it. but the way i feel is nothing new. it happens every year, for the past 5 years or so... i'm alone, a lot. too much. i've always held my true friends in high regard (as close as family), but it's been a long time since that feeling has been reciprocated.

i've tried a little experiment for the past 3 months, it goes like this... i've basically dropped off the face of the earth, no phone calls, no visits, no nothing. i behaved this way in order to see who would contact me. out of the 10 true friends i've got, only 3 have taken the time to call me (i realize 10 is a huge number of friends, considering lots of people are fortunate enough to have just 1). so the 3 that have continued on with me, i continue on with them. we hang out, call, talk, visit... all the things friends do. the other 7, nothing.

i've become a mirror. whatever my friends do, i'll do too. they call, i'll call. they visit, i'll visit. they invite me to do things, i'll invite them to do things. when i started this "experiment", there had already been an empty feeling i was experiencing. i noticed that in the past, i've had to be the one to contact my friends first, pretty much across the board. so, i've wanted to see what would happen if i wasn't the one to take charge. i don't like what i see. so this is my new reality?

one friend in particular (one of the 7) always says "you're like a brother, i wish you came around more." well, i would come around more, if i was invited, or felt wanted. i'm tired of having to initiate contact, and practically invite myself to a lot of things our group does together. and in this time, i've learned that many of my friends still interact with one another, take trips together and socialize regularly... just not with me.

i'm 32, have a spectrum of friends from the ages of early 20's up to about early 60's. less than half are married, or have children. some have businesses they run, and all but 2 are employed full-time. so i get that they have things going on. i do too. but that's never stopped me from wanting to get together... until now.

do you think i should bring this up to them? i'm kind of hurt right now emotionally and so part of me wants to just "break up" with them. throw away these things that mean so much to me, and have taken in most cases, 10 to 20 years to build. i'm only saying that last sentence, because i'm hurt right now, that's not what i really want. but, is this my new reality that i have not accepted yet (i'm not good with change, the way i would like to be) and i'm just fighting a losing battle?

i know that was long, just had to get it off my chest. please, all thoughts and opinions are welcome. thank you for taking the time to read

read about it this morning... the state of Maharashtra is allowing forest rangers ( and i assume anyone) to kill tiger poachers on site. that fills me with joy! now if we could get South Africa to cut the nose off the face of anyone going after Rhinos, or Japan to harpoon in the back any of their "researchers" who go after humpbacks... the world would be just a little bit better of a place. anyways, this isn't really a question, but feel free to leave opinions and thoughts... thanks

in my opinion he's a BEAST of a player, phenomenal talent and gusto. still a top 5 talent in the EPL, considering he had a bit of a down year. basically my favorite international player to watch. so... where will he go? i'm uninformed at the moment and have heard zero rumors. i could see him heading to La Liga, just not with RM or Barca, but more like an Atletico or Villa. could he be headed to play for one of the oligarchs of Russia? go for the money? he is a rock star after all.... so thanks in advance for opinions and thoughts!!

i generally pride myself on living a very drama free life. i would believe my reputation around town to be that i'm a good guy, mellow and treat people well. i'm not trying to make you think i'm perfect, but i do live a pretty clean, honest lifestyle. so with all of that being said, it would it be alright for me to purposely stray from the course one good time and see if i can hurt this girl's feelings? you know, be a dlckhead. this girl lied to me, and basically her actions and her words did not match up. so would it be fair to let her see my actions and words not line up either? treat her as she treats me? what do you all think? thanks in advance

the reason i ask, is that i generally pride myself on living a drama free life. i believe my reputation around town is that i'm a good guy, mellow and no one ever hears of me doing petty things or being a d*ckhead towards others... i'm basically kind to all. i'm not trying to make you think i'm perfect, but i do live a very drama free life, that's just the truth. so with all of that being said, would it be alright if i felt like being a d*ckhead one good time? i know someone that i'd like to f*ck with, basically see if i can hurt their feelings. but i'm waffling back and forth as to whether it would be worth it. i know 10 years from now i could look back at this time and say to myself "i'm glad i took the high road, and didn't try to hurt that little girl's feelings." but still, i just think it would be fairly appropriate to take the low road this one time, just to see what happens. so what do you say? how have you all handled similar situations in your lives?

honestly, just about 100% of the male friends i have that are married, pull me off to the side sometimes when we're hanging out and say things like "man, don't ever do what i've done... don't get married." i'm being serious. almost all of them say that to me. about how they have to listen to their wives all day long, if the wife's in a good mood usually everything's fine. but the times ( and it's pretty frequently) that she's not in a good mood, there's almost always hell to pay. i could go on and on, but i'll stop here. so what i'm asking is, guys who aren't married, do you hear the same things i am hearing from your married friends? and girls, when you girls get together and have girl time, do y'all talk about these same issues? thanks in advance