Danielle R

We have 3 kids (7, 5, and 2). Some nights my husband isn't home at bedtime because of work, or things having to do with the volunteer fire department. and some nights he is here. when he's not home, bedtime goes very smoothly and all kids are sleeping by 9:15pm. when he is home, all heck breaks loose! there is whining and crying and before i know it, it's 10pm and i'm exhausted and didn't get to spend any alone time with my husband before my own bedtime! the past few nights that he's been home, i've sent him downstairs to the basement to "hide" while i put the kids to bed so they think he's not home. (the oldest is not "fooled" but the little ones are mostly the problem). Even tonight, I sent him downstairs, and got everyone to bed and all is quiet. I just sent him a text saying it was "clear" to come back up. isn't this ridiculous? what can i do? it would be nice if we could work together to get the kids all ready for bed!

so, the long story short is that my husband of 5 years has never been faithful for me a day of our marriage. he's gotten caught in full blown affairs, one night stands, and most recently, posting naked pictures of himself on an internet "swinging" sight. i am a stay at home mom to our 3 young children. i babysit for a couple of friends in my home during the day just for a little under the table cash, but i'm not registered and dont have taxable or real income, i make about $200 a week on a good week. my husband is home right now on unemployment because the place he worked closed down. if i wanted to, could i file for divorce from him and force him out of the house? my name is not on the house as we bought it together before we were married and put it in his name. could they force him out of the house and leave me here with the kids? could they force him to pay for the house? thanks for your help and advice. if there's no way to get him out then i'll continue living here and raising my children happily and wait it out until they are older and i can work full time and pay for this house on my own.

We're leaving tomorrow for Sesame Place in Pennsylvania. Our kids are 6, 4 and 1. Any tips of suggestions? What rides are good for their ages? Any helpful advice for bringing a baby there? We tried to get a gramma to come along to drive the stroller around but had no luck, so it's just us, 2 grown ups and 3 kids. Thanks!

i've never used a real babysitter before, we've always used family. so now that i just hired this girl i realized i don't know how much to pay her! it will be my 2 youngest kids, ages 4 and 11 months from about 6pm until midnight. we're picking her up and dropping her off. my kids go to bed about 8/8:30.

what's the going rate??

my Dr's office said i tested positive for ureaplasma. when i asked her to explain all she said was that it was a bacterial infection not an std and my husband and i would need to abstain for 6 weeks while we both took antibiotics, and then be retested in 6 weeks. i need more of an explaination and can't seem to find one anywhere. How did I get this? How is it transmitted? Is it only through sexual contact? or can you get it by someone sneezing on you? thanks for your help!

I'm putting this question out to the yahoo answers community hoping for a non judgmental opinion and some advice. you'll see why i can't go to friends and family for this one. my husband and i got married at age 21 (2005), i had an 18 month old daughter from a previous relationship. when our second child was celebrating her first birthday (2007) i caught my husband in a serious affair with a coworker. when i say serious, i mean he was saying he was going out of town for work and was actually living in her apartment. when the truth came out, i confronted him with a packed bag and said, make a choice, her or me and the family. he chose to come home and work it out. i took on the attitude that for him to cheat, something must have been missing from our relationship and together, (so i thought) we were working hard to rebuild our marriage. when things seemed to be better than ever, we had our third child in 2009. since the birth of our third child, several unforgivable things have happened. including, i found naked pictures of my husband on the computer on 2 occasions, and even a profile on a sexual social networking site. his excuse the first time was that it was from a long time ago, which i knew was a lie because of the shower curtain in the background of the pictures. his lie the second time was that he took the picture to email to me, which was disproved because he never emailed it to me, and secondly, i would never like that kind of thing it does not interest me at all. and just the other day my husband ran out to the store and left his phone sitting on the table. something in my gut told me to look at it so i did and there was some kind of texting/ or instant messaging conversation going on where a girl named beth said something like "slap me" and he wrote back "with my dick lol". he raced back home to retrieve his phone and would not give it back to me even when i said give me the phone and let me read the conversation if you have nothing to hide, or else pack your bag and get out. he swears he was not cheating on me but i feel this is cheating. and it makes me feel disgusted and not forgive him for his previous affair. my question for all of you is what do i do? i don't forgive him, i'm disgusted when i look at him, but i just want to give my 3 children the best possible life. i do not work, i stay home with my kids. i babysit for my friend's kids in my house and i make about $200 a week. i could not afford to live in our home without my husband. and i dont want my kids to grow up in a broken home either. i feel trapped and unhappy. but can't help but feel like it's not really about my happiness right now, it's about my kids. i feel like maybe i will wait until my youngest is in school and then i can work like 9am-3pm and hopefully make enough money for my husband to move out and me to support the household. and i do feel that he and i could successfully co-parent in that way, when the kids are a bit older. i'm just trying to build happy childhood memories for my kids. my husband swears that he loves only me and he doesnt know why he has disrespected me this way and he wants to stay together. i do not believe him but think i am willing to stay a team for a while for the sake of raising the kids. i'd love to hear advice from men or women, preferably with kids. thanks.

i posted this in grade schooler but decided to post it again hoping for answers!!

my oldest daughter is 6 years old, her birthday was in december. and i'm starting to feel like her potty training never "stuck". i trained her when she was 2 1/2 or 3 just like everyone else. but it seems like for the past 3 years since then she will have on and off for like a month long stretches. for a month or so she'll be like an average child, no accidents, not even bed wetting, perfectly fine. then for a month or so she'll be like a toddler, changing her underwear twice a day. today she was going into the playroom to play and i casually said, "if you have to go potty please go" because she looked a little funny. but she said she was fine. 15 minutes later she went running in the bathroom and pulled down her pants and a huge poop fell on the floor, she had pooped her pants! is this normal? does this happen to other 6 year olds? i have asked friends and no one else seems to be having this problem! it's been going on now since she was like 3, on and off. sometimes she's perfectly fine, sometimes not. i've tried everything, rewarding her for doing well, punishing her when she doesnt do the right thing. i'm at the end of my rope. please help!!!

my oldest daughter is 6 years old, her birthday was in december. and i'm starting to feel like her potty training never "stuck". i trained her when she was 2 1/2 or 3 just like everyone else. but it seems like for the past 3 years since then she will have on and off for like a month long stretches. for a month or so she'll be like an average child, no accidents, not even bed wetting, perfectly fine. then for a month or so she'll be like a toddler, changing her underwear twice a day. today she was going into the playroom to play and i casually said, "if you have to go potty please go" because she looked a little funny. but she said she was fine. 15 minutes later she went running in the bathroom and pulled down her pants and a huge poop fell on the floor, she had pooped her pants! is this normal? does this happen to other 6 year olds? i have asked friends and no one else seems to be having this problem! it's been going on now since she was like 3, on and off. sometimes she's perfectly fine, sometimes not. i've tried everything, rewarding her for doing well, punishing her when she doesnt do the right thing. i'm at the end of my rope. please help!!!

for christmas, my husband finished off a 12x12 room in our basement for our kids to have a playroom. we live in a 3 bedroom ranch and we have 3 kids. our two daughters ages 6 and 3 1/2 share a bedroom and their baby brother (6months) has the 3rd room. so we were so excited to give the girls this playroom. my husband is pretty handy so he did all of the work himself, the room is fully insulated, nicely carpeted, heated and has electricity. and grandpa even gave the girls a beautiful flat screen tv for xmas so it has everything they want. i'm fully comfortable sending the girls down to their playroom to play while i'm around the house feeding the baby, doing laundry or whatever. i even installed a baby monitor so that when i'm not downstairs with them i can hear everything they're doing. i'm fully comfortbale with their safety. there's nothing they could get hurt on, and they're mature 3 and 6 year olds so i dont have to worry that they will put a toy in their mouth and choke or anything like that. HOWEVER, i've been helping out my (sort of) friend now for about 2 years, watching her daughters once a week for like 5 hours. (she pays me for the time) her kids are the same ages as my girls. and she's having a major freak out about our new playroom. she's freaking out accusing me of not supervising the kids and saying anyone could just walk in and take them. which, of course is crazy. and i explained that it's the same as if she let her kids go upstairs to their bedroom to play while she was downstairs in the kitchen. there's just one level separating her from the kids. and at my house it's even safer because i'm listening on the baby monitor. i reassured her that it's not like i'm "locking the kids in the basement" or anything crazy, just if they want to play toys, barbies, building blocks, and doll houses are now downstairs instead of their bedroom. it's no big deal. my question for you all is : do you agree with me? do you think it's safe? or do people actually sit and stare at their kids for 5 hours while they play doll house?

don't get me wrong, i love to sit and do arts and crafts with my kids, and play games with them, and take them outside (i go outside with them) but i feel confident that they will be safe in their playroom while i'm putting away laundry and feeding my baby.

my 5 week old baby boy is feb pumped breast milk. he has (6) 5 oz bottles during the day and (1) 4 oz bottle in the middle of the night. this seems like a lot of milk to me but he seems pretty content all day long and he rarely spits up. the problem is after his first feeding of the morning (7:30am) he is fussy the whole morning until 10am his next feeding. the only way he stops crying is when i hold him, which i can't do for the whole time (even though i would love to!!) because i have 2 older children (ages 3 and 5). yesterday morning i tried giving him 6 oz at that 7:30am feeding because i thought maybe his fussing was because he just wasn't satisfied, but he spit up quite a bit so i figured that 6 oz was too much. what's your opinion/advice for this cranky period in the morning? thanks!!

ps. the reason why i use the bottle to feed him expressed breast milk is because with my other children running around, i just can't be sitting on the couch for an hour while i'm nursing the baby, it takes 10 minutes for me to express the milk and then about 15 or so for me to feed him the bottle. it's just more efficient. i do nurse him sometimes before bed though, after my other children have gone to bed.

i'm sure we all know someone who claims to have gone on a bumpy car ride at 37 weeks and it put them into labor. i'm looking to make a list of all the things that supposedly help you induce labor at home. nothing dangerous, but my dr. says the baby is full term at 37 weeks and this is #3 for me and i'm SO ready to be done with this pregnancy. i'm so uncomfortable, my back hurts all the time and i'm just ready to be done. i'll start trying anything! tell me your stories!

i will be 36 weeks on saturday. starting yesterday morning(ish) i've had pain in my lower back that comes and goes. it feels just like i typically feel the day i get my period. no pain in my belly though. i did have pain like this when i was in labor for one of my daughters. (i'm sure it sounds silly that this is my 3rd baby nd i have to ask if i'm in labor). but for my first i was induced early (high blood pressure) and for my second i was sent to the hospital to be induced early (she was so big and fluid was getting low) and i went into labor in the hospital before they could induce me.

so anyways, could i be contracting and having back labor even though i'm not quite 36 weeks yet? is this too soon for my baby? should i try to get in to see my doctor to find out? or should i wait to see if the pain intensifies before i do anything? thanks everyone!!

I was at the doctor on Monday and I was 30 weeks pregnant (i'll be 31 weeks on sunday) he gave me a quick sonogram to see how everything looked and he showed me that the baby is already in the head down position and ready to go. all week long i have mentioned this to people and they say, oh he's coming a little early then. is that true? my oldest baby was 2 1/2 weeks early, and my second baby was 1 week early. what do you think? should i expect this baby to make his appearance a little early too? is the head being down at 30 weeks common? thanks!

We have 2 little girls named Elizabeth Annette (after my grandmother and great grandmother) and Antanina Kristine (after my grandmother and my sister in law)

We're due for a baby boy in July and trying to settle on a name. I'd like to use a family name for him, since I've done that for my daughters. And, my girls both have nicknames, "Libby" and "Nina", so I like the idea of a name with a nickname.

Here's what I've got :

Charles Patrick

Charles Pasquale (Pasquale was my dad's name)

"Charlie"

Archer James (James was my grandfather)

Archer John (John is my father in law)

"Archie"

Asher James

Asher John

my 5 year old daughter is making me nuts about getting dressed every day! when she was about 3 1/2 she decided that she was a pretty princess and she wanted to wear a dress or a skirt every day. my parenting style is "choose your battles" so i said, okay, we'll make a deal. she can wear a dress or skirt every day that she has school or something special, but on a saturday if we arent even leaving the house, or a sunday if we're going to be outside playing all day, she wears her pants. the deal was working out very well for a while.

every morning i lay out 2 or 3 choices on her bed that are weather appropriate and appropriate for what kind of day it is. she picks one and gets dressed.

well today in central NY it's going to be 65 and sunny and it's a school day so i layed out 2 different short sleeved dresses that have leggings that go with them, and one short sleeved top and bermuda shorts. she had a 30 minute long tantrum that she wanted to wear the one dress with no leggings, she wanted to wear just tights or socks. it's way too warm for tights, and the dress is way too short for nothing underneath it. i told her if she didnt like that, she could have an extra 5 minutes to choose one of the other options on her bed. she flipped out!

i thought i was doing everything right here but somehow i still didnt manage to avoid today's tantrum.

any advice? does anyone else have a little fashionista like mine? what works for you?

** mommy to Libby (5), Nina (3) and expecting #3 in July

my husband burned his finger bad last thursday and it still looks really bad. it's blistered up, a few days ago he made a hole in the blister and drained it but it filled back up again. the blister looks white but he says the liquid he drained was clear. he has been keeping it clean, and using neosporin, covering it with a bandaid while he's at work and letting the air get to it while he's at home. what should he do to make this go away?

i'm 24 weeks pregnant with baby #3. for the past few weeks i've been feeling a little disconnected with my husband and i'm wondering how i can get back to feeling close again.

it's hard for me because i'm so tired all the time. the past week my husband and i don't even kiss eachother because me and the kids have the flu (i know! i have the flu and i'm pregnant! yes it's awful!) and he doesn't want to get it. he's trying to save all of his personal time from work for when the baby is born.

obviously we can't be having sex or anything tonight, and i can't barely get him to hug me, so how do i close this gap i'm feeling between us? what can i do tonight when he gets home to make us feel a little closer?

please keep in mind that we have a really good marriage, but right now i'm very pregnant and emotional and i'm sleep deprived from having the flu and caring for 2 kids who have the flu.

any suggestions?

i'm 20 weeks pregnant with baby #3 and for the past 5 hours or so i've had increasingly severe pain in my lower right abdomen, close to my hip bone. i've never had pain like this before, it started out feeling like a cramp that you would get from running, and it never went away. i didnt do anything out of the ordinary today ... what could this be? i'm seeing my OB tomorrow for a check up, but should i be concerned before tomorrow afternoon? my husband just laughed and said i probably pulled a muscle or something but could this be appendicitis or something with the baby? i don't have a fever i dont think .... thanks for your advice!

I babysit for a little boy who is 18, almost 19 months old. his mother and i are good friends. he walks, runs and climbs just fine. but he does not say anything. he makes plenty of noises, babbles and such, but not a single word. he has said mama at home, and sometimes he says it at my house, but that's it. his parents asked me my opinion if it seemed like he was a little behind and i just skated the question - i said i thought boys sometimes took a little longer than girls (i have 2 daughters) and that they should ask their dr.

i'm wondering if he actually might have a problem .... he was a difficult baby, very fussy, and even now he sometimes cries for 20-30 minutes for no apparent reason. i try everything to calm him down and eventually something works. but i'm looking back now in my daughter's baby books and my youngest was saying all kinds of words at 17 months. i wrote that she could say, "ut oh, i got it, i did it, here you go, thanks, mama, dada, yay, hi, all gone, apple, i love you too, tada, cheese, cup, ow, a baby, a ball, and a hat."

does it sound like this little boy has some kind of problem? i dont think it's with his hearing because he turns his head when i call out his name. but when i ask him "do you want to go outside?" or "do you want some milk?" i just get a blank stare.

what do you think?

i work at my job 10 hours a week and i'm 16 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. i'm going to see my doctor tomorrow and i think he's going to suggest that i stop working because this is a very difficult pregnancy, and my job is a physical job. in my previous pregnancies he has written out whatever paperwork was needed and i was able to get a disability check for the time i was out of work during maternity leave. but i have never stopped working this early before, and also, i used to work much more than 10 hours per week. will i be able to get disability at all? and then if i get it and then let's say i decide when it's time to go back to work that i don't want to go back to work, will something happen to me if i quit? will they take back the money or something? this is stressful! and i'm not supposed to have stress!

thanks for your help!!