gr_gal1993

This is a philosophical question more than anything else.

My fiance and I are in our mid-30s and marrying for the first time. Over the years that we've been dating, I've attend a number of bridal showers and weddings for some of his other younger relatives quite happily and always found them to be pleasant people.

Now as we're getting closer to our RSVP deadline, I'm starting to notice that a large number of these same younger family members are declining invitations to attend our wedding. We're having a traditional wedding with evening reception that includes food/drinks/dancing/etc, so I'm surprised that these kids don't want to attend. If nothing else it's an evening of free entertainment! They seemed to enjoy their own events quite a bit and ours is very similar.

Their mothers and I communicate fairly often and I'm tempted to ask them about their children's responses. I probably won't, but if the mothers bring it up, then I would be curious to get their views.

What do you ladies and gentlemen think?

I need a bit of help ladies!

I've always been of the mindset that shower invitations must be sent out 4 weeks in advance in order to give people enough time to make arrangements if they wish to attend. My friends are currently planning a shower for me within the next couple of weeks and I've heard that the shower invitations have still not gone out due to a few extenuating circumstances. At this point, I would like to ask them to cancel the shower (how rude is that?) because I really don't want people scrambling to make arrangements to attend a party in my honor. I'm really just honored that they wanted to do this for me and the support has been amazing.

I didn't request the shower and I really don't need it, but they insisted that they wanted to do it. However, I hate to see them go to all this effort when I doubt that people will be able to attend. Summer is such a busy time for everyone. What should I do, if anything?

Thanks in advance!

I have a few questions for all of you in the 30ish crowd regarding your wedding day plans:

1. Are you renting a limo to take you and your bridal party to the reception and/or to a secondary photo site or is everyone taking their own cars?

The reason I'm curious is because all of our bridal party members have children that are attending the wedding and I thought leaving the spouse to deal with the kids in between the ceremony/reception for photos might be a bit rude. We can do most of the bridal party photos at the church and then outside the reception hall, so although I like the idea of an alternate location (for sentimental reasons), we can always take those by ourselves.

2. We've got a 2 hour gap between the official end of the ceremony and the start of the reception, but we will have beverages and snacks at the church for people who wish to hang out and chat, so there is something to do. My family takes awhile to leave church, so this is normal for us.... (more to follow)

We have a number of nieces and nephews on my fiance's side that want to be included in the wedding in some manner. Ideally, they all want to be dressed up (tuxes, gowns, etc.) and stand at the front of the church. One child already told us "I'm wearing a tux and standing up there whether you like it or not." The rude behavior annoys me quite a bit, but I understand that they want to be included and just don't understand you can't always do whatever you want.

In any event, I'm going to offer these kids the opportunity to get involved, but the catch is that they will have to read a scripture that I choose in front of the church. They aren't reliable enough to do an actual "job", so assigning them a task isn't an option, but I thought this was more than fair. If they fall through on the reading for some reason, then our pastor can just read it himself without any problems. What do you think?

I have a 14 year old niece who is going to be a junior bridesmaid in my formal wedding this fall. The bridesmaids (all in their 30s) will be wearing varied black evening gowns and we're debating what to do with my niece. Her mother and I were raised that young ladies under 20 do not wear all black dresses, but we are seeing a number of young gals her age getting these gowns. What do you think? We would be chosing an age appropriate style for her regardless of the color.