cakitcat2

How would you feel about a contest at work where all of the employees were required to have their picture taken every day when they arrived? At the end of the week all of the photos were posted and the workers were required to vote for the best and most stylish dressed and the worst and least stylish dressed employee. There is some kind of reward at the end but no one knows what it is. The establishment is a retail store where management is trying to increase awareness of style among the employees. Do you think that this is respectful of the employees? Why or why not?

If you found out that you were always wanted by your n-father, that he had been trying to work with your a-parents since you were 2 yrs old to become part of the open adoption, (because that is when he found out about you) and that he never wanted, or would have given you up to adoption, and your a-parents wouldn't even give him or the rest of his family a chance to see you or even receive cards or letters or gifts from any of them? The entire time the n-father has all of the identifying information on the adoptive family. What would you expect from the n-family? What should they do with that information? Would you expect your n-family to give up or would you expect them to keep trying no matter what?

The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people- no mere father and mother- as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born. -

Pearl S. Buck

I know very little about her but I found a quote of hers that I like. I won't use it until I know what her part in adoption was though. Any information will be appreciated.

Do you think that this is part of coercion?

www.bethany.org -

www.addictionsearch.com/treatment_reciprocal/89771.html - Cached

I have a problem with that. The people who adopted my grandson have said in their letters that it was in God's plan for them to get him. Would that mean that it was in God's plan for his mother to be a drug addict and for her and my son to have premaritial sex? Was it in God's plan for my son to lose his son to strangers or for the rest of our family to have to live without him? Does that mean that God likes them better than us? I think that people need to think before they say stuff like that.

Am I the only one that feels that way?

change their minds?

What would make the most sense to them? My son is a stable and responsible person that did not choose adoption for his son. When he found out about the child he immediately began to look for the child. Since it had been 2 yrs by the time he was able to contact the AP's he felt like he should be a part of the open adoption. They are not open for it as of yet. What could he say or do to convince them to slowly but surely get to know him so that they would feel more comfortable with the idea? The lawyers are pushing for a huge law suit that would be hard on everyone involved. If the AP's continue excluding my son that is what is going to happen but if it could be avoided it would be better for everyone.

Any suggestions will be appreciated.

I keep hearing people call some on here trolls. What is meant by that?

First of all I want to thank all who answer questions in this section of Y/A. I don't think that you are being self-rightious (most of the time) j/k.

I think that it is great that there is somewhere that you can go to get honest answers from such a wide variety of people.

That being said....I am in a dilemna and I need some suggestions. The adoption agency lawyers are trying to turn our efforts to be involved with my grandson into a huge court battle. They have sent papers that are untrue and slanderous (about us) to my son and to the ap's. I don't think that the ap's are fully aware of the entire situation.

I know that a huge court battle would not be good for anyone. I don't want my grandson paying for this in the long run. I know that it is better for my grandson to have his nfather in his life. My son is willing to settle for open adoption but the lawyers are making it where he is gonna have to go for custody.

Does anyone have links that may help?

Thanks

If you would, what would you say? What do you think the public needs to know about adoption that they don't already know? What are their misconceptions about adoption?

Would you want to share your personal experience in such a public way?

If you wouldn't, why wouldn't you?

I am just curious what others opinions are on this subject.

I am wondering what adult adoptees think about this. If your nmother gave you up with without your nfather knowing about it for 2 yrs. would you expect your nfather to fight for custody? If he just fought for contact and visitation would it be better? and if your aparents wouldn't allow contact and visitation would you hold it against them. My son is in this situation. We want what is best for the child and we don't have experience and so we want to ask those of you who do. Thank you in advance for taking time to answer sincerely.

A girl that I know is a drug addict. She was wanted by the cops and on the run. She was pregnant. An agency took her in and kept her til she had the baby. They adopted the baby out. Then they let her go. The AA had her put unknown father. The father is not an addict. He wants the baby and didn't know the situation until it was too late. They are keeping the child from him and trying to get him to sign his rights away. What can be done to stop these agencies from taking children without birth fathers knowledge or consent? If a bf wants to get his child the odds are low and it costs $$$'s

I have done a lot of research on this subject and seen this same situation over and over again. If you know of some please post them along with ideas of what to do to combat this. I look forward to seeing your responses.

My son found out that he had a son who was put up for adoption and is now 2yrs old. We have been in contact with the adoption agency and the AP's and have even met them and the little boy. There has not been a paternity test because the adoption agency won't allow it until my son signs away his rights. Even though my son would not have allowed the adoption if he would have known he feels that it would not be in the best interest of the child to remove him from his adoptive family. The adoption is supposed to be open but we were only allowed to see the family with the adoption agency watching us. My son wants to have 4 visits a year with the boy and phone contact with the parents. The agency says no that is too much. We have not been given any information on the family except first names. I don't think that the agency is being up front with us or the adoptive family and I want to contact them and talk to them on my own. I have attained their home number. Should I call them?