livingonthinice

Hi all - my story is more like an love book which has been writetn a number of times over. I am 49 years old and am looking for my first love called "Anjali Mathur" - who did her college from Shree Shishayatan college. Calcutta and then was forced into marraige by her lovely family on my birthday - the day I had returned to marry her and take her back to the country I live in and adore - Spain - better still Barcelona. I was just about 23 at that time but extremely mature as I was in my fag end of teens, when I left India and had to live alone for years and years( I had to complwnet to do my MBA in Intl' marketing from the Univ. of Barcelona and was the youngest MBA 21 years old!. May I request all you folks if you know any lady called "Anjali Mathur" ( she would be quite aged by now) with the details I have given. She left India in 197. If I could just talk to her once I could will live and love in peace for the years( or months) that I have

Remembr ANJALI MATHUR FROM CALCUTTA

Anyone got any idea where I could pick up a 350 in mint condition anywhere in India?

My mother widowed mother lives here in India -where we too live with our two teens. As the eldest son - the onus fell on me to take care of her. I have tried to convince her to sell all assets and move to either UK, Spain, Aust. or The US,where my brother and sister reside respectively. She, is adamant about living in India.She is very sentimental about the house as my Dad built it with a lot of grit and hurdles. Things at that time the financial situation was at its lowest ebb.Things got better as we grew up.The problem is my wife and I are not comfortable living in India. I am proud of India& being an Indian but having lived so many years abroad my thinking has changed and hard as I try I cant seem to adjust with the red tape, corruption here& am sorry to say we cant even speak our langauge Hindi. I cant leave my mother alone and return to Europe? I have a fantastic job with one of the most reputed Companies in the world and can posted to Spain. Any suggestions?

I have terminal cancer and know as to how long I have to live. I have moved all my assets into my wifes name and have ensured she and my sons will never lack anything. My wife however refuses to accept the fact and feels I am perfectly ok and the doctors messed up. She hates it when I even broach the subject of how she should take care of herself and my sons in terms of living a good life and understanding all there is pertaining to our assets. She just shuts out and does not want to listen. I keep telling her she must hear me out and see all the documents so there will be no problems once I am not there but then again she refuses to do so as she feels it is my job and I am not going anywhere. I am a very practical person and want her to be one too. What advise would you give her to accept the inevitable?

What is your first thought if ( God forbid ) you have been diagnosed with cancer and know that you are going to go through some very tough times. Times where you may feel death is a better option then going through so much physical pain. The thought of leaving your loved ones behind etc?

What would you do? Would you think you are cursed and why you? or would you look at it in a positive manner as its given you the time to slow down from the fast pace we lead, enjoy the time with your family ( time you never had ), see some lovely places ( not on business ), fall in love with your wife/GF once again?

In India most marraiges are arranged and my parents felt it was time. So I married this girl. It was during the same time another woman came into my life. I truly do not know what drew me to her but I really fell in love with her and she with me. I made it clear that I would never leave my wife or kids for her.She accepted the same. She never made ANY kind of demands from me.All she wanted was love and I still truly love her which says a lot.One day asked me to promise I would not get mad and told me she was pregnant. I was in panic mode.She told me that she would not tell anyone who the father was.My wife got to know and created havoc- abusing this woman and the boy. I tried to explain that it was entirely my mistake and I should suffer the consequences but fell to deaf ears.She took every abuse calmly and told my wife that she would never disrupt my family life and that she was happy that my wife had me for a husband. .Please read the addon before commenting

I have cancer of the lyranx and my voice box as well as my food pipe is compteley blocked and has become a solid tissue. Can anyone who has done surgeries ( plastic ) please tell if an esophegus transplant is possible. We hear everyday of various parts of the body which we all though was impossible being now transplanted and hence my question. If any doctor out there has any comments or suggestions they would be more then welcome. Thanking you all well in advanvce.

I am an Indian who has spent most of my life in the UK and Spain and hold a Spanish passport. I was just 17 when I set foot in Spain and continued living there right through my MBA and more. There is very little that I have not done in my life- world travel, modelling in Milan and Barcelona, drinking,smoking and womanising. I had noone to hold my hand and guide me and that led to going around with more women then I can even remember. The girls too would give me opportunities and I took them with glee. I returned to India on a holiday and landed up getting married. My wife decided we should settle down in India and after a lot of yes/no - it was India. A call from Barcelona took me surprise as the person on the other end claimed to be my offspring and he had a sister too. I had never had a clue of this development and my wife is livid though all this happened before I we met. The kids want to see me and want a share of my property in Spain which is quite a bit. What should I do?

I have written earlier in this column and recieved some great replies. My cancer has returned with a vengence but the doctors are unable to give me a time frame. Looking back, both my air and food passage do not exist as a fall out of the overdose of radiation,making it impossible for me to eat or drink (even a sip of water)in six years. I have to breathe through my stoma and have no voice. How many would you term me as alive?For all practical reasons I am a dead man walking. I feel I am a burden on my family and wish my real timewould come fast as I want to be at peace.The longer I live - I continue to be obstacle in everyones lives. I have already catered for my familys needs and so have no problems with their futures. I have catered for my sons education and leave behind a lot of property in India, Spain and England. I think they will be happy and free from seeing me suffering.I never complain as the cancer was ment to be and the time waits for noone. I want to be free..

I am extremely grateful to each one of you for the support you have given me.I went to the Doctor this morning peering down my throat he found a growth and got me to get a MRI. As it turns out, the cancer has returned.The biggest problem is that during the course of my treatment, I received a massive dose of radiation( double of what a person can withstand in his whole life). My MRI was a must but under normal circumstances even an x-ray could prove fatal. Chemo is going to be of no help and there is no question of surgery. My treating doctor is very fond of me as it seems I liven up the hospital and is very frank with me. Now as it stands I have cancer, a time period to live, no voice, no food passage and still have the responsibilty to look after my mother, wife and two teenaged sons. I accepted the verdict very normally as I know there is nothing I or anyone can do. I have lived an extraordinary life and have no regrets. I have ensured that noone in the family will lack anything.

If you were diagnosed with oral cancer six years ago in its last stages and were not given much of a chance to survive and yet you did come out of it. In the process, however, you lost your voice ( and marketing/sales was your profession ), you now breathe through your throat and then your food passage blocked up and its been six long years since you last even had a sip of water, let alone solids from your mouth. All that you " eat" is liquids injected directly into your stomach. To top it all the doctors have given no chance of ever getting back to be able to eat or breathe normally and the cancer has surfaced again but in a very small controlable way.

How would you cope with it / what would you do? Keeping in view you have two young sons in their teens and a wife and a widowed mother, who you have to take care of as there is noone else and you are the sole earning member.

How many of you, those who actually smoke enjoy the cigarette? How many of you were influenced by any film star smoking on the silver screen and how many of you feel smoking should be banned from all movies.

One final question - if by circumstances ( cancer for example ) one had to stop smoking how many ( thruthfully please ) would say that they would revert to smoking if they had been cured totally and were now like their original selves?

Have been married 20 yrs. to a beautiful woman and have two great teenaged sons. Met a single woman -one thing led to another.She is now married and has a son. Her husband got a DNA done and it turned out that I was the dad! My wife got to know about it and has made me cut off all relations with her, which is okay with her ( for the sake of her husband who accepted him) and I. Would love to see the child once in a while though- but that will mean serious problems for me. She has given him a name which is a combination of my two teens.I was at fault with all what happened though the child was something she desperately wanted and she was/is in love with me. I have stopped all communications with her but my wife still has doubts and monitors all my phones (itemized billing), mails etc. Its been over a year I have not kept in touch. What do I do to convince her that I have nothing more to with the lady or 'my' son?

No wisecracks please.

I just answered a question on a certain topic regarding cancer. I have cancer and have no food or air passage. I "eat" through a tube in my stomach and breate through a tube in my throat. My cancer had nothing to do with smoking( though I was a smoker like a million others). I would like to know if there are anymore survivors here who have not eaten solids orally for six years or even sipped a drop of water - have survived only on high protien liquid feeds injected into the stomach directly. The doctors have said nothing more can be done and yet I do not feel the pain I ought to nor the dissapointment. People think I hide my emotions behind a false wall - which honestly I do not. I really do enjoy my life and I still work very hard and spend some great times with my lovely wife and stupendous sons. I know my time is near but that does not scare me.I am very honestly saying this. I have lived a beautiful life and have no regrets except feel very bad for my wife and sons. They too know.!

I honestly thank each one fo you for all the kindness and sympathy shown to me. I am not scared of dying and neither am those who would like to take my own life. I enjoy life and will do so till the end comes. The main thing is my aged mother, my wife of 20 years and my two young teenaged sons are well aware of the situation.

Once again - thank you all and my God bless each one of you'll.

I have been suffereing from cancer for the last six years and it has affected my life style a great deal. I feed through a peg tube in my stomach and breathe thru a tracheostomy in my throat. I have also been told by my doctor, that my life span was limited. I have no regrets about dying and in fact when I had a brush earlier, Irequested my wife to take me home from the hopsital so that I could pass away in my comfy bed.

Even today, as I know how much time I have left, I have made all the required provisions for my wife, my teenaged sons and my aged mother - so that they will never be any financial difficulties. I have also made it clear that I am in way to be given any further treatment and let life just take its course.

I have lived a fantastic life, a life that most would not live in all their reincarnations ( if you believe in the same)- I have travelled the world, have modled for the best of designers, have studied abroad - all in all its been a complete life. No regrets.

I am always keen to know and understand your opinions on a certain aspect of cancer having been through the pain and miseries of the same. How many of you - survivors or others feel we actually invite cancer into our lives with our life styles, denials and the scare of visiting the doctor to be told that one may have cancer? I know noone wants to invite cancer, but all of us do some real crazy things that helps cancer walk into our lives. We are all aware of the consequences of those crazy things, but we still do it imagining that cancer can never hit us. Its always the other person who is prone to get it. Its only when one lands up getting it these sort of questions arise.

I look forward to your answers as it would give me a great insight of what you all feel. I am supposed to give a talk at a cancer seminar on this topic and hence welcome your help. I have been lucky to get some great answers here and hope to receive replies from those who feel we do invite the cancer.

Would appreciate serious answers. Having survived cancer when there was no hope, its strange but I never held the cancer responsible for my condition. The scars it left behind are more then most can bear - I will never be able to eat orally or breathe normally for the rest of my life and has been six years since I last tasted food or had a drink of water. I still do not blame the cancer and consider myself lucky I got it. It has taught me so many things like becoming more humane, seeing the world in a different perspective, watching my kids grown into fine young men, falling in love with my wife all over again, devoting time to my aged mother, helping others who are not so lucky with funding their medicines, diet and money. If not for Cancer - I would still be the old grouch - working day and night and not enjoying the lovely life that we always wish we had but never had the time. I have been to hell and back. What do you survivors feel about cancer? Is cancer a curse or a teacher?

border fighting commanding 300 soldiers directly under him. He came back on leave and found that his wife was having an affair with a fellow officer and someone else. A lot of crap was on the computer too. He has been so depressed since then he has started drinking heavily and wants to go back to the border. Our mother tried to talk to his wife to talk things out with six people being around - her parents and she, my mother, my brother and I. She has refused this offer and also the offer for a divorce on mutual grounds. His wife has made it clear that she will not divorce him but wants a seperation. This is hitting below the belt as she knows he is well off and by not giving into the divorce she will have access to everything he has.I am the eldest in our home have managed to keep him calm as he is too depressed.If he goes back to the border, we are worried he may commit some some mistake that could take take his life or endager those of his men which would spell disaster to all. help!

My younger son of 14 years sufferes from this allergy. It is so bad at times that he just cannot write or walk with all the bandages around. It hurts me like crazy to see him that way. He is par excellent in his studies and extremly mature for his age. We have been to a number of dermotologists and the help we got were very temprory and not s full cure. I am keen on a seeing him with a full cure and lead a normal life. The illness/allergy has become a source of depression for him which he compensates with overeating and becoming over weight. He refuses to exercise as his fingers and his feet are very sensitive and hence the requirement for a total cure. Can anyone tell me if they have been though this and if so did they get cured totally and if so what was the treatment? It would be great if I got an idea of to tackle this problem as his overeating and becoming obese is scary to the extent that he may have other problems later on in life - Diabites, Blood pressure etc.