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A question asked before but not to the point.?
In India most marraiges are arranged and my parents felt it was time. So I married this girl. It was during the same time another woman came into my life. I truly do not know what drew me to her but I really fell in love with her and she with me. I made it clear that I would never leave my wife or kids for her.She accepted the same. She never made ANY kind of demands from me.All she wanted was love and I still truly love her which says a lot.One day asked me to promise I would not get mad and told me she was pregnant. I was in panic mode.She told me that she would not tell anyone who the father was.My wife got to know and created havoc- abusing this woman and the boy. I tried to explain that it was entirely my mistake and I should suffer the consequences but fell to deaf ears.She took every abuse calmly and told my wife that she would never disrupt my family life and that she was happy that my wife had me for a husband. .Please read the addon before commenting
I really felt and still feel bad for what kind of humilation she underwent for my sake and only wish i had met her just a few days before I got married and things would have been different. I love my wife and I love the other woman in my life and my life will be a void without either of them. I want to be with both and our kids - what do you all think I should do.
I already know I am at fault - but I am truly in love with both and both are truly in love with me and have been so for the last 20 years. The other woman has remained unmarried ever since she met me as she did not want to get married to anyone else, though i tried a lot of times to convince her to do so.
What does one do in such a case?
One final thing I would like to add is that I have terminal cancer and both have looked after me with a lot of care and love. Both ( though never together ) have spent so many sleepless hours that its hard to even explain. Its not that I am trying to show that I blame my wife as i can understand her feelings - but my only regret is the few days before our marraige was arranged, I should have met this girl.
3 Answers
- BLANKLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
If things have been going on this way for 20 years, why do they have to change now? I won't say I agree with the choices you have made but it seems things have worked out fairly well for YOU. Unless one of your women are making demands on you I don't see why you have to make any changes about anything. All parties have a comfortable place within your life and shouldn't feel threatened. If you feel you need to change, you know the answer in your heart. Go with that.
- chiaraLv 41 decade ago
Im not going to sit and critisise you for cheating on your wife etc but I will say that I think you really need to stop the ''woa is me'' attitude and make a choice.
You love both but its not possible for you to have both unfortunately. You love your wife, you love another woman, you have kids from both, you are married to one.
You make it sound like it is your wife's fault being angry when her entire marriage was a lie cause you met someone else.
You dont want to leave your wife, so dont. Keep responsiblity with the child from the mistress and forget about a relationship with her, you cannot have both.
If you want the mistress, hard as it may be, divorce your wife.
You have to make this huge mistake you have made right again for your children's sake.
Also, its sad that you are ill , it would be good for your soul if you try and make good in your ways. Your women both love you and take care of you, thats what you are supposed to do when you love someone, only in your case you really had the best of both worlds aside from your illness. Everyone deserves to be taken care of regardless of their horrible choices and how many people they have hurt. Give your children something to live by and make up for lost time...
- 1 decade ago
Timing sucks sometimes doesn't it? Bottom line... you're married, and your first priority in regard to the women has to be your wife... especially since you claim to love her. As far as the children go, you have a responsibility and you need to be accountable as a father to ALL of them. You owe it to the children, to yourself, and to both women. But do what's right and let the other woman go so that she may find some sort of peace and happiness in her life since you are unable to give that to her. You cannot have them both... you know it and the sooner you accept it, the quicker you can all get on with your life and heal from this.
Your wife's anger should be directed at you.... not at the other woman. You're the one that broke your vows and betrayed her. And it certainly should not be directed at the child. That child is totally and completely innocent. And I'd question the integrity and morality of anyone that inflicted abuse on a child for a situation they are nothing more than a victim of.
