Alyssa B

So, I'm a pretty aggressive chick with no patience for that third date to wait for a first kiss kind of nonsense... I'm all about sensing if the mood is right, just going "for it" which could be making out or it could be "all the way" or who knows. I'm finding, however, that it turns out that I will see the guy a few times and even if I thought we had something clicking, he seems to think that I'm not exactly the datable type.

The question is, do guys prefer it if the girl makes him WORK for it? I always hear them talking to each other about how they always wish the girl would just make the move and go for it if they want it, but maybe that's just guys talking to each other, and not what they really really want.

On the other hand, I always hear that one should be oneself... and I agree - it's not fair to the guy to spring your real personality on him several months after he meets you, right?

btw, I'm 28 and female, and this is something I've been wondering for a little while.

I live in an apartment with three cats, one is mine, the other two belong to my roommate. The only reason I know it's just the one cat who pees on my bathroom floor is because I have observed her in the act on several occasions.

About this cat: She is about 6-7 years old, and just started doing this about a year ago. She is declawed, and is the only cat in the house with missing front claws. (now, the reason she is declawed is because her claws would not retract, and she nearly maimed herself as a kitten trying to free herself from the carpet. My roommate did not want her to be declawed except for the fact that she would always come home to the cat bleeding on the carpet and stuck.) So far, the only way I've been able to keep her from peeing in my bathroom is if I take the litterbox out to the porch with the door open so they can get to it, and keep my bathroom door shut. Normally, the litterbox sits in my bathroom, and she actually has to walk farther to get to where she pees.

I have tried fel-a-way, "natural solution", bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, ammonia cleaner, windex, Borax, baking soda, pieces of orange peels and tin foil, and she just pees right on top of them.

Now, I know the solution is to take the cat to the vet and have her checked out for a UTI, but it's not my cat, and I don't have any money or a car anyway. How do I convince my roommate, whose cat it is and who happens to HAVE money, to do that? I'm also open to more suggestions on how to keep the cat from peeing on my floor, because once winter comes I'll have to keep the porch door shut or freeze to death, and I'd rather not have to clean up pee whenever I want to go to the bathroom.

I work for a tiny internet company that has been losing business. They keep telling me that money is very tight and that they'll get me my money when they can. The money they owe me is from two weeks ago, and today is payday again. They tell me, "we'll get you the money today if we can get out the driveway." it snowed yesterday and everything is icey... it all sounds so reasonable... but then they're not giving me today's paycheck until possibly Monday. If then. If they bring me my old check. If if if...

What would you do? I have friends telling me I should sue, but I'm more than aware of the financial situation of this company and I know that we're trying to fix it with a new sales person, but this is patently ridiculous. I've been working here for 2.5 years now and while I'm severely underpaid, I'm also suffering from the occasional bounced check which has turned me into a creditor avoider all this time.

Keep in mind that I've been looking for a new job since September and haven't found anyone willing to hire yet, as they're all scared to take on the extra expense. I'm almost thinking of just working at the closest Subway or something, if they're hiring...

"get a new job" I think is the answer, but what do I do about my current check situation?

Like, everyone seems to hate them, and they're forced to like football and baseball and aren't allowed to be intellectual unless they're at least Bi. It seems like all the other minority groups (whether a sexual minority or a race minority) get to have so much more fun than the standard straight white male. Even women get support groups! But if you get a straight white male you can stereotype him and no one cares. He's supposed to like sports, be a womanizer, work out a little, but be gross at home. Have no fashion sense and drive a truck. He either is a hunter and works a physical labor type job, or he's a hard-winning executive type who drinks a lot. Actually both types are supposed to drink a lot of crappy beer.

They're typecast as evil things in so many movies... None are considered romantic anymore. Women don't need them for anything other than their sperm, and many of us prefer to hang out with our gay friends.

Sometimes I look at the straight white males and just feel pity. I think there needs to be a "straight white males for personal expression" revolution. Let the straight men wear skirts if they wanna! Let them know that you don't have to "do dudes" to enjoy a good play or something. If gay people and women are allowed to be manly, then straight men should be allowed to be less than manly if they want to.

I also think that men shouldn't always get the worst part of the divorce settlement, but that's probably another question.

Soooo... I knew a woman who used to be a man. She used to be married and had fathered a couple of children. She realized that she was a woman trapped in a man's body and decided to go through the therapies and surgeries to become a woman. However, she got divorced from her wife and I don't know how often she sees her children.

Aside from that, I sometimes wonder: If two people get married, a man and a woman, and the man decides he wants to be a lesbian, and the woman actually doesn't mind, after he becomes a legal woman, are they still technically married, even if they didn't get married in the state of California or... the other one that allows it?

I know that's all a pretty iffy setup for a question, as going through the hormones and surgery typically tends to destroy marriages (as far as I've heard - though please correct me if I'm wrong. I love to hear happy endings...) due to the emotional trauma on the partnership... but if it DID happen... wouldn't that be an odd way to break that rule?

So... If I feel overly full, like if I over-eat - like eat a whole chipotle burrito and feel like I'm so stuffed I'm gonna be sick... I will just give in to the inevitable and go throw up in the bathroom if I can do so in private.

I got a pint of ice cream last week, and I finished it today. I didn't think anything of it 'cause I'd only had like "some" every day - not like a lot, and I used little bowls and didn't heap it on... but my roommate comes in and saw the ice cream container in the trash and said, "Oh my god, did you eat all that ice cream ALREADY?" with this complete look of disgust on her face and I was shocked, and now I feel like I should go puke.

But it has been 10 hours since I ate that ice cream this morning and it wouldn't come back up if I tried. I hardly ate at all today - just an apple and some toast otherwise.

Does my reaction to her disgust point to a budding problem? I probably won't eat tonight now. I feel nauseas.

Not enough characters in the title, but - say he comes to your house with a dozen roses, buys you a fancy dinner, takes you on a tour of the city and obviously spent an elaborate amount of money on him - do you feel like you need to sleep with him, then?

If you want to explain your reason why you feel you do or you don't, feel free. :) I like debates.

like, seriously? It seems like every day at the same time of day there is at least one person trying desperately to be a pain in the a--.

I've never understood trolls, or why they frickin' bother.

What do you think?

I love my best friend. If I were ever to experiment with the lesbian side of life, it'd be with her.

Here's my issue:

People always ask us if we're a couple (we're practically attached at the hip...) which elicits the response from her: "She's my heterosexual life partner" which is fine, and then she'll tell me she's not interested in me romantically etc etc...

But recently she's been... all over me, really. Like with cuddling and hugging and all up in my personal space when previously it was like there was a 6 inch bubble around both of us. And for MY part, though I love her and wouldn't mind trying stuff, she's always held firm that while she identifies as Bi, she doesn't actually like all out sex with girls, but rather just like making out and like, everything up to but not sex. So I pretty much just play along but never initiate anything, and continue to try to find "booty" elsewhere.

But then I tell her of guys I meet or whatever and she gets like, depressed-like and doesn't want to hear about it.

But she SWEARS she doesn't have a "thing" for me.

...

Do you think she's lying to keep herself from getting hurt by me?

If I think she's super hot and actually enjoy the cuddling etc, and would be willing to try just about anything with her, does that technically make me Bi, or am I straight with a certain exception? I have NO feelings like this for ANY other girl.

I do hate labeling... I've always felt that if I found love with whomever it was, no matter whether they were male, female or some crazy gender that's not even described, that I'd be just fine with it.

I duno, I'm just looking for opinions from you guys.